Not only shall I produce no content, not only am I embedding other peoples videos, videos that are already viral, I go the extra mile and embed videos of songs no one in their right mind would want to hear. What do I contribute? Nothing except grouping related items. Enjoy. ... or rather despair.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Power of the Feminine
So babby's aunt/godmother is staying with us this weekend, which provided the Murloc and meself with free babbysitting. We took the opportunity to go out to the movies (the first time since we saw Half-Blood Prince!) and went to see the non-Imax, non-3D Alice in Wonderland.
The movie was entertaining and visually splendid, but suffered from the same thing every Tim Burton movie I've ever seen; that is, it's formulaic and the characters didn't engage me. With the possibility of Victor Van Dort, I can't think of a single Tim Burton character that I cared for enough that I would have been emotionally moved by the character's death. I think part of it stems from an unclear character dramatic need and motivation. (So what's Alice's dramatic goal, upon reaching Wonderland? How does Charlie's deep-seated want influence his actions once he's in the chocolate factory?) Also, within ten minutes of the start of Alice, I predicted how it was going to end and even what her final speech was going to be, with a great degree of accuracy (and I'm talking more than just general "the good guys win" prediction).
About the time Alice donned the silver armor and rode into battle with the Vorpal sword to slay the Jabberwocky (that's really not that big of a spoiler; see: predictability), I realized why my co-worker liked the movie so much, and why she urged me to see it, to the point of offering to babysit. Alice is definitely the strong female character, but as I watched, I began to wonder whether she was in fact a strong female character, or a strong character, who just happened to be female. When I thought about it, I realized that she didn't have a single pronounced feminine trait, and had the movie been Bob in Wonderland, it would not have been significantly different or fundamentally changed.
(And we have seen this movie staring a man before. It's called Harry Skywalker and the Dragon of Narnia. In the only-six-plots-in-the-world school of thought, this movie is "boy destined to destroy evil; boy resists destiny; boy finally fulfills destiny," except replace "boy" with "girl". Not that this is a bad thing. I happen to like this plot, thank you very much. But in this particular movie, it's hampered by the fact that Alice's dramatic need is that she wants to be the master of her destiny, and not have to live to other's expectations of her. Her arc of change (learning to forge her own destiny) is kind of incongruous with the movie's events (fulfill other's expectations of her destiny).)
One might argue that everyone expecting her to marry and be a good wife is a part of the movie that only works if Alice is a woman. But this would still work even if the main character was male. The expectation could have been for him to take a wife and follow into his father's business when he wanted to do his own thing.
This is something I've been aware of for a while. Where are the strong female characters? I mean the characters who are strong because of their femininity, instead of in spite of it? This was something that bugged me all the way through "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". After seven seasons, she still didn't have a single trait that required she be a woman. And in fact the other strong "female" character, by which I mean strong character who was female (Willow), had some distinctively masculine traits, i.e., being in love with a woman. This is a problem with all of Joss' shows. Typically speaking, his strong women are usually strong men who happen to have two X chromosomes.
(And this flows directly from my issues with modern pseudo-feminism: that is, women become strong by becoming just like men. "The basic flaw is that feminists start by seeking equality," writes John C. Wright in a recent post, "but finish by seeking androgyny." Women are told that in order to find equality, they need to be like men. Of course, this goal is in direct conflict with biological, psychological, and spiritual realities, in which women are not men. The end result of this philosophy has women rejecting there bodies, and becoming both physically and psychologically sterile.)
I started thinking about female characters who I liked, who were actually strong women, not strong humans. Princess Leia sprung to mind almost immediately. But how is she feminine? I mean, she's good with a blaster, strong leader of her people... y'know, masculine traits. But then I realized that's not what makes her strong. She's a strong character primarily because of how she influences the other characters, namely the men, and namely Han Solo. Luke (a character with an extremely clear dramatic need, as opposed to Burton's characters; he states it outright: "I want to become a Jedi like my father before me") joins the rebellion because of Leia. Han sticks around and changes from scoundrel to noble because of Leia. She really shows the true power of femininity; that is, women have power over men.
A man's power over a woman is purely physical. He can beat her up and take what he wants, but if he is civilized and taught that women are not men (an idea the pseudo-feminists are rapidly trying to expunge), he won't. But a woman's power is so much more than that. If she wants something, all she need do is bat her eyelashes and smile sweetly.
Understanding this relationship also throws St. Paul's teachings into clarity. He puts as head of the family the member who is most easily swayed by the needs of the other, then tells him to love his family as part of his own body. Any guy can understand this, because we already act as servants of our bodies. If it itches, we scratch. If it's hungry, we feed it. If it wants a beer, we drink. To say that we should server the needs of our wives as we do that of our bodies is language any caveman (and let's face it, men are just barely one step above cavemen, largely due to the efforts of women) can understand.
