Animals are People Too
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10265078/
I just have one question: did the PETA spokesperson (or his family) eat turkey this Thanksgiving? (Mine was great.) I think that the ad mentioned is unfair to poultry and livestock butchers, not to mention pesticide companies. They probably feel left out. Why is PETA only campaigning to save fish? What about all the poor, defenseless ants that are stomped on every day by naughty people like me? I think we should write to PETA to protest this horrible outrage. "Equal rights for groundhogs," people.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Genius of the Day/Week/Month
Sen. Joe Lieberman
It's refreshing to have a Democrat like Lieberman in congress to remind us that not all Democrats are unprincipled, backstabbing, opportunists who would sell out their own country to further their own political agenda, and that there are those who, even though we may disagree with them on many issues, are men of principle and earnestly believe they are doing what is best for the country.
Sen. Joe Lieberman
It's refreshing to have a Democrat like Lieberman in congress to remind us that not all Democrats are unprincipled, backstabbing, opportunists who would sell out their own country to further their own political agenda, and that there are those who, even though we may disagree with them on many issues, are men of principle and earnestly believe they are doing what is best for the country.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
How I met my wife.
by Jack Winter
Published 25 July 1994 - The New Yorker
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.
I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make bones about it since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would do.
Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.
So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make heads and tails of.
I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it nerved me that she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt capacitated -- as if this were something I was great shakes at -- and forgot that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number of times. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.
Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only called-for remarks, I started talking about the hors d'oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself.
She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to some good. She told me who she was. "What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The conversation become more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.
For those of you who haven't read that yet.
by Jack Winter
Published 25 July 1994 - The New Yorker
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.
I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make bones about it since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would do.
Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.
So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make heads and tails of.
I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it nerved me that she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt capacitated -- as if this were something I was great shakes at -- and forgot that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number of times. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.
Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only called-for remarks, I started talking about the hors d'oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself.
She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to some good. She told me who she was. "What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The conversation become more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.
For those of you who haven't read that yet.
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
More True Stories From College.
I'm British. I know how to queue.
That's one of my favorite lines from HHGG. And it nicely brings us to today's topic. Every time I pick what I think is the "short" line at the grocery store or a fast food restaurant or the entrance to Disneyland, and then it turns out that the people in front of you are retardedly slow, I think back to a particular Operations Research class. The esteemed demi-god, Dr. Coleman, was introducing the topic of queuing and talking about the different types of queues (single queue, single-server; single queue, multi-server; multi-queue, multi-server) and how you can predict the average wait time if you know the arrival probability and distribution and the average process time. This is used to determine how many cash registers you need open, or how many people you need working the car wash. Fascinating stuff.
But as usual, Tom was goofing off in the back with Ildy and drew a hilarious picture of what happens whenever he gets in line at a multi-queue, multi-server system. It went something like this:
Every time this happens to me (like today at the grocery store when the lady in front of me wanted to cash a check and the clerk had to take her to the special customer service check-cashing area and shut down the register for about five minutes, after I had already unloaded my stuff), I think of Tom, Ildy, and that OR class.
I'm British. I know how to queue.
That's one of my favorite lines from HHGG. And it nicely brings us to today's topic. Every time I pick what I think is the "short" line at the grocery store or a fast food restaurant or the entrance to Disneyland, and then it turns out that the people in front of you are retardedly slow, I think back to a particular Operations Research class. The esteemed demi-god, Dr. Coleman, was introducing the topic of queuing and talking about the different types of queues (single queue, single-server; single queue, multi-server; multi-queue, multi-server) and how you can predict the average wait time if you know the arrival probability and distribution and the average process time. This is used to determine how many cash registers you need open, or how many people you need working the car wash. Fascinating stuff.
But as usual, Tom was goofing off in the back with Ildy and drew a hilarious picture of what happens whenever he gets in line at a multi-queue, multi-server system. It went something like this:
Every time this happens to me (like today at the grocery store when the lady in front of me wanted to cash a check and the clerk had to take her to the special customer service check-cashing area and shut down the register for about five minutes, after I had already unloaded my stuff), I think of Tom, Ildy, and that OR class.
Monday, November 7, 2005
Thursday, November 3, 2005
BlizzCon.
Just like ComiCon, only nerdier
Ok, so at long last, here are the long-awaited promised pictures of BlizzCon.
