SPM3DOF is under development...

...as an MMO.





Stay tuned.

Also,

THIS THIS THIS THIS!



A THOUSAND TIMES, THIS!

I am so S-M-R-T

A point I made several months ago has been confirmed by John C. Wright!

Me, on 12/17/09, commenting how I find it odd that the left is so forgiving towards radical Islam, despite that it is anti-sexual revolution.

Mark Shea agreed with this point, and drew the parallel to alliances made against the Real Magisterium. I suppose this makes sense from the diabolical chess point of view—the devil plays his pawns as one team—but not from the human reason point of view. The pawn can't see the whole chess board, so why should he trust the black pawn next to him, who in other circumstances would slit his throat? I mean, it's not like the pawns actually believe there's an all-seeing and all-evil mind behind their moves.

John C. Wright, on 6/25/10, commenting on the left's dog-piling on the new Sex in the City movie for being culturally insensitive.

It must seem a mysterious phenomena to those of you who are economically conservative and culturally liberal, Objectivists and so on, that the wing of the Leftist part who seems to agree with your basic “Government cannot legislate morality” stance. So why are your ex-allies siding with the Paynim over the Swingers? The answer cannot be given in your world view, since your model of the universe does not admit of the entities necessary to explain the facts. To my co-religionists, I will merely drop the hint that the sexual revolution cannot do any further major damage to the Church, its work is done, and therefore the Dark Lord who rules this world of sorrow has dropped this weapon and now picks up a new one, called Radical Islam in one hand, and Multiculturalism in the other.

As I said, S-M-R-T.

The Official Rankings (IMHO)

1. Anthropomorphic Superheroes
2. Anthropomorphic Monsters
3. Anthropomorphic Robots
4. Anthropomorphic Old Guys, Dogs, and Boyscout
5. Anthropomorphic Cars
6. Anthropomorphic Rats
7. Anthropomorphic Fish
8. Anthropomorphic Toys (again)
9. Anthropomorphic Toys (third time)
10. Anthropomorphic Bugs
11. Anthropomorphic Toys

Babby Manual

Thank you for purchasing one (1) standard issue babby. During the course of normal babby operation, it is expected that the batteries may die. In this circumstance, please follow these simple instructions to change babby's batteries.

You will need the following items:
1x ¼" Phillips head screwdriver
2x AA batteries (not included)
1x Monkey wrench
1x Monkey
2x Plutonium reactor cores
47x Ginger-headed sailors
1x Hyper-electronic transducent geoplasmic nodal collectomizer

1. Use the screwdriver to remove the two screws on babby's back.
2. Remove the rear panel.
3. If you wish to reset babby to factory defaults, slide the Mode Selector Switch from "Play" to "Demo".
4. Insert screwdriver in reset button slot and hold for 5 seconds. Warning! Do not hold button for more than 5 seconds. Doing so could cause your babby to switch to Spanish Language mode.
5. Throw the bone.
6. While holding a rose between teeth and dancing the tango, apply lubricant to bearing "F" in diagram B-2332-54.
7. Release penguins.
8. Use duck caller to signal violists to begin slow movement.
9. Use towel with hobgoblin.
10. Insert fork a in electric socket b.
11. Slap your partner in the face, write bad checks all over the place, dosey-do.
12. Gently replace rear panel and tighten screws.

Congratulations, your babby should now be recharged and ready to go.

I hate all of you

This trailer has been out for THREE DAYS and NONE of you bothered to tell me about it!



Y'know, it's only my second-favorite Narnia book.

You monster.

(Which reminds me of another trailer....)

For realz?

Dear Telltale,

Please find enclosed my second- and third-born children.

Love and kisses,
Joe

P.S. I can has Full Throttle?

The 2010 "Census"

The Murloc and I were "fortunate" enough to receive the American Community Survey questionnaire for the 2010 US "Census". I put census in quotes, because the purpose of a census is to determine how many people live where for the purpose of drawing congressional and legislative districts. Most of the questions on the "census" are completely irrelevant to that purpose, and the information obtained from them would be best used for other purposes such as:
1) Gerrymandering
2) Identity theft
3) Fraud
4) Burglary

To demonstrate this point, let's take a look at some of the questions from the American Community Survey. The Census Bureau claims that these answers are necessary to "distribute resources". See if you can figure out how the following questions will help them do that. But to make it more interesting, I'll include some other random questions that I made up. Let's see if you can tell which ones don't appear on the census.

