Iraqi Dictator Cleared of Any Wrongdoing

Confusion over Saddam's name lead to belief he was involved in Terrorism



WASHINGTON, D.C. - Following a campaign spearheaded by Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democrat Presidential hopeful John Kerry, Saddam Hussein, dictator of Iraq, has been cleared of any allegations of connections to terrorism.



"I always knew that Saddam had nothing to do with terrorism, nothing!" Heinz Kerry said. "And now, thanks to this investigation, all the confusion has been cleared up. You see, Saddam Hussein, dictator of Iraq, wasn't the one giving $25,000 to families of Palestinian suicide bombers. As it turns out, it was a Mr. Saddam Hussein of Palestine, Texas that was giving them the money." According to Heinz Kerry, some phone books list them right next to each other, "so if your eyes accidentally jump a line when looking from the name to the address, it could be really easy to confuse the two."



Heinz Kerry used her vast wealth to fund a search to look into who was funding the Palestinian suