A: Tape a string to an oscillating fan.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Why Google Pwns.
Ok, let's get this out of the way. I love Google. I would marry it if it were a woman. I would run their operating system if they would write one that would run in Firefox.
So I finally had a chance to use Google talk. Let's review why this is better than whatever crappy IM program you're using now.
Let's take a look at a standard idiotic IM program, such as MSN Messenger:
Any monkey with a banana can see that this is crap. (Studies have shown that banana-less monkeys may have trouble differentiating crap from non-crap.)
Now let's take a look at Google Talk.
Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. No crappiness. All I want is a program that lets me chat online and that's exactly what they give me. It uses the Jurassic Park III philosophy of content*.
Oh, and look! Chats are automatically saved to your Google account, for easy NSA/CSI/CTU review!
So in short, Google is teh_pwnerer.
*Jurassic Park III operated on the premise that the only reason you were at the theater was to see dinosaurs eating people, so the movie got you to that point as quickly as possible, then ended when it was done with that. It did not waste time on stupid things such as story, exposition, or wrap-up.
Ok, let's get this out of the way. I love Google. I would marry it if it were a woman. I would run their operating system if they would write one that would run in Firefox.
So I finally had a chance to use Google talk. Let's review why this is better than whatever crappy IM program you're using now.
Let's take a look at a standard idiotic IM program, such as MSN Messenger:
Any monkey with a banana can see that this is crap. (Studies have shown that banana-less monkeys may have trouble differentiating crap from non-crap.)
Now let's take a look at Google Talk.
Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. No crappiness. All I want is a program that lets me chat online and that's exactly what they give me. It uses the Jurassic Park III philosophy of content*.
Oh, and look! Chats are automatically saved to your Google account, for easy NSA/CSI/CTU review!
So in short, Google is teh_pwnerer.
*Jurassic Park III operated on the premise that the only reason you were at the theater was to see dinosaurs eating people, so the movie got you to that point as quickly as possible, then ended when it was done with that. It did not waste time on stupid things such as story, exposition, or wrap-up.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Best. DOD Game. Ever.
Map was dod_anzio. My best record during that game was early on, where I was 43:10. I would also like to point out that, while we won a lot, the Allies were not inept. They actually had a higher score, which indicates that they held a majority of the flags for a longer period of time (when we got three flags, the last two usually weren't long to follow, but they usually started out with the lead, giving us an uphill battle). Also, the Allies steamrolled us the first two times, yet I still had a 4.3:1 record after our team was soundly beaten.
In lay man's terms, I pwn.
Map was dod_anzio. My best record during that game was early on, where I was 43:10. I would also like to point out that, while we won a lot, the Allies were not inept. They actually had a higher score, which indicates that they held a majority of the flags for a longer period of time (when we got three flags, the last two usually weren't long to follow, but they usually started out with the lead, giving us an uphill battle). Also, the Allies steamrolled us the first two times, yet I still had a 4.3:1 record after our team was soundly beaten.
In lay man's terms, I pwn.
True Story.
So we (Rie, Tine, Audra, Mikey (Audra's Smizmar), Britt (aviation photographer friend), and Me) were all at Goofy's Kitchen last night. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's a restaurant at the Disneyland Hotel where you pay exhorbatant prices for mediocre food and in return, Disney characters will come around to your table and harass you. Occasionally, they get all the children in the restaurant to come to the center and do annoying things with the characters, such as bang plastic pots and pans together, or do the macarena.
So anyways, we were pondering on a Disney Trivia question that Audra had been asked once: how many Disney Princesses were born Princesses (as opposed to obtaining the title by marriage) and who are they? Alledgedly, there are nine, but we could only come up with seven, (Aurora from Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, the Princess from Atlantis, Princess Tigerlily from Peter Pan, (and by the same token) Pocohontas, Jasmine, and another one whom I can't remember; debate raged over whether Princess Ada from A Bug's Life could be counted). So we were pondering over this, when Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, came by our table. Audra asked her if she knew. She replied "Hm. I know I'm not one of them. Technically, I'm not really a princess, even though I'm marketed that way."
We all thought that was funny.
If you didn't then screw you. You had to be there.
So we (Rie, Tine, Audra, Mikey (Audra's Smizmar), Britt (aviation photographer friend), and Me) were all at Goofy's Kitchen last night. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's a restaurant at the Disneyland Hotel where you pay exhorbatant prices for mediocre food and in return, Disney characters will come around to your table and harass you. Occasionally, they get all the children in the restaurant to come to the center and do annoying things with the characters, such as bang plastic pots and pans together, or do the macarena.