1. Name
2. Date of birth
3. Are you Hispanic?
4. Social Security Number
5. Highest education level attained
6. Degree 
7. Amount borrowed in student loans
8. Where did you live 1 year ago?
9. Do you have health insurance?
10. How much does your health insurance cost?
11. How much does your homeowner's/renter's insurance cost?
12. Do you rent or own?
13. When was your home built?
14. How many bedrooms does your home have?
15. How many bathrooms does your home have?
16. How much is made annually in the sale of agricultural products from your property?
17. Does your home have a garbage disposal?
18. Does your home have a flush toilet?
19. Does your home have a refrigerator?
20. Do you use a gasoline lawn mower at your home?
21. How many cars do you have at home?
22. What was your electricity bill last month?
23. What was your telephone bill last month (including cellular, mobile, and other non-landlines)?
24. What was your heating bill over the last year?
25. How much are your HOA fees?
26. What is your home's value?
27. What is your monthly mortgage payment?
28. Do you have difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions?
29. Are you blind?
30. Do you have difficulty filling out forms?
31. Do you have difficulty dressing yourself?
32. How many times have you been married?
33. What year were you last married?
34. What year were you last divorced?
35. Do you have minor grandchildren living with you?
36. How long have you been the primary care giver of your minor grandchildren?
37. How many minor grandchildren are you responsible for?
38. If you served in the armed forces, during what era/wars did you serve?
39. Do you have a VA service-connected disability rating?
40. Were you wounded in combat?
41. What is your employer's name?
42. What is your employer's address?
43. What is your employer's industry?
44. How many people (approximate) are employed by your employer?
45. What time do you leave for work?
46. What is the approximate cost of jewelry and electronics in your house?
47. How do you get to work?
48. What time do you return from work?
49. How many hours did you work last week?
50. What was your gross salary last year, including wages, tips, commission, and bonuses from all jobs?

Were you able to figure out what questions the government "needs" to know to "distribute resources" in your area? Here are the question numbers that I made up:

4, 7, 10, 15, 17, 20, 23, 30, 34, 37, 40, 44, 46, 48.

Yes, the Census Bureau seriously, with a straight face, asks if you have a flush toilet. I guess to, um, distribute toilet resources? They also seriously want to know when you leave for work. I guess so they know the best time to come by and ransack your house, looking for valuables.

So, my readers are all extremely smart and clever, and since I'm so dumb and un-clever, I'm sure you all will be able to enlighten me and help me understand why the Census Bureau needs to know all these things. Because, I mean, the government wouldn't ask unless it was important, right? And considering that in 2006, the Census Bureau lost several laptops filled with personal information, they wouldn't risk my extremely private personal information unless it was really, really important to have, right?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Lauda Sion

Sion, lift up thy voice and sing:
Praise thy Savior and thy King,
Praise with hymns thy shepherd true.

All thou canst, do thou endeavour:
Yet thy praise can equal never
Such as merits thy great King.

See today before us laid
The living and life-giving Bread,
Theme for praise and joy profound.

The same which at the sacred board
Was, by our incarnate Lord,
Giv'n to His Apostles round.

Let the praise be loud and high:
Sweet and tranquil be the joy
Felt today in every breast.

On this festival divine
Which records the origin
Of the glorious Eucharist.

On this table of the King,
Our new Paschal offering
Brings to end the olden rite.

Here, for empty shadows fled,
Is reality instead,
Here, instead of darkness, light.

His own act, at supper seated
Christ ordain'd to be repeated
In His memory divine;

Wherefore now, with adoration,
We, the host of our salvation,
Consecrate from bread and wine.

Hear, what holy Church maintaineth,
That the bread its substance changeth
Into Flesh, the wine to Blood.

Doth it pass thy comprehending?
Faith, the law of sight transcending
Leaps to things not understood.

Here beneath these signs are hidden
Priceless things, to sense forbidden,
Signs, not things, are all we see.

Flesh from bread, and Blood from wine,
Yet is Christ in either sign,
All entire, confessed to be.

They, who of Him here partake,
Sever not, nor rend, nor break:
But, entire, their Lord receive.

Whether one or thousands eat:
All receive the self-same meat:
Nor the less for others leave.

Both the wicked and the good
Eat of this celestial Food:
But with ends how opposite!

Here 't is life: and there 't is death:
The same, yet issuing to each
In a difference infinite.

Nor a single doubt retain,
When they break the Host in twain,
But that in each part remains
What was in the whole before.

Since the simple sign alone
Suffers change in state or form:
The signified remaining one
And the same for evermore.

Lo! bread of the Angels broken,
For us pilgrims food, and token
Of the promise by Christ spoken,
Children’s meat, to dogs denied.

Shewn in Isaac's dedication,
In the manna's preparation:
In the Paschal immolation,
In old types pre-signified.

Jesu, shepherd of the sheep:
Thou thy flock in safety keep,
Living bread, thy life supply:
Strengthen us, or else we die,
Fill us with celestial grace.

Thou, who feedest us below:
Source of all we have or know:
Grant that with Thy Saints above,
Sitting at the feast of love,
We may see Thee face to face.
Amen. Alleluia.

~St. Thomas Aquinas, for the feast of Corpus Christi, 1264

For those who want to hear the chant in Latin.



At St. John's today, it was sung by the cantress with the angelic voice, so imagine that, except higher and more beautiful.