I think at least on a subconscious level, I understood this. When I started writing Jack Flint: Space Pirate (you knew this was coming!) I wanted to write the anti-Joss woman (understandably, because JF:SP is partly my rebuttal to "Firefly.") (Of course, you write what you know, and since I don't know what it's like to be a woman, that sort of leaves out writing a realistic female character, so I did what I assume every other male author does and wrote my fantasy of a woman.)
Regina Burke is my idea of the strong female character. While she is certainly a strong character who happens to be a woman—Jack of all trades, master of many; she's the best pilot Redemptrix has ever had, a good engineer, can handle the guns, and even helps the ship's cook—that's not what makes her a strong female character. Instead, her real strength comes from the one quality she has as a woman that no man can have: her influence on Jack. She, and she alone can stand up to Jack, change his mind, and push him to do good. Not even Jack's long time friend and first mate can manage that. I mean, how could he? Male-male relationships are won by strength alone, and Jack has superior strength over Damian, by virtue of rank. Regina, even though she is the lowest ranking member of the crew, has a power no one else has.
And this is a similar trait that, I realize, all my heroines—written and un-written—have. Father Max's assistant (when I write her), and the heroine of the story I will write when I finish Father Max. </toot my own horn>
This is only what I intend, of course. Whether or not I am good enough to translate the thoughts in my head to words on a page is left as an exercise for the reader.
* * *
The movie was entertaining and visually splendid, but suffered from the same thing every Tim Burton movie I've ever seen; that is, it's formulaic and the characters didn't engage me. With the possibility of Victor Van Dort, I can't think of a single Tim Burton character that I cared for enough that I would have been emotionally moved by the character's death. I think part of it stems from an unclear character dramatic need and motivation. (So what's Alice's dramatic goal, upon reaching Wonderland? How does Charlie's deep-seated want influence his actions once he's in the chocolate factory?) Also, within ten minutes of the start of Alice, I predicted how it was going to end and even what her final speech was going to be, with a great degree of accuracy (and I'm talking more than just general "the good guys win" prediction).
About the time Alice donned the silver armor and rode into battle with the Vorpal sword to slay the Jabberwocky (that's really not that big of a spoiler; see: predictability), I realized why my co-worker liked the movie so much, and why she urged me to see it, to the point of offering to babysit. Alice is definitely the strong female character, but as I watched, I began to wonder whether she was in fact a strong female character, or a strong character, who just happened to be female. When I thought about it, I realized that she didn't have a single pronounced feminine trait, and had the movie been Bob in Wonderland, it would not have been significantly different or fundamentally changed.
(And we have seen this movie staring a man before. It's called Harry Skywalker and the Dragon of Narnia. In the only-six-plots-in-the-world school of thought, this movie is "boy destined to destroy evil; boy resists destiny; boy finally fulfills destiny," except replace "boy" with "girl". Not that this is a bad thing. I happen to like this plot, thank you very much. But in this particular movie, it's hampered by the fact that Alice's dramatic need is that she wants to be the master of her destiny, and not have to live to other's expectations of her. Her arc of change (learning to forge her own destiny) is kind of incongruous with the movie's events (fulfill other's expectations of her destiny).)
One might argue that everyone expecting her to marry and be a good wife is a part of the movie that only works if Alice is a woman. But this would still work even if the main character was male. The expectation could have been for him to take a wife and follow into his father's business when he wanted to do his own thing.
This is something I've been aware of for a while. Where are the strong female characters? I mean the characters who are strong because of their femininity, instead of in spite of it? This was something that bugged me all the way through "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". After seven seasons, she still didn't have a single trait that required she be a woman. And in fact the other strong "female" character, by which I mean strong character who was female (Willow), had some distinctively masculine traits, i.e., being in love with a woman. This is a problem with all of Joss' shows. Typically speaking, his strong women are usually strong men who happen to have two X chromosomes.
(And this flows directly from my issues with modern pseudo-feminism: that is, women become strong by becoming just like men. "The basic flaw is that feminists start by seeking equality," writes John C. Wright in a recent post, "but finish by seeking androgyny." Women are told that in order to find equality, they need to be like men. Of course, this goal is in direct conflict with biological, psychological, and spiritual realities, in which women are not men. The end result of this philosophy has women rejecting there bodies, and becoming both physically and psychologically sterile.)