So anyways, we were pondering on a Disney Trivia question that Audra had been asked once: how many Disney Princesses were born Princesses (as opposed to obtaining the title by marriage) and who are they? Alledgedly, there are nine, but we could only come up with seven, (Aurora from Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, the Princess from Atlantis, Princess Tigerlily from Peter Pan, (and by the same token) Pocohontas, Jasmine, and another one whom I can't remember; debate raged over whether Princess Ada from A Bug's Life could be counted). So we were pondering over this, when Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, came by our table. Audra asked her if she knew. She replied "Hm. I know I'm not one of them. Technically, I'm not really a princess, even though I'm marketed that way."
We all thought that was funny.
If you didn't then screw you. You had to be there.
Another Airplane Flight, Another Opportunity to Watch Cra- Wait! Some of These Were Actually Somewhat Good!.
Flight out:
Æon Flux: 6.5
Ok, firstly, it's pronounced Eon Flux, not Ayon or Ion. It's like the æ in encylopædia. As for the movie, it's your pretty generic futuristic sci-fi flick. Evil government. Band of rebels opposing government. Hot sci-fi babes, etc. The plot sort of grabbed my attention, and I ended up being more interested in it than the in-flight magazine, so it's good in my book.
At the Hotel:
Titanic
Oh, gosh no! Make it stop! Change the channel! Change the channel! Unfortunately, I didn't turn it back in time to see Leo die. That part made me cry tears of joy.
Return trip:
At Atlanta airport:
Serenity: 9.5
What does one do when one has a three-hour layover, a laptop, and a DVD of one's recently most favorite movie? Why one watches said movie of course. I've mentioned Firefly/Serenity a couple times so far and have been meaning to write about it here for a while now, so this seems like as good a time as any.
From September to December 2002, FOX network aired a TV show called Firefly, which was created by a man named Joss Whedon, most well known for the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The show had an interesting premise and can best be described as a "Space Western". After airing only 11 episodes (of 14 made), FOX pulled the plug, due to low ratings. The reasons for the low ratings are debated, but the argument most favored by the fans of the show is that FOX chose not to air the pilot, which served as an introduction to the series and the nine main characters. By not showing the pilot episode, it made the show harder to get into, the fans argue.
Regardless of the reasons for cancellation, it should have died then. However, it is said of Joss Whedon that he can create a cult with the same expidition another would write a letter*. In its three short months of life, Firefly managed to build up a loyal fan base who did not want to see their show slip silently into the night.
In December 2003, Firefly was released on DVD and after excellent sales, (500,000 copies as of September 2005; source), Universal picked up the rights to produce a movie, which was titled Serenity. The movie was released in September of 2005 and grossed $38.8m, just shy of its $39m budget (it has, however, made up the rest of that money in DVD sales, with over $9m in sales as of January 2006).
All this happened completely outside of my knowledge. I don't know why I wasn't aware of the show, but when I try to think back to September 2002, all I remember is a big blur of "Day of Defeat" and living off-campus in Steubie. When Serenity was released, I remember being vaguely aware of it and having seen the trailer, but not knowning anything about it somehow I missed out. And now I have to say, I feel cheated.
I finally broke down and rented Serenity after reading numerous positive remarks from m a n y other geeks and nerds (when the movie came out, some of Rie's Blizzard cow-orkers skipped work to see it). Rie and I liked it so much that the next day, I bought the DVDs of Firefly and Serenity. As Rie and I went through Firefly, I tried to pace ourselves and only watch a couple episodes a night, but that didn't work out and over the next three nights we went through all 14 episodes (imagine, something that actually distracted us from playing Warcraft).
I've watched Serenity twice more since (most recently at the Atlanta airport), and I like it more each time. I think the main appeal is a combination of excellent writing, witty dialogue, interesting characters, and a fascinating premise. I know Rie was hooked from the opening credits of the show, the last shot of which is the ship Serenity buzzing a heard of horses. I mean, how can it get any cooler for a nerdy girl than horses and space ships?
So anyways, Serenity comes with highest recommendations. It's not necessary that you see Firefly first, but it will only add to the enjoyment.
Return Flight:
The Family Stone.