I would be lying if I said I was in a good mood when we got there. I had been planning on getting there when it opened, at about 10:00am on Friday. I informed Anne Marie that we needed to leave at 9:00 (taking "Rie time" into account, where you always tell her we have to be walking out the door 30 minutes earlier than you actually do, knowing that she'll be 30 minutes late, at least). But we didn't leave at 9:00. We hadn't left by 10:00. We didn't leave until after 3:00, and finally got to the Con at 4:00. Those of you who know me (and that would be anyone reading this blog) know that I am not known for my patience. An hour delay I can take. Two hours is pushing it, but six hours? I was quite unhappy. The main reason for the delay is that it took seven hours for Rie and Tine to get ready. Rie started about 8:00 and after a couple hours, only had her ears done. I knew then it would be a while, so I got started on some gaming (mainly F.E.A.R., also a little Serious Sam 2.) By about 2:00 I was starting to get really annoyed. At 2:55 I announced that I would be leaving at 3:00, ready or not. Of course I waited around till 3:15, but nothing like a little threatening to get people moving. So when we finally left, I was not a happy camper.
But all that changed when I got there.
This is what you saw when you walked into the Anaheim Convention Center. A huge monument to the gods of gaming goodness. The logo floating in mid-air, surrounded by images of the saints of the cathedral of Blizzard. Use hushed tones in these hallowed halls, and take off thine sandals, for thou art walking on hallowed ground.
Just off to the side, when you walk in they had the Dwarf statue (normally just inside the entrance to Blizzard's HQ) in a display with banners of the Alliance and Horde (Hoard? Whored?). The convention floor was massive, with thousands of PCs and X-Boxes lined up, demoing the forthcoming Blizzard titles. Off to the right was an area where they had a playable demo of the World of Warcraft add-on: the Burning Crusade. Towards the back, they had an immense playing field of X-Boxes with the Starcraft: Ghost multiplayer. On the left they had an area where you could play the neweset battlegrounds from WoW.
In addition to that, there was plenty else to do. They had panels with the developers (sat in on a couple interesting ones), realm meetings, and press events. Any frustrations of the morning soon passed.
Anyways, on to the costumes.
The Brave Adventurers set forth on their mission: to enter gaming Nirvana.
A close-up of Rie. This picture was taken after we got home and were exhausted. Her make-up is amazingly mostly intact. The sexiest part of the day was definitely when Rie was stripped down to her panties and painting herself purple. There's something strangely arousing about that. Also notice that her eyes are purple too. It was hard to get her to hold still so I could paint her pupils.
This is a good close-up of Tine. She put a lot of work into her eye tattoos. Both Rie and Tine's looks are taken from a close-up of her characters in the game:
Nevlonniel (Rie)
Floranna (Tine)
Rie took this wonderful picture of me blinking. She must have tried hard, or have been psychic to know exactly when I was going to blink, as it takes a second for the camera to take a picture once you press the button. If you weren't aware, I'm dressed as a Human Rogue. One of my main characters in the game (Legolamb) is a Night Elf Rogue, but I wasn't too keen on the whole body-painting thing, so I went as a human. The way you can tell I'm a Rogue (aside from the invisibility stance) is by the Red Defias Mask, which is only wearable by Rogues. Obviously.
My shirt, boots, bracers, gloves, daggers, belt, and pouch all come from a place called RavenswoodLeather. Don't ever order from them. They're really flaky, messed up our first order, and didn't get some of the correct items to us until after the Con (like Rie's bow, and my extra pouch).
The pants, jerkin, and cloak were all specially made by a seamstress, whom Anne Marie discovered some how. I think the link was to Christy, who played Slave Leia at ComicCon. Rie knows her somehow and managed to get a reference to the seamstress who had made her costume. I love the cloak. It also had a hood, but I didn't get any pictures of me with it up. I might just use the cloak on a day-to-day basis if it gets cold enough. It's really warm.
Rie is dressed as her character Nevlonniel, a Night Elf Hunter. She went for a rugged look (thus the faux-suade outfit). She also had a quiver where she would put her arrows, if they allowed them in the convention, and would also have a bow, if they allowed those too. The details of her costume include a number of bones and teeth and the like. What you'd expect a hunter to have.
Rie's costume came from many different places. I don't know where she got the gloves or boots. The bracers and belt came from Ravenswood, along with the dagger (supposed to be two, but they only sent one), and the quiver. The pants, top, and cloak were made by the seamstress. A lot of time went into it, as you can see that the pants have a split down the side, which is laced up with leather string. This also meant that Rie had to paint her legs. She also had lots of jewelry that I think she got when we were in Phoenix for a day last July. That's where the earings, necklaces and arm bands come from.
