1) Gerrymandering
2) Identity theft
3) Fraud
4) Burglary
To demonstrate this point, let's take a look at some of the questions from the American Community Survey. The Census Bureau claims that these answers are necessary to "distribute resources". See if you can figure out how the following questions will help them do that. But to make it more interesting, I'll include some other random questions that I made up. Let's see if you can tell which ones don't appear on the census.
- Name
- Date of birth
- Are you Hispanic?
- Social Security Number
- Highest education level attained
- Degree
- Amount borrowed in student loans
- Where did you live 1 year ago?
- Do you have health insurance?
- How much does your health insurance cost?
- How much does your homeowner's/renter's insurance cost?
- Do you rent or own?
- When was your home built?
- How many bedrooms does your home have?
- How many bathrooms does your home have?
- How much is made annually in the sale of agricultural products from your property?
- Does your home have a garbage disposal?
- Does your home have a flush toilet?
- Does your home have a refrigerator?
- Do you use a gasoline lawn mower at your home?
- How many cars do you have at home?
- What was your electricity bill last month?
- What was your telephone bill last month (including cellular, mobile, and other non-landlines)?
- What was your heating bill over the last year?
- How much are your HOA fees?
- What is your home's value?
- What is your monthly mortgage payment?
- Do you have difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions?
- Are you blind?
- Do you have difficulty filling out forms?
- Do you have difficulty dressing yourself?
- How many times have you been married?
- What year were you last married?
- What year were you last divorced?
- Do you have minor grandchildren living with you?
- How long have you been the primary care giver of your minor grandchildren?
- How many minor grandchildren are you responsible for?
- If you served in the armed forces, during what era/wars did you serve?
- Do you have a VA service-connected disability rating?
- Were you wounded in combat?
- What is your employer's name?
- What is your employer's address?
- What is your employer's industry?
- How many people (approximate) are employed by your employer?
- What time do you leave for work?
- What is the approximate cost of jewelry and electronics in your house?
- How do you get to work?
- What time do you return from work?
- How many hours did you work last week?
- What was your gross salary last year, including wages, tips, commission, and bonuses from all jobs?
Were you able to figure out what questions the government "needs" to know to "distribute resources" in your area? Here are the question numbers that I made up:
4, 7, 10, 15, 17, 20, 23, 30, 34, 37, 40, 44, 46, 48.
Yes, the Census Bureau seriously, with a straight face, asks if you have a flush toilet. I guess to, um, distribute toilet resources? They also seriously want to know when you leave for work. I guess so they know the best time to come by and ransack your house, looking for valuables.
So, my readers are all extremely smart and clever, and since I'm so dumb and un-clever, I'm sure you all will be able to enlighten me and help me understand why the Census Bureau needs to know all these things. Because, I mean, the government wouldn't ask unless it was important, right? And considering that in 2006, the Census Bureau lost several laptops filled with personal information, they wouldn't risk my extremely private personal information unless it was really, really important to have, right?