I started thinking about female characters who I liked, who were actually strong women, not strong humans. Princess Leia sprung to mind almost immediately. But how is she feminine? I mean, she's good with a blaster, strong leader of her people... y'know, masculine traits. But then I realized that's not what makes her strong. She's a strong character primarily because of how she influences the other characters, namely the men, and namely Han Solo. Luke (a character with an extremely clear dramatic need, as opposed to Burton's characters; he states it outright: "I want to become a Jedi like my father before me") joins the rebellion because of Leia. Han sticks around and changes from scoundrel to noble because of Leia. She really shows the true power of femininity; that is, women have power over men.
A man's power over a woman is purely physical. He can beat her up and take what he wants, but if he is civilized and taught that women are not men (an idea the pseudo-feminists are rapidly trying to expunge), he won't. But a woman's power is so much more than that. If she wants something, all she need do is bat her eyelashes and smile sweetly.
Understanding this relationship also throws St. Paul's teachings into clarity. He puts as head of the family the member who is most easily swayed by the needs of the other, then tells him to love his family as part of his own body. Any guy can understand this, because we already act as servants of our bodies. If it itches, we scratch. If it's hungry, we feed it. If it wants a beer, we drink. To say that we should server the needs of our wives as we do that of our bodies is language any caveman (and let's face it, men are just barely one step above cavemen, largely due to the efforts of women) can understand.
I think at least on a subconscious level, I understood this. When I started writing Jack Flint: Space Pirate (you knew this was coming!) I wanted to write the anti-Joss woman (understandably, because JF:SP is partly my rebuttal to "Firefly.") (Of course, you write what you know, and since I don't know what it's like to be a woman, that sort of leaves out writing a realistic female character, so I did what I assume every other male author does and wrote my fantasy of a woman.)
Regina Burke is my idea of the strong female character. While she is certainly a strong character who happens to be a woman—Jack of all trades, master of many; she's the best pilot Redemptrix has ever had, a good engineer, can handle the guns, and even helps the ship's cook—that's not what makes her a strong female character. Instead, her real strength comes from the one quality she has as a woman that no man can have: her influence on Jack. She, and she alone can stand up to Jack, change his mind, and push him to do good. Not even Jack's long time friend and first mate can manage that. I mean, how could he? Male-male relationships are won by strength alone, and Jack has superior strength over Damian, by virtue of rank. Regina, even though she is the lowest ranking member of the crew, has a power no one else has.
And this is a similar trait that, I realize, all my heroines—written and un-written—have. Father Max's assistant (when I write her), and the heroine of the story I will write when I finish Father Max. </toot my own horn>
This is only what I intend, of course. Whether or not I am good enough to translate the thoughts in my head to words on a page is left as an exercise for the reader.
* * *
"Miss Burke," Jack finally started after a long deliberation. "When I give an order on me ship to me crew, I am accustomed to having it followed."
"Excuse me, sir?"
"Back on the fluyt, you disobeyed me direct order to await me return before leaving. Now, I find this a disgusting display of insubordinate behavior."
"Your order reeked, Captain," Burke retorted. "It would have gotten us all killed. Had I stayed for your arrival, you wouldn't have had a ship to come back to."
"Well that is most certainly your opinion, but your reckless actions nearly got you killed anyways, or have you forgotten the EMP you flew me ship into?"
Burke narrowed her eyes and pointed at Jack. "You are not blaming that on me! Your junk heap of a ship failed on me. I saved her at every turn and came up with the plan to defend her without power."
"Me 'junk heap' was working just fine when I left her. Me engine mate could have fixed any problems you had. Maybe if you had waited for him, instead of rashly running off to battle, we wouldn't have even needed your defense plan—which I might point out only worked because of the stupidity of your enemy and not any cleverness on your part. Or perhaps you're too busy trying to do every job yourself, except those I give you."
She made a noise of disgust and rolled her eyes. He continued. "I am the captain of this ship and as such, you will show me the respect me position deserves. And as captain, me orders are final and should be obeyed without question."
"Well, Captain," Burke said snidely, "you're only such because you stole this ship from Lord knows who, not because of some merit-based promotion. Now, judging by your crew's unwavering loyalty, I'd guess that normally your orders warrant respect, but when you're giving orders that will result in the death of your crew, I'm very disinclined to follow them."
"Miss Burke, you are completely out of line. Now as far as disciplinary action—"
"Cut the crap, Jack," she blurted out. "I know your attitude towards me is just part of your 'breaking-in' process. You want to learn if I work under pressure. That's fine. I can deal with it. I served in the armed forces. But I've bled for you." She pointed at the crusted blood on her forehead. "And this marks the second time I've saved your skin without so much as a 'thank you.' I think I've demonstrated my trustworthiness, so you can back off a little."