Don't know, don't care. I only got as far as the name "Sarah Jessica Parker" in the description before deciding I couldn't care less about it. Not that I could have watched it even if I wanted to, as the audio equipment at my seat wasn't working. Which was a real shame, too, because I desperately needed something to drown out the constant loud, obnoxious yammering of the other people in my row. Those other people seemed to be afflicted with a rare condition that makes them act completely drunk even with no alcohol in their blood. They were also quite oblivious, too. I mean, maybe it's just me, but if the person sitting next to me on a flight stuffs Kleenex in his ears, puts a cap on, and pulls his hood tightly over his head, then covers his ears with his hands, it sorta might be a clue to me that I'm being TOO FREAKING LOUD! Then again, I'm not an idiot.
*Originally a quote from Handel, saying of Georg Philipp Telemann that he "could write a church piece in eight parts with the same expedition another would write a letter."
Flight out:
Æon Flux: 6.5
Ok, firstly, it's pronounced Eon Flux, not Ayon or Ion. It's like the æ in encylopædia. As for the movie, it's your pretty generic futuristic sci-fi flick. Evil government. Band of rebels opposing government. Hot sci-fi babes, etc. The plot sort of grabbed my attention, and I ended up being more interested in it than the in-flight magazine, so it's good in my book.
At the Hotel:
Titanic
Oh, gosh no! Make it stop! Change the channel! Change the channel!
Return trip:
At Atlanta airport:
Serenity: 9.5
What does one do when one has a three-hour layover, a laptop, and a DVD of one's recently most favorite movie? Why one watches said movie of course. I've mentioned Firefly/Serenity a couple times so far and have been meaning to write about it here for a while now, so this seems like as good a time as any.
From September to December 2002, FOX network aired a TV show called Firefly, which was created by a man named Joss Whedon, most well known for the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The show had an interesting premise and can best be described as a "Space Western". After airing only 11 episodes (of 14 made), FOX pulled the plug, due to low ratings. The reasons for the low ratings are debated, but the argument most favored by the fans of the show is that FOX chose not to air the pilot, which served as an introduction to the series and the nine main characters. By not showing the pilot episode, it made the show harder to get into, the fans argue.
Regardless of the reasons for cancellation, it should have died then. However, it is said of Joss Whedon that he can create a cult with the same expidition another would write a letter*. In its three short months of life, Firefly managed to build up a loyal fan base who did not want to see their show slip silently into the night.
In December 2003, Firefly was released on DVD and after excellent sales, (500,000 copies as of September 2005; source), Universal picked up the rights to produce a movie, which was titled Serenity. The movie was released in September of 2005 and grossed $38.8m, just shy of its $39m budget (it has, however, made up the rest of that money in DVD sales, with over $9m in sales as of January 2006).
All this happened completely outside of my knowledge. I don't know why I wasn't aware of the show, but when I try to think back to September 2002, all I remember is a big blur of "Day of Defeat" and living off-campus in Steubie. When Serenity was released, I remember being vaguely aware of it and having seen the trailer, but not knowning anything about it somehow I missed out. And now I have to say, I feel cheated.
I finally broke down and rented Serenity after reading numerous positive remarks from m a n y other geeks and nerds (when the movie came out, some of Rie's Blizzard cow-orkers skipped work to see it). Rie and I liked it so much that the next day, I bought the DVDs of Firefly and Serenity. As Rie and I went through Firefly, I tried to pace ourselves and only watch a couple episodes a night, but that didn't work out and over the next three nights we went through all 14 episodes (imagine, something that actually distracted us from playing Warcraft).
I've watched Serenity twice more since (most recently at the Atlanta airport), and I like it more each time. I think the main appeal is a combination of excellent writing, witty dialogue, interesting characters, and a fascinating premise. I know Rie was hooked from the opening credits of the show, the last shot of which is the ship Serenity buzzing a heard of horses. I mean, how can it get any cooler for a nerdy girl than horses and space ships?
So anyways, Serenity comes with highest recommendations. It's not necessary that you see Firefly first, but it will only add to the enjoyment.
Return Flight:
The Family Stone.
Don't know, don't care. I only got as far as the name "Sarah Jessica Parker" in the description before deciding I couldn't care less about it. Not that I could have watched it even if I wanted to, as the audio equipment at my seat wasn't working. Which was a real shame, too, because I desperately needed something to drown out the constant loud, obnoxious yammering of the other people in my row. Those other people seemed to be afflicted with a rare condition that makes them act completely drunk even with no alcohol in their blood. They were also quite oblivious, too. I mean, maybe it's just me, but if the person sitting next to me on a flight stuffs Kleenex in his ears, puts a cap on, and pulls his hood tightly over his head, then covers his ears with his hands, it sorta might be a clue to me that I'm being TOO FREAKING LOUD! Then again, I'm not an idiot.