Tine is dressed as her character Floranna, a Night Elf Druid. Druids in the game are based on Nature, so she went with a green dress she got off E-Bay. The jewelry was also bought by Rie when we were in Arizona. There's an interesting story behind her staff. Rie was at a park a few months ago for a Orange County Star Wars Society meeting. While she was there, she came across a tree with a branch that had broken and was hanging loose. She knew she needed to find a stick for Tine for her costume, so she enlisted the help of a few friends to finish cutting it off the tree and get it to the car. Once home, she peeled off the bark to reveal a wonderful white wood underneath. She then dressed it up with beads, peacock feathers, and leather strips for the hand holds. In the end, it came out wonderfully. Rie initially wanted to stain the stick a darker brown, but Tine, Jimmy, and I talked her out of it. It really is a beautiful white wood.
Other Costumes
This is one of the first people we saw. I thought this was a really good Tauren costume.
Here's another Night Elf. She air-brushed herself. The advantage is that it only took her 15 minutes. The disavantage is it quickly rubbed off and became uneven.
This guy was great. He was dressed as a Murloc and was protesting the slaughter of his brothers around the World of Warcraft. I think this is the same guy who made the film The Plush Murloc Goes to E3.
This costume won one of the 5 first prizes (an Alienware Area 51 Extreme Gaming System) in the costume contest. I think it's a Cenarion Keeper. He could hardly move around in that costume.
These people got on of the 5 runner-up prizes in the costume contest (a Pentium 4 3.4Ghz processor). They're dressed as undead (in case you couldn't tell. The acted the part well too.
A Warlock and his Succubus.
On the left, we have a few girls dressed as who knows what. The right-most chick is a succubus, I know. During the costume competition, one of the comentators mentioned that it might as well have been a Succubus competition, for all the girls dressed as one. Some were hot, some were not. One even identified herself as a pr0n*. I was about to take a picture of her, until she revealed that fact. Then I sorta lost interest. FU-News does not post pictures of pr0n*s.
The guy with the blonde hair in the group on the right won one of the runner-up prizes. He's dressed as Arthas, from Warcraft III and its expansion, The Frozen Throne. (He shoulda gotten electric seat heaters, like I have in my car. Then it wouldn't be so frozen. < /random >)
The Resident Murloc with... a murloc! That one won first prize, and boy, did she deserve it (yes, she). She had to stand bent over at the waist the entire time.
Another view, with the Murloc handler. She couldn't see where she was going, so she had to have a wrangler guide her along.
Poor murloc is so tired!
This is the cutest costume of the evening! A baby dressed as a Murloc! How cute! I think I may be able to convince Rie to have kids if I promise her she can dress them up as Murloclings. The two chicks are paid models of Blizzard. Speaking of which...
Booth babes! There dressed as generic Night Elf and Human. The Night Elf didn't even bother painting her skin. The real fans are more dedicated than the promoters.
Blizzard also hired a chick to play Nova from the forthcoming Starcraft: Ghost. She's hot, as all booth babes should be. Christine also pointed out that she was afflicted with camel toe.
I think this guy was a hired model. Maybe not. He wasn't in the costume contest, but he did hang out at the Microsoft Windows booth the whole time, so I'm inclined to think he's fake.
In addition to the Murloc and Cenarion Keeper, the other winners of the costume contest are:
Dwarf
Starcraft Human
Orc chick (yes, that is a chick)
In addition to Arthas and the Undead, the runners-up (not "runner-ups" as they insisted on saying at the contest) were:
Panda Girl (this is actually a reference to the narcoleptic Panda collector's edition pet, that randomly falls asleep and emits green Z's. It's very cute.)
Gnome on Mechano-strider
And I think this Nova (but I can't remember for sure, so don't quote me on that).
Panels and Events
First, let me get my thoughts on the WoW expansion out of the way. Anime. No seriously. The expansion demo they had there allowed you to play the Blood Elves in their starting area of Quel'Thalas. They look like something out of a Japanese Cartoon. The area of Quel'Thalas is awesome thought. The artwork, as you'd expect for a Blizzard game, is spectacular (more artwork later). I know why this was done. A few weeks ago, Rie and I went out to dinner with some of the Blizzard programmers and server technicians and we were talking about it. Apparently, the single biggest complaint about WoW in Korea (where most of the extreme fans are) was that there were no "pretty" races on the horde. Apparently the Koreans have something for pretty people. As a result, very few people played horde on the Korean servers, and in one extreme instance, there was a Korean server that had two horde characters on the entire server! So Blizzard, in an attempt to reach out to the Korean fan base, which really is their most loyal fan base (those Koreans play a fierce WoW), decided to make a horde race consisting of androdgenous males and twelve-year-old-looking females. Oh well. And in other "insider" news, it looks like the Pandarans won's be the Alliance race, as everyone is expecting, because that would make the game illegal in China (where, apparently, it's illegal to kill anything that looks like a Panda, even in a video game). Stupid Blizzard, bowing to Asian interests. So instead, we have the hahayouthoughtIwasgoingtosay as the Alliance race.