She stared at him, arms akimbo, her blue eyes looked as if lasers might shoot out of them. Jack returned her glare. She was a good six inches shorter than he, and stared up at him, but didn't back down one bit. He felt the fury boil under his skin. "Miss Burke, you're dismissed," he said coldly, not able to think of anything else to say.
She didn't move. She didn't even shift her gaze.
"That means 'get out'," he explained. But she remained rooted in place. After a few moments he sighed and asked, "Is there something else, Miss Burke?"
"Yes," she replied, with a certain sharpness in her tone. "I think you owe me an explanation."
Jack could feel his ire rising. This was too much. "I do, do I? About what?"
"I think I deserve to know what I've gotten myself into."
"What's your meaning?" Jack said, feigning ignorance. He was afraid he might know the direction she was heading.
"You had been on that fluyt before." Jack was about to raise an objection but she beat him to it. "And don't try to deny it. You knew the layout. You knew which quarters were which. You knew exactly where to find the disk."
"Aye, so I did. Were you going somewhere with this?"
"Yes. It's not a hard jump to make from realizing you were on that ship to realizing you attacked that ship. Which means that, apparently, I'm now the pilot on what's probably the most wanted ship in the system. So I wonder, Captain, what other sorts of jobs am I going to have to perform? Anything that could get me thrown in prison for life or strung up by my neck?"
Jack chortled dismissively. "Miss Burke, you may have only just now noticed, but we're privateers. And since the laws of space change depending on the whims of lawmen and the alignment of the planets, we, almost by definition, do jobs of questionable legality. We're not in the US Navy, so we don't have the luxury of making up the laws by which we want to abide. So if you're suddenly concerned or are getting cold feet that you might have to steal—"
Burke cut him off. "Stealing's not my concern here, Captain. I understand I'll have to do a bit of that. I'm more concerned about murder. I saw at least one dead man on that ship, and I can only imagine what happened to the rest."
And with that, she had hit on something that had been nagging at Jack for almost a month now. As much as he tried to avoid killing, as much as he tried to blame the man with the case, Jack was the one who attacked the fluyt. He was the aggressor and therefore, he was at least partially responsible for spilling their blood. He tried to suppress the sudden guilt he felt. He couldn't understand why he was feeling it so strongly. He'd been dealing in questionable ethics for years now, and hadn't had any trouble sleeping at night. But suddenly, with Burke giving him that accusatory stare, he could no longer suppress his—what did other people call it?—his conscience.
He couldn't bring himself to look back at her, so instead as he spoke, he stared out the windows at the back of his quarters, at the dreadnought, now small in the distance. "Those deaths... were regrettable."
"Oh, regrettable. Is that it? Is that how you see it? Captain, I wonder how regrettable it really was for you. Did you enjoy it? Is that how you get a thrill in this job? Tie a man up, then starve him of air?"
"Regina," he said, looking back at her.
Something softened in her expression. She seemed to notice that it was the very first time he had addressed her by her first name.
He continued. "I know you have no reason to believe me, but I need to tell you anyways. I took every step I could to keep those sailors alive. Didn't you see the marks on the hull? Three clean shots through the sails and one through the cannons. We could have more easily punched a hole through their quarters and killed half the crew before even boarding. I mean, for God's sake, we left their communications untouched so they could call for help."
She relaxed her body language, and while she still looked doubtful, something told Jack that she believed, or at least wanted to. "So then how did those sailors die?"
"The man we were after, the man with the disk, killed them." Jack told her about his near-death experience and how he only just barely managed to get onto his ship before it was stolen.
Regina uncrossed her arms and, but for scowl she was still giving him, seemed at ease. "But you still could have saved them, couldn't you?"
A memory flashed across Jack's eyes. He felt the shudder of his corvette as she powered up; the adrenaline he had felt, fearing his ship was about to be hijacked. He remembered diving into the hold and slamming the aft hatch shut mere moments before she pulled away. And he remember watching through the aft portal as the bodies and cargo were flushed out into the vacuum of space.
"Yes," he finally said. And he felt that a weight had been removed, finally admitting it to himself. "Yes, we could have. But I didn't. All I could think of was meself."
Friday, April 23, 2010
Hanging wi' ma Dogg
Sweet! I'm going to San Francisco and San Diego with Snoop Dogg!
**Begin hilarity**
**Hilarity managed**
Seriously, though, WTF?
**Begin hilarity**
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**Hilarity managed**
Seriously, though, WTF?
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