*Originally a quote from Handel, saying of Georg Philipp Telemann that he "could write a church piece in eight parts with the same expedition another would write a letter."
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Top 10h Signs You've Been Watching Too Much Futurama.
10. You start all conversations with "Good news, everyone."
F. All your exclamations are of the form "Sweet (someone) of (someplace)!"
E. You challenge random passers-by to "bite your shiny metal ---."
D. You ask random passers-by to please insert girder.
C. You hate it when people quote you regulations. You co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the colour of the book the regulations are in. You kept it grey.
B. You changed your bank PIN to 1077. The same price as a cheese pizza and a large soda.
A. You calls 'em like you sees 'em cause you're a whale biologist.
9. After a bad spill, if someone asks if you've broken any bones, you tell them you don't have any bones, but instead are supported by a system of liquid-filled bladders.
8. You refer to your significant other as your "smizmar".
7. You made a hypothetical deal with the devil, and by "devil" I mean "robot devil" and by "hypothetical" I mean "get your coat".
6. Your standard greeting is "WELCOME! To the FUTURE!"
5b (women). Your parents demand to know why your boyfriend isn't present and fathering their grandchildren right now.
5a (men). You find women with one eye sexy.
4. You have used "buh", "fuh", "guh", or "sluh" in a sentence (correct usage is in place of "duh").
3. You no longer say "ask" or "Christmas" but instead use the more futuristicly-correct "axe" and "X-mas".
2. You e-mail your brother with Futurama quotes to be used for the tagline on his blog.
1. You use your brother's recommended Futurama quotes as the tagline and a headline on your blog.
10. You start all conversations with "Good news, everyone."
F. All your exclamations are of the form "Sweet (someone) of (someplace)!"
E. You challenge random passers-by to "bite your shiny metal ---."
D. You ask random passers-by to please insert girder.
C. You hate it when people quote you regulations. You co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the colour of the book the regulations are in. You kept it grey.
B. You changed your bank PIN to 1077. The same price as a cheese pizza and a large soda.
A. You calls 'em like you sees 'em cause you're a whale biologist.
9. After a bad spill, if someone asks if you've broken any bones, you tell them you don't have any bones, but instead are supported by a system of liquid-filled bladders.
8. You refer to your significant other as your "smizmar".
7. You made a hypothetical deal with the devil, and by "devil" I mean "robot devil" and by "hypothetical" I mean "get your coat".
6. Your standard greeting is "WELCOME! To the FUTURE!"
5b (women). Your parents demand to know why your boyfriend isn't present and fathering their grandchildren right now.
5a (men). You find women with one eye sexy.
4. You have used "buh", "fuh", "guh", or "sluh" in a sentence (correct usage is in place of "duh").
3. You no longer say "ask" or "Christmas" but instead use the more futuristicly-correct "axe" and "X-mas".
2. You e-mail your brother with Futurama quotes to be used for the tagline on his blog.
1. You use your brother's recommended Futurama quotes as the tagline and a headline on your blog.
Area Man Thinks Availability Simulation Is Freakin' Sweet When Used To Model the Availability of Systems on an Arleigh Burke Class AEGIS Destroyer.
BATH, MAINE - According to sources close to him, area man Joe Belland thinks Monte Carlo Simulation is the "bee's knees", when used to model the availability of various systems and sub-systems on board an Arleigh Burke-class Guided Missile Destroyer, such as the USS Farragut, (DDG-99). During a recent training session, Belland was reported to state "and as you can see, we can create the structure we need, export it to Excel, and populate it with- y'know, this is almost as cool as using Fault Tree analysis to model the reliability of an AH-64D Apache."
Belland later stated that "Monte Carlo Simulation is far more interesting than watching a faucet drip."
BATH, MAINE - According to sources close to him, area man Joe Belland thinks Monte Carlo Simulation is the "bee's knees", when used to model the availability of various systems and sub-systems on board an Arleigh Burke-class Guided Missile Destroyer, such as the USS Farragut, (DDG-99). During a recent training session, Belland was reported to state "and as you can see, we can create the structure we need, export it to Excel, and populate it with- y'know, this is almost as cool as using Fault Tree analysis to model the reliability of an AH-64D Apache."
Belland later stated that "Monte Carlo Simulation is far more interesting than watching a faucet drip."
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