Ok, next up is my favorite panel of the convention.
This is an annoyingly dark pictures. The was the slowest shutter speed I could manage and still get a non-blurry picture. The picture is of (from left to right): Mike "Gabe" Krahulik and Jerry "Tycho" Holkins of Penny Arcade, Woody Hearn of GUComics, and Scott Kurtz of PVP. I'm a fan of the first two, but haven't gotten in to the last. If you're unfamiliar with them, Penny Arcade and GUComics are two very funny (if adult themed) online comics about the gaming world. This panel was absolutely hilarious. Imagine putting four of the funniest people on the internet in one room and that's about what you had here.
To set up my favorite line of the panel, I need some back story. There is a lawyer named Jack Thompson who is among the world's biggest idiots. He has made it his personal goal to ban video games from the face of the earth, as they turn what are otherwise normal, well-adjusted, kitten-loving children into violent, murderous killers, trained to assassinate every cop on earth. Now, we all (and I mean all of us, even the guys at Penny Arcade and GUComics) dont' think kids under 17 should be playing violent games like GTA, (and I'd take it a step further and say games like GTA and Manhunt shouldn't have been made, although I wouldn't support a ban, anymore than I would on rated R movies I don't like). As Mike and Jerry of PA put it, "I think we can all agree that young kids should not play violent videogames. I think we can also agree that they should not watch violent movies or read pornographic magazines. That’s a job for parents not Jack Thompson."
But Jack Thompson has taken this so far as to be branded as a world-class nutburger. Organizations such as the National Institute on Media and the Family are distancing themselves from Mr. Thompson. Anyways, in his high and holy crusade, Jack Thompson has made a "modest proposal" for a video game. Should any company be willing to target themselves, as they intentionally "target cops, women, homosexuals, and other groups with some of their violent games," Jack promised to give $10,000 to the favorite charity Paul Eibeler (the Chairman of Take-Two Interactive). Targeting cops, I understand, but homosexuals? What game has you running around beating up Gays?
Well, guess what. Someone did and Jack renigged. An independent developer made a mod for GTA in which you play as Jack Thompson and go around murdering video game execs and retail cashiers who sell violent games. Mr. Thompson, claiming his original offer was only "satire" to show the industry's hypocrisy, broke his promise. Saying he was "just kidding" he also ridiculed the video game community ("what's next, 'the necromancy community'?", Jack says), for lack of insight into his keen wit. The guys at Penny Arcade respond "Thompson now claims that his repellent suggestion was 'satire,' and we must conclude that his financial offer was also satire, some new breed of satire apparently that I'm sure is just hilarious to people in need."
So anyways, Mike and Jerry of Penny Arcade went toe-to-toe with Thomspon. Gabe, speaking with him on the phone asked him if Jack would have to sue himself if someone made his game. That's not the only run-in gamers have had with him. The author of VGCats also had a humorous encounter that shows what a wacko Jack is.
So when the guys at Penny Arcade got wind of Jack's broken promise, what did they do? Why, they donated $10,000 dollars themselves, in Jack's name. Jack's response? He contacted the Seattle Police department and tried to have Mike and Jerry arrested for "criminal harassment".
So back to the panel at BlizzCon. Someone asked the panelists if, particularly with regards to what Jack Thompson is trying to accomplish, they feel a serious responsibility to be a voice for the gamining community. Mike responded saying, "nothing we do is ever really serious. I mean, we donated $10,000 to charity out of spite." You'll be happy to know that, after an investigation, the Seattle Police Department has concluded that no criminal activity has taken place.
The rest of the panel was also hilarious, and Scott of PVP was probably the funniest. I'll have to start reading the strip, if it's as funny as he himself is.
Another intersting thing, someone asked who their influences in terms of other comic strips were. Woody of GUComics mentioned that he loved Bill Amend's work. Some one else then mentioned that Bill Amend was at the convention. I spent the rest of the time looking for him, but alas, couldn't find him. I don't know what he looks like, so that made it difficult. I would have loved to meet him. Jason Fox is my second favorite comic strip character, next to Calvin.
Ok, so on with the convention.
