Happy 29th Anniversary to Star Wars and 4th Anniversary to Tom & Ileana Adams!!!!

Bored? Need something to do for several hours? I suggest...

The blue ball factory.

When you're bored with that, there's...

Another blue ball factory.

Doomulus Prime.

Hey, remember this?


Well, look what was added to WoW a couple months ago:
Doomulus Prime

Okay, not quite as über, but still....

Lordi Wins Eurovision!!!!
Proving that at least one country in Europe is cool
Current Score- Zombies: 1 Pop: 0


Check out the awesome Chuck Berry guitar duck walk and the guitar pirotechnics!

Don't Look, You'll Only Encourage Her
Wow, you sure shocked me this time, Madonna. Gee willikers, I wonder if you could shock me again.
Maybe if you had some Arockalyptic Zombie Cheerleaders. Now that'd rock--- I mean shock me.

Movie Review: Dr. Zhivago


I was thrilled to be able to sit down and relax and finally attempt to achieve a balance between being a programmer, a full-time mom, and a housewife. With laundry beside me and baby across my knees, I settled into the couch for a record-breaking multitasking session of clothes duty, baby duty, and watch-the-library-rentals-before-they’re-due duty. My DVD of choice this time was Dr. Zhivago, mainly because I go through a phase about once a year of wanting inexplicably to watch a dreadfully dull historical drama starring Omar Sharif, preferably with Alec Guinness somewhere in the cast. Nightmares of last year’s fix did not prevent me from inserting the disk into the player and embarking on the next most frightening chapter of my chaotic life.

The first thing to greet my eyes was a startling image of Mr. Omar Sharif as an old man. He graciously thanked me for deciding to watch this film and informed me that he was, as an actor, particularly proud of it. He proceeded to tell me how much fun he had making the film, and ushered in the prelude like an old foreign gentleman introducing a sophisticated lady. Thank God for scene skippers on DVD remotes--there’s only so much staring at a dead forest with odd old American saloon music playing in the background an ADD child like myself can take before going postal. I feared for my laundry. I mean, what the heck is an American saloon doing in Russia? Exactly. So why do we have to have music that sounds like one?

Unfortunately, that same flabbergasting music plagued the entire movie…or rescued it. I can’t tell which. Just when I thought the movie wanted me to be sad, I would hear that music and sense that I was supposed to feel joyful because John Wayne was coming around the corner to punch someone‘s lights out. What did it mean, then, that I wanted to shred my laundry in angry protest against all modern film, most especially this one? The story left me with the same feeling I always get when I read “free verse” poetry without any rhyme or punctuation: willing and ready to shoot the idiot who wrote it and mug him for pocket change.

Maybe it was that I was just not high-minded enough to get into the characters. Let’s see: there was Dr. Zhivago, a poet with absolutely no moral backbone and the most horrid hair do ever to disgrace the head of man; his beautiful pregnant wife who adored him; a blonde nurse and her daughter; and a few other inconsequential background characters who contributed almost nothing to the pl--

No, I can’t bring myself to use it. Not the “p” word. Not the “pl” word. Not the “plo” word that ends in that criss-crossed letter of ours…no! I won’t! I can’t! I--

Finally, I get it. Zhivago is insane. He is a poet who cannot contain his genius so it drives him into madness. Why else would a man leave his beautiful pregnant wife to go be with some blonde nurse who has absolutely no personality, and better yet, why is he living in war-torn Russia, or even better than that: why is he (or anyone) living in such a freezing, icy place? Because he is mad. Why does he let the blonde nurse get away without making an attempt to go with her? And why does he die trying to catch up to her in the street? Because he is mad. The movie made complete sense once this dawned on me.

Yet throughout the entire movie, one thought kept coming comically to mind, especially after the nth scene of a freezing Russian countryside, which was surprisingly similar to the nth scene of a sweltering Arabian desert: “This is just as awful as watching Lawrence of Arabia backwards.”

Then…there was Alec Guinness! Where the heck did he come from? What? He’s trying to find his niece? What kind of cinematic “masterpiece” gives Alec Guinness less than 30 seconds of airtime to find his niece? Hm…one hour twenty minutes.

ONE HOUR TWENTY MINUTES!?!?!?! Everyone knows that Dr. Zhivago is renowned only for its length, and I had watched straight episodes of Looney Tunes for longer than that. A cold sweat broke out over my face. I laid the baby down, placed the laundry gingerly into the basket so as not to injure it, and surreptitiously, suspiciously approached the DVD player.

