All Hail the Wisdom of IMDB

(pardon the terrible MSPaint JPEG conversion)

Some biting hollywood commentary from the Internet Movie Database?

Man Awakes to Find Beached Whale in Bed

In a 911 call that made eyebrow-raising history, Sam Burud informed a skeptical operator that he had awakened to find a beached whale in his bed. His wife was nowhere to be found, and he suspected that the beluga had ingested her. Burud was completely oblivious as to how the marine creature had found its way into his sleeping quarters, but requested its immediate removal. Thinking the man was delusional or “under the influence,” the operator hesitated to send a squad car out to the house. A few minutes later, the man called back to inform the emergency personnel that he had mistaken his 8-month pregnant wife for a whale. Mrs. Burud declined to comment, perhaps because she could not make her way to the telephone. However, the couch (sans pillows) that appeared outside in the back yard did not escape the notice of our news crews. It appears that Burud will be spending his nights there for quite some time to come. However, Burud encourages his wife to look on the bright side: "At least her gestation period is not 14-16 months long, and our baby will hopefully weigh nowhere near 80-125 lbs. There are advantages to not being a beluga..." It is our opinion that there are also advantages to not mistaking your wife for one.

More from the Department for Studying the Obvious.

Teen Exposure to Sex in Media Leads to Intercourse, Study Says

Duuuuuuh.

Key quote: "Media is a powerful sex educator, but not always in the best interest of children," Brown said. "'Desperate Housewives' could use condoms. Why not? On reality programs, let's get real. People do use condoms. What's missing in the media are the three Cs. Rarely is there a commitment, contraceptives or consequences."

So who cares if watching Desperate Housewives leads 14-year-olds to have sex. The important thing is that it teaches them to have safe sex.

From True Facts About Jack Bauer.
(Mandatory mature content warning)

"Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer."

Apparently, some can fool Mrs. Pickles. :-P

Poll of the Day/Week/Month.

The Post From a Non-existant Time.

Present day, online. A blogger is up early in the morning on the first Sunday of April. He back-dates a post, not realizing the chosen date and time doesn't actually exist. By doing this he inadvertantly opens up a portal and is sucked through into... the Twilight Zone.

Stoopid blogger ruining the joke by not allowing any posts to be back-dated to between 1:59am and 3:00am. Stoopid stoopid stoopid.

Warm, Purring Kittens.

Nature's vibrating heating pads. Good for stummy aches.



Speaking of kittens, our little Bastet is growing up and becoming a queen. She's currently in heat. We know this because she spends most of the time cooing, rolling around on the floor, rubbing against objects, "assuming the position," and doing other things that I'm sure would be very provocative for a boy cat. We've temporarily changed her name from "the sniffy one" to "the horny one."

Speaking of fertility, Rie hasn't been feeling well recently so she went to the doctor, thinking it would be another infection or something. It wasn't. She's pregnant.