Another thing we watched was the Invitational Tournamnt. They had some of the best professional Warcraft and Starcraft players from around the world competing for $10,000 and a wicked-arse trophy. I watched the championship game, where some American guy wiped the floor with a Korean. Some bloody brilliant playing.
Other interesting panels I attended include one on getting a job in the industry, and one on character design. They took you through their steps on how they created each of the classes and also the evolution of the talent tree. Fascinating stuff.
Artwork
They had a small art gallery of some of Blizzard's amazing concept work. I've included a few of my favorites.
The Concert
At the end of the second day, they closed with a concert.
Leading off, was Level 60 Elite Tauren Chieftan, a band formed by several Blizzard employees, including Rie's boss.
That's Rie's boss. He's a bass guitarist for L60ETC.
They did three WoW-themed songs. During the last one, entitled "I Am Murloc", the brought the Murloc from the costume competition onstage.
Dancing Murloc!
After them was a comedian named Christian Finnegan. Never heard of him either. (As he said himself, "sometimes I don't even know who I am.") He was pretty funny. Probably one of his funniest jokes went something like "I don't want to start anything here, but there are a bunch of EverQuest nerds outside and they're calling you all a bunch of losers. Nah, I want to start an MMO Gang War. It would be the dorkiest gang war ever and consist of nerds text-messaging each other death threats on their cell phones."
He also made a joke that The Onion made years ago about the girls there being made to feel hotter than they actually are. They're what he calls "BlizzCon Hot". There was a funny Onion news item a while ago about a rather plain girl who was being made to feel really attractive by all the attention she was getting as one of the few girls at DragonCon. 'Twere funny.
Lastly was Offspring. We didn't stay for that whole part. They didn't play any of the songs I knew from Tom's and my "T&A Sessions" that we had in college. Periodically, Tom would play one of their music videos on his computer, and Offspring have a particular affinity to well-endowed women, thus giving rise to the term.
During the concert the guy in the protesting Murloc costume started body surfing. Didn't get any pictures. Sorry.
And so there you have it. Ah! But I forgot to mention! One of the things you get for attending BlizzCon (in addition to a beta key for an "as yet unannounced closed beta") is a pet murloc for your in-game character!
Murky!
He also dances.
Just like ComiCon, only nerdier
Ok, so at long last, here are the long-awaited promised pictures of BlizzCon.
I would be lying if I said I was in a good mood when we got there. I had been planning on getting there when it opened, at about 10:00am on Friday. I informed Anne Marie that we needed to leave at 9:00 (taking "Rie time" into account, where you always tell her we have to be walking out the door 30 minutes earlier than you actually do, knowing that she'll be 30 minutes late, at least). But we didn't leave at 9:00. We hadn't left by 10:00. We didn't leave until after 3:00, and finally got to the Con at 4:00. Those of you who know me (and that would be anyone reading this blog) know that I am not known for my patience. An hour delay I can take. Two hours is pushing it, but six hours? I was quite unhappy. The main reason for the delay is that it took seven hours for Rie and Tine to get ready. Rie started about 8:00 and after a couple hours, only had her ears done. I knew then it would be a while, so I got started on some gaming (mainly F.E.A.R., also a little Serious Sam 2.) By about 2:00 I was starting to get really annoyed. At 2:55 I announced that I would be leaving at 3:00, ready or not. Of course I waited around till 3:15, but nothing like a little threatening to get people moving. So when we finally left, I was not a happy camper.
But all that changed when I got there.
This is what you saw when you walked into the Anaheim Convention Center. A huge monument to the gods of gaming goodness. The logo floating in mid-air, surrounded by images of the saints of the cathedral of Blizzard. Use hushed tones in these hallowed halls, and take off thine sandals, for thou art walking on hallowed ground.
Just off to the side, when you walk in they had the Dwarf statue (normally just inside the entrance to Blizzard's HQ) in a display with banners of the Alliance and Horde (Hoard? Whored?). The convention floor was massive, with thousands of PCs and X-Boxes lined up, demoing the forthcoming Blizzard titles. Off to the right was an area where they had a playable demo of the World of Warcraft add-on: the Burning Crusade. Towards the back, they had an immense playing field of X-Boxes with the Starcraft: Ghost multiplayer. On the left they had an area where you could play the neweset battlegrounds from WoW.
In addition to that, there was plenty else to do. They had panels with the developers (sat in on a couple interesting ones), realm meetings, and press events. Any frustrations of the morning soon passed.
Anyways, on to the costumes.
The Brave Adventurers set forth on their mission: to enter gaming Nirvana.