It couldn’t be.

I examined the disk as a doctor would a sick patient. The diagnosis was clear: it was a case of mistaken identity. The disk looked exactly the same on both sides. I had seen the “Widescreen” label on one side and put it in as is…

…and proceeded to watch the entire movie backwards. I began to laugh maniacally. Echoes of a Brittany Spears song I had never heard before began playing in my head: Oops, I Did it Again.

It was one of those double-sided disks, and I am now a double-dumb, movie-impaired woman whom my husband insists must not be allowed to watch Omar Sharif movies alone. What can I say? I go through a phase about once a year of wanting inexplicably to watch a dreadfully dull historical drama starring Omar Sharif…backwards.

Did you know that?.

If you Google "Joe Belland", F.U. News will be listed towards the bottom on the third page of results. Most of the other results are for a 1958 15th round draft pick by the San Francisco 49ers from Arizona State. There are also some for a Joe Belland of Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

If you Google "Joseph Belland", most of your results will be for a French wine that is the product of a Monsieur Joseph Belland. I will show up on the second page, for my contribution to BBspot's 3rd annual Geek Limerick Contest.

Now you know.

I'm moving to Finland!
All I can say is this rocks, and I knew there were still people out there that understood me.


Click for more about the Day of Rockening, the Arockalypse and more Eurocrap

For those of you with a LOT of time on your hands (like me).

Ardalambion

Of particular interest is the translation of the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary into Quenya.

A Life-long Dream Come True.


Okay, maybe not "life long", but for at least the last 10 years or so, I've wanted to go to the Electronic Entertainment Expo, better known as E3. Unfortunately, it's a trade show that is not open to the public, and as such, you have to work in the gaming industry to get in.

Well, I might not technically work in "the industry," but I know someone who works for a little company called "Blizzard Entertainement" and she was able to get me a pass for free admission. (On a side note, to use the pass, you have to prove your employment with a company. You do not, however, have to prove that company has anything to do with gaming. So for my purposes, the company I work for is affiliated with the gaming industry.)

So anyways, down to Staples Center for E3. I've been to the LA convetion center for the Auto Show several times. E3 is not much different except instead of cars, they have games and instead of normal people they have nerds. And it's louder. Much louder.



"Establishing Shots" to show the pandemonium and scale of the event. Take note of the banner advertising "Spyhunter" the movie, starring The Rock and directed by John Woo. Three guesses as to how that's going to turn out. And it can't possibly be as good as Dave "Fargo" Kosak's version.



G4 had a presence there as well. Didn't see Adam or Morgan. One of the signs says "meet the hosts of 'Attack of the Show'" between 11am and noon on Friday. It was 12:03 when we arrived and I snapped the picture (/cry).

Pictures from the show floor.

First off, I'd like to register my extreme disappointment at the lack of booth babes. I had been lead to believe that E3 was filled to the brim with scantily-clad booth babes who would throw themselves at passer-by. While walking around the show floor I experienced a distinct lack of thrown booth babe-related injuries. I want my money back.



I did take this one very bad picture of the geek's favorite booth babe known as Lara Croft. I'm only posting it because I timed the picture perfectly to get the worst possible facial expression. She could play Gordon Frohman.



There was a booth babe, albeit somewhat conservatively dressed one, at the Pixar booth. I suppose buxom blondes isn't the best way to advertise a kiddy movie/game.



I did, however, come across some booth, um, army guys. The advertised game is Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway. Aren't the developers ever going to get tired of making WW2 themed games? Probably not as long as we gamers keep shelling out cash for them. And as long as games like Call of Duty 2 keep getting made, that's not likely to stop anytime soon.



F.E.A.R. Very creepy game. They're making a very creepy expansion too. The game is creepy because 1) it features a 14-year-old girl who has supposedly been dead for the last 20 years hunting you down with her mind, and 2) it makes my computer run slowly, except if I turn the graphics settings all the way down (/cry). It's one of those games where you need a $500 video card to properly enjoy it.



Blizzard went all out with their booth. They had a huge screen playing a trailer for The Burning Crusade, the expansion to WoW. If you've been living under a rock, or are not a gamer, then you might not be aware of the two big announcements Blizzard made last week for E3. (Friggin' finally. Rie and I have only known about the Draenei for six months or so.)

On the show floor, they had a playable demo of Burning Crusade, so what does Rie do? Plunks down to play it. We drive all the way to down town LA so she can play WoW.



This is Illidan. He used to be a High Elf, before the Dark Times. Before the Empero- um, Sargeras.



Concept art of Illidan.



Concept art of, um, something. A Draenei perhaps?

At the Activision booth.



Don't mess with him, man. He's Optimus Freakin' Prime.



A Strogg cannon from Enemy Territory: Quake Wars. Don't know much about it, but it combines titles from two games of vastly different settings. Nazi Strogg battling it out with US Space Marines maybe? Might almost be as good as He-Man battling legions of Borg-Nazis.



Close up of the cannon.



Don't remember which booth this was at. It's Wolverine's Harley from the forthcoming X3 movie and game. It comes complete with befuddled looking guy staring at his cell phone.



I'll only drive it if it goes "waka waka waka waka."



A new Pirates movie can only mean one thing. A new Pirates game!



Avast Matey!



Don't be touchin' me swag!



...or me chair!

Speaking of Swag, one of the best parts of E3 is all the free stuff you get. All the companies give out free stuff in a desperate attempt to get you to remember their name or product amongst the sea of lights and noise. Our list of swag includes: 3 NVidia t-shirts, featuring artwork from NVidia-sponsored games on the back (one for Enemy Territory: Quake Wars, one for Supreme Commander, and one for Tomb Raider: Legend, signed by Lady Croft herself. She loves me! The signature said so!); an NVidia adverzine; two Tomb Raider: Legend mousepads; posters for Tomb Raider: Legend, Eragon: The Movie, and Guild Wars: Factions; a Webzen Games inflatable boogie board; folders for Webzen Games' titles Soul of the Ultimate Nation, Huxley, and Project Wiki; two NVidia glowing buttons; four Webzen Games flashy logo necklaces; two Pac-Man trinkets (a plastic ghost and a keychain); an SOE flashy bouncy ball; N-Gage, NVidia, and Webzen swag-carrying bags; five advertisement flyers (two beta invitations for Pirates of the Caribbean Online, a Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning ad, an Eragon: The Movie contest flyer, and a Gamespot After Hours flyer; a moist Towelette with The Game Factory logo; one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

One booth I didn't take any pictures of, but which might have been the coolest booth there was EA's booth. The booth was set up like a panavision theater, where a giant screen wrapped all the way around you. Accompanying the 360° theater was a several trillion-watt sound system. Y'know the kind that shakes the floor when someone in the movie whispers loudly. Anyways, they were showing trailers of their games on this screen. Some of the more intersting ones included Spore and Battlefield 2142. On one section of the wall, they had X-Boxes set up that were running Battle for Middle Earth II.

Now, I have a love/hate relationship with EA, but they have some interesting stuff in the works. Aside from the afformentioned games, the one that really blew me away (and was perhaps the best game at the show, IMHO) was Crysis, from CryTek, makers of the much acclaimed and much-fun FarCry (yes, all their titles have "Cry" in it somewhere). The graphics were mind-blowing. Soft shadows, focal blur, volumetric clouds, motion blur... all the graphical goodies I've been waiting for. I didn't come across it until near the end of the show, so I didn't have enough time to stick around and play, but I did watch another player for a bit. Everytime he quickly jerked the view, a motion blur effect would kick in, as if you were doing a quick-pan on a camera. Remember Commando? Remember "Gardening with Uncle Arnie"? Well, this game allows you to do that! I watched as the player sprayed gunfire towards a palm tree. The palm tree was cut in half and the top half fell to the ground. It's the type of game engine in which I would be happy to run around banging two rocks together.

Anyways, moving on....



The LucasArts booth. For those familiar with the Auto Show or the LA Convention Center, this isn't in one of the main halls. This is off in one of the smaller side halls. Y'know, the one that normally has the Lamborghinis and Ferraris. I guess LucasArts is trying to hold themselves up as more cultured and elite than the rabble on the show floor. I didn't actually go in because you had to stand in a line just to get in the door. Trying to make it feel more like an art gallery, I think. *Sigh* I remember when they used to make good games. They did have a couple interesting announcements, though.

Speaking of art, there was a small exhibit of various artwork for different games. I think this was so the ESA could pretend to be all highfalutin and elite, while still just being gamers.



This is from Rise of Nations: Rise of Legends. I think it's concept art of some Vinci city.



This is from Myst: Revelations. The only Myst game I haven't beaten (mainly because it had the great misfortune of coming out a few weeks prior to World of Warcraft).

The Sony Booth.



They had a giant screen inside a mock-PSP, showing game play from various PSP games. Behind it was a semi-circular panoramic screen.

Of course, the also had a whole bunch of PS3's on the show floor, running various forthcoming games. One of the more interesting-looking ones was Warhawk. They also had a big screen showing demos and trailers of various PS3 games. On which looked interesting, although it gave no indication to the actual gameplay, was called Afrika [Working Title]. The trailer consisted of nothing more than some very highly-detailed and well-rendered African wildlife. I think it was mainly to show off the processing power of the PS3.



We wandered into one of the private showing rooms, where they were demonstrating an interesting niche card game. This game utilized a camera facing the game play board. When you placed a card on the board, the camera would pick it up and show whatever creature or monster that card represented on the screen. When a card was played that would start a battle, it would show the monsters fighting on the screen. An interesting concept, although as one in our group pointed out, having to watch the fight on the screen would only serve to slow down the pace of the game. One might be inclined just to skip the video game portion of it and just play the card game. Now if you could actually control the monsters during the fight, that would be one thing.

As I came out of the private room, I was told to stay right where I was by a large black man, who was attempting to direct traffic. In the bumping and jostling, I realized I was standing right next to Rie's former boss, Mike Morhaime, President and Co-Founder of Blizzard Entertainment. He had actually been in the room with us, but I hadn't noticed. I turned to shake his hand; "Hi Mike. I don't know if you remember me, but we've met before. I'm Anne Marie's husband." He just looked vaguely through me. "That's Steven Spielberg," he said, pointing over my shoulder.

Bwuh?

I hadn't noticed it amongst the large black fellow and jostling crowd, but the guy directing traffic was actually a body guard for Steven Spielberg, who was entering one of the other private rooms at the PS3 booth.

Quick! Get the camera!

I didn't come out well, but I had to post it anyways. The person covered up by the bright flash, whom you can only just barely make out is, in fact, the demi-god of the movie industry,


Steven Spielberg.

We were all in a little bit of awe after that, even Mike Morhaime. I wonder if he was thinking of doing a little schmoozing, considering Blizzard is in need of a talented film director?


The group with Mike (top-center). Never been in a picture with a murderer before.

So we hung out with Mike a little bit. Earlier, we had gone over to Mythic's private booth, where they were showing Warhammer Online. The booth was not open to the public, but Rie's friend knew someone from Mythic who was able to hook us up. For those not cool enough to be in the know, Mythic recently got the rights to turn the popular Warhammer table-top miniatures game into an MMO. Though some might criticize me for saying it, but at first glance, the UI and gameplay looked to be a complete rip-off of Warcraft. So it's no surprise that Mythic and Blizzard are going to be big competitors. So here we are, two people in Blizzard E3 shirts, walking up to the Mythic booth to get a demo. Rie's friend started talking with one of the Mythic employees and I was almost certain fisticuffs would break out. But anyways, we got in and played the demo. Well, anyways, fast forward a bit and we're with Mike Morhaime. Rie's friend asks him if he wanted to see Warhammer. He seemed a bit confused (as if they would let the president of Blizzard in to see a private demo), but went along. Rie's friend talked with his friend and said "my boss is here to see the demo." The response, "who's you're boss?" "The president of Blizzard." Oh my. "Let me get my president and have him talk with your president." But anyways, Mike met Mythic's president and the talked for a few minutes inside the booth. When Mike came out, Rie commented that he had a slightly bewildered expression on his face that seemed to indicate he was thinking "my gosh, it's Warcraft all over again!" Pure speculation, though.

Anyway, so the show winds down and comes to an end at 4:00. On our way out, I turned around and saw that I'd lost Rie. After a couple moments of looking, I saw her madly trying to call me on her cell phone. "Look who it is!"



That guy pwns!

In case you hadn't picked up my not-so-subtle hints, you really need to check out purepwnage.com. Absolutely hilarious stuff. Anyways, we inadvertantly stumbled into Jeremy and Kyle, creators of the show, while filming.


(You can see why Kyle always stays behind the camera. Not nearly as good-looking as Jeremy.)