A close-up of Rie. This picture was taken after we got home and were exhausted. Her make-up is amazingly mostly intact. The sexiest part of the day was definitely when Rie was stripped down to her panties and painting herself purple. There's something strangely arousing about that. Also notice that her eyes are purple too. It was hard to get her to hold still so I could paint her pupils.
This is a good close-up of Tine. She put a lot of work into her eye tattoos. Both Rie and Tine's looks are taken from a close-up of her characters in the game:
Nevlonniel (Rie)
Floranna (Tine)
Rie took this wonderful picture of me blinking. She must have tried hard, or have been psychic to know exactly when I was going to blink, as it takes a second for the camera to take a picture once you press the button. If you weren't aware, I'm dressed as a Human Rogue. One of my main characters in the game (Legolamb) is a Night Elf Rogue, but I wasn't too keen on the whole body-painting thing, so I went as a human. The way you can tell I'm a Rogue (aside from the invisibility stance) is by the Red Defias Mask, which is only wearable by Rogues. Obviously.
My shirt, boots, bracers, gloves, daggers, belt, and pouch all come from a place called RavenswoodLeather. Don't ever order from them. They're really flaky, messed up our first order, and didn't get some of the correct items to us until after the Con (like Rie's bow, and my extra pouch).
The pants, jerkin, and cloak were all specially made by a seamstress, whom Anne Marie discovered some how. I think the link was to Christy, who played Slave Leia at ComicCon. Rie knows her somehow and managed to get a reference to the seamstress who had made her costume. I love the cloak. It also had a hood, but I didn't get any pictures of me with it up. I might just use the cloak on a day-to-day basis if it gets cold enough. It's really warm.
Rie is dressed as her character Nevlonniel, a Night Elf Hunter. She went for a rugged look (thus the faux-suade outfit). She also had a quiver where she would put her arrows, if they allowed them in the convention, and would also have a bow, if they allowed those too. The details of her costume include a number of bones and teeth and the like. What you'd expect a hunter to have.
Rie's costume came from many different places. I don't know where she got the gloves or boots. The bracers and belt came from Ravenswood, along with the dagger (supposed to be two, but they only sent one), and the quiver. The pants, top, and cloak were made by the seamstress. A lot of time went into it, as you can see that the pants have a split down the side, which is laced up with leather string. This also meant that Rie had to paint her legs. She also had lots of jewelry that I think she got when we were in Phoenix for a day last July. That's where the earings, necklaces and arm bands come from.
Tine is dressed as her character Floranna, a Night Elf Druid. Druids in the game are based on Nature, so she went with a green dress she got off E-Bay. The jewelry was also bought by Rie when we were in Arizona. There's an interesting story behind her staff. Rie was at a park a few months ago for a Orange County Star Wars Society meeting. While she was there, she came across a tree with a branch that had broken and was hanging loose. She knew she needed to find a stick for Tine for her costume, so she enlisted the help of a few friends to finish cutting it off the tree and get it to the car. Once home, she peeled off the bark to reveal a wonderful white wood underneath. She then dressed it up with beads, peacock feathers, and leather strips for the hand holds. In the end, it came out wonderfully. Rie initially wanted to stain the stick a darker brown, but Tine, Jimmy, and I talked her out of it. It really is a beautiful white wood.
Other Costumes
This is one of the first people we saw. I thought this was a really good Tauren costume.
Here's another Night Elf. She air-brushed herself. The advantage is that it only took her 15 minutes. The disavantage is it quickly rubbed off and became uneven.
This guy was great. He was dressed as a Murloc and was protesting the slaughter of his brothers around the World of Warcraft. I think this is the same guy who made the film The Plush Murloc Goes to E3.
This costume won one of the 5 first prizes (an Alienware Area 51 Extreme Gaming System) in the costume contest. I think it's a Cenarion Keeper. He could hardly move around in that costume.
These people got on of the 5 runner-up prizes in the costume contest (a Pentium 4 3.4Ghz processor). They're dressed as undead (in case you couldn't tell. The acted the part well too.
A Warlock and his Succubus.
On the left, we have a few girls dressed as who knows what. The right-most chick is a succubus, I know. During the costume competition, one of the comentators mentioned that it might as well have been a Succubus competition, for all the girls dressed as one. Some were hot, some were not. One even identified herself as a pr0n*. I was about to take a picture of her, until she revealed that fact. Then I sorta lost interest. FU-News does not post pictures of pr0n*s.
The guy with the blonde hair in the group on the right won one of the runner-up prizes. He's dressed as Arthas, from Warcraft III and its expansion, The Frozen Throne. (He shoulda gotten electric seat heaters, like I have in my car. Then it wouldn't be so frozen. < /random >)
The Resident Murloc with... a murloc! That one won first prize, and boy, did she deserve it (yes, she). She had to stand bent over at the waist the entire time.