When I approached to take a picture, Jeremy finished up the bit they were filming and came over to me. We were able to talk for several minutes. I asked about their success, whether we would see them on TV, when their next episode is coming out. Jeremy was incredibly nice and seemed very eager to chat.

When he found out that Rie worked for Blizzard, he started asking her all sorts of questions, like if the people at Blizzard play WoW, what they were working on, and such. He also mentioned that he wanted a cameo in the upcoming Warcraft movie. I suggested he should play Leeroy Jenkins.


he liek totly pwns n00bs n stuf

So anyways, shortly after that, we left the hallowed grounds of E3 and began the trek from downtown LA to Santa Ana.

And thus ended another adventure of...
Joe in the 21st and a half CENTURYYYYYYY!!!!

EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!.

Game Maker to Put Product on Big Screen - New York Times

Key quotes:
"Blizzard and Legendary appeared united in wanting the project to be a major departure from Hollywood's undistinguished record in turning games into films."

"For many years, films based on comic books and traditional high-fantasy worlds suffered the same fate. Yet recently, directors and screenwriters ranging from Peter Jackson with "The Lord of the Rings" to Sam Raimi with "Spider-Man" have come to appreciate that in even the most fantastic setting, a successful film is based on compelling human stories rather than on yet another explosion or dragon.
I've seen this point elsewhere. I don't remember who it was (probably Tycho from Penny Arcade or the Resident Cynic from Gamespy), but I read quite some time ago about the need for the "Spider-Man" of video game movies; the movie based on a video game that focuses on quality of characters and story over special effects.

"Legendary's first film, 'Batman Begins,' directed by Christopher Nolan, was released last year to mostly favorable reviews. Other Legendary projects include the coming 'Superman Returns' and M. Night Shyamalan's 'Lady in the Water.'
Very, very promising. I don't know much about the latest Superman movie, except it's directed by Bryan Singer (X-Men) and the trailer looks good.

Suspicious Packages.

What's this? A package for me? I don't remember ordering anything.


"From:
The Citadel
City 17
Somewhere in Eastern Europe"


Well, let's open it up and see what it is!


The anticipation is killing me! It looks like a...


HEADCRAB! ARGH!


...





After nearly dying from starvation, the headcrab leaves the host in search of its next victim.


Munch! It finds a nice juicy kitty!

Frohwned!.

I've been playing through HL2 again (still the best game ever made) and I've gotta say, after reading the comic strip Concerned, in the later chapters where you have a squad following you, it's very disconcerting to turn around and see this. I'm always afraid of what might happen.

Looks like I'm going to have to buy the Star Wars trilogy again.

Star Wars: Episode IV | This September: Original Unaltered Trilogy on DVD

The #1 Reason Kirk Is Better Than Picard.

Picard is French.

Roast Leg O' Lamb.

Now that Rie and I are level 60 in WoW, we've been able to do raids. Just tonight we were in Molten Core. While there, I discovered something about Blizzard's coding.

I think somewhere buried in the vast spaghetti that is the code for WoW, there must be the following subroutine:

void Firewalker.CreateThreatList(cRaid RaidParty) {
int i;
    for i = 0; i < RaidParty.count; i++ {
        if strcomp(RaidParty(i).PlayerName, "Legolamb") = TRUE then {
            do {
                //cast fireblossom at player for between 3000 and 3500 fire damage)
                cast Fireblossom(RaidParty(i), rand() * 500 + 3000, FIRE_DAMAGE);
            }
            while(RaidParty(i).PlayerHealth > 0;
        }
    }
    ...
}

Essentially, this bit of code will browse through the members of the raid and, if it finds me, it will cast the Fireblossom spell until I am dead. It will not necessarily target anyone else. I do not necessarily have to be attacking the Firewalker. If I'm there, it decides that I must die. Maybe it thinks I'm a frickin' Stoneclaw totem.

Now, I'm not basing this on just a couple isolated incident of getting incinerated by Fireblossom. It's the fact that it did it EIGHT FREAKING TIMES IN A ROW, regardless of what I was doing, while no one else in the entire raid seemed to be having problems of repeat fireblossom gankings. I think the guild should give me double DKP for having to put up with that crap.

And not a single epic dropped the entire time. What a gyp.

Laughing With Him.

The ability to be able to laugh at yourself is very important, particularly in a high-stress job, or one in which you are frequently mocked.

YouTube - George Bush at the White House Correspondents' Association

...which is perhaps one of the reasons I like our current president so much.