Another view, with the Murloc handler. She couldn't see where she was going, so she had to have a wrangler guide her along.
Poor murloc is so tired!
This is the cutest costume of the evening! A baby dressed as a Murloc! How cute! I think I may be able to convince Rie to have kids if I promise her she can dress them up as Murloclings. The two chicks are paid models of Blizzard. Speaking of which...
Booth babes! There dressed as generic Night Elf and Human. The Night Elf didn't even bother painting her skin. The real fans are more dedicated than the promoters.
Blizzard also hired a chick to play Nova from the forthcoming Starcraft: Ghost. She's hot, as all booth babes should be. Christine also pointed out that she was afflicted with camel toe.
I think this guy was a hired model. Maybe not. He wasn't in the costume contest, but he did hang out at the Microsoft Windows booth the whole time, so I'm inclined to think he's fake.
In addition to the Murloc and Cenarion Keeper, the other winners of the costume contest are:
Dwarf
Starcraft Human
Orc chick (yes, that is a chick)
In addition to Arthas and the Undead, the runners-up (not "runner-ups" as they insisted on saying at the contest) were:
Panda Girl (this is actually a reference to the narcoleptic Panda collector's edition pet, that randomly falls asleep and emits green Z's. It's very cute.)
Gnome on Mechano-strider
And I think this Nova (but I can't remember for sure, so don't quote me on that).
Panels and Events
First, let me get my thoughts on the WoW expansion out of the way. Anime. No seriously. The expansion demo they had there allowed you to play the Blood Elves in their starting area of Quel'Thalas. They look like something out of a Japanese Cartoon. The area of Quel'Thalas is awesome thought. The artwork, as you'd expect for a Blizzard game, is spectacular (more artwork later). I know why this was done. A few weeks ago, Rie and I went out to dinner with some of the Blizzard programmers and server technicians and we were talking about it. Apparently, the single biggest complaint about WoW in Korea (where most of the extreme fans are) was that there were no "pretty" races on the horde. Apparently the Koreans have something for pretty people. As a result, very few people played horde on the Korean servers, and in one extreme instance, there was a Korean server that had two horde characters on the entire server! So Blizzard, in an attempt to reach out to the Korean fan base, which really is their most loyal fan base (those Koreans play a fierce WoW), decided to make a horde race consisting of androdgenous males and twelve-year-old-looking females. Oh well. And in other "insider" news, it looks like the Pandarans won's be the Alliance race, as everyone is expecting, because that would make the game illegal in China (where, apparently, it's illegal to kill anything that looks like a Panda, even in a video game). Stupid Blizzard, bowing to Asian interests. So instead, we have the hahayouthoughtIwasgoingtosay as the Alliance race.
Ok, next up is my favorite panel of the convention.
This is an annoyingly dark pictures. The was the slowest shutter speed I could manage and still get a non-blurry picture. The picture is of (from left to right): Mike "Gabe" Krahulik and Jerry "Tycho" Holkins of Penny Arcade, Woody Hearn of GUComics, and Scott Kurtz of PVP. I'm a fan of the first two, but haven't gotten in to the last. If you're unfamiliar with them, Penny Arcade and GUComics are two very funny (if adult themed) online comics about the gaming world. This panel was absolutely hilarious. Imagine putting four of the funniest people on the internet in one room and that's about what you had here.
To set up my favorite line of the panel, I need some back story. There is a lawyer named Jack Thompson who is among the world's biggest idiots. He has made it his personal goal to ban video games from the face of the earth, as they turn what are otherwise normal, well-adjusted, kitten-loving children into violent, murderous killers, trained to assassinate every cop on earth. Now, we all (and I mean all of us, even the guys at Penny Arcade and GUComics) dont' think kids under 17 should be playing violent games like GTA, (and I'd take it a step further and say games like GTA and Manhunt shouldn't have been made, although I wouldn't support a ban, anymore than I would on rated R movies I don't like). As Mike and Jerry of PA put it, "I think we can all agree that young kids should not play violent videogames. I think we can also agree that they should not watch violent movies or read pornographic magazines. That’s a job for parents not Jack Thompson."
But Jack Thompson has taken this so far as to be branded as a world-class nutburger. Organizations such as the National Institute on Media and the Family are distancing themselves from Mr. Thompson. Anyways, in his high and holy crusade, Jack Thompson has made a "modest proposal" for a video game. Should any company be willing to target themselves, as they intentionally "target cops, women, homosexuals, and other groups with some of their violent games," Jack promised to give $10,000 to the favorite charity Paul Eibeler (the Chairman of Take-Two Interactive). Targeting cops, I understand, but homosexuals? What game has you running around beating up Gays?
Well, guess what. Someone did and Jack renigged. An independent developer made a mod for GTA in which you play as Jack Thompson and go around murdering video game execs and retail cashiers who sell violent games. Mr. Thompson, claiming his original offer was only "satire" to show the industry's hypocrisy, broke his promise. Saying he was "just kidding" he also ridiculed the video game community ("what's next, 'the necromancy community'?", Jack says), for lack of insight into his keen wit. The guys at Penny Arcade respond "Thompson now claims that his repellent suggestion was 'satire,' and we must conclude that his financial offer was also satire, some new breed of satire apparently that I'm sure is just hilarious to people in need."
So anyways, Mike and Jerry of Penny Arcade went toe-to-toe with Thomspon. Gabe, speaking with him on the phone asked him if Jack would have to sue himself if someone made his game. That's not the only run-in gamers have had with him. The author of VGCats also had a humorous encounter that shows what a wacko Jack is.
So when the guys at Penny Arcade got wind of Jack's broken promise, what did they do? Why, they donated $10,000 dollars themselves, in Jack's name. Jack's response? He contacted the Seattle Police department and tried to have Mike and Jerry arrested for "criminal harassment".
So back to the panel at BlizzCon. Someone asked the panelists if, particularly with regards to what Jack Thompson is trying to accomplish, they feel a serious responsibility to be a voice for the gamining community. Mike responded saying, "nothing we do is ever really serious. I mean, we donated $10,000 to charity out of spite." You'll be happy to know that, after an investigation, the Seattle Police Department has concluded that no criminal activity has taken place.
The rest of the panel was also hilarious, and Scott of PVP was probably the funniest. I'll have to start reading the strip, if it's as funny as he himself is.
Another intersting thing, someone asked who their influences in terms of other comic strips were. Woody of GUComics mentioned that he loved Bill Amend's work. Some one else then mentioned that Bill Amend was at the convention. I spent the rest of the time looking for him, but alas, couldn't find him. I don't know what he looks like, so that made it difficult. I would have loved to meet him. Jason Fox is my second favorite comic strip character, next to Calvin.
Ok, so on with the convention.
Another thing we watched was the Invitational Tournamnt. They had some of the best professional Warcraft and Starcraft players from around the world competing for $10,000 and a wicked-arse trophy. I watched the championship game, where some American guy wiped the floor with a Korean. Some bloody brilliant playing.
Other interesting panels I attended include one on getting a job in the industry, and one on character design. They took you through their steps on how they created each of the classes and also the evolution of the talent tree. Fascinating stuff.
Artwork
They had a small art gallery of some of Blizzard's amazing concept work. I've included a few of my favorites.
The Concert
At the end of the second day, they closed with a concert.
Leading off, was Level 60 Elite Tauren Chieftan, a band formed by several Blizzard employees, including Rie's boss.
That's Rie's boss. He's a bass guitarist for L60ETC.
They did three WoW-themed songs. During the last one, entitled "I Am Murloc", the brought the Murloc from the costume competition onstage.
Dancing Murloc!
After them was a comedian named Christian Finnegan. Never heard of him either. (As he said himself, "sometimes I don't even know who I am.") He was pretty funny. Probably one of his funniest jokes went something like "I don't want to start anything here, but there are a bunch of EverQuest nerds outside and they're calling you all a bunch of losers. Nah, I want to start an MMO Gang War. It would be the dorkiest gang war ever and consist of nerds text-messaging each other death threats on their cell phones."
He also made a joke that The Onion made years ago about the girls there being made to feel hotter than they actually are. They're what he calls "BlizzCon Hot". There was a funny Onion news item a while ago about a rather plain girl who was being made to feel really attractive by all the attention she was getting as one of the few girls at DragonCon. 'Twere funny.
Lastly was Offspring. We didn't stay for that whole part. They didn't play any of the songs I knew from Tom's and my "T&A Sessions" that we had in college. Periodically, Tom would play one of their music videos on his computer, and Offspring have a particular affinity to well-endowed women, thus giving rise to the term.
During the concert the guy in the protesting Murloc costume started body surfing. Didn't get any pictures. Sorry.
And so there you have it. Ah! But I forgot to mention! One of the things you get for attending BlizzCon (in addition to a beta key for an "as yet unannounced closed beta") is a pet murloc for your in-game character!
Murky!
He also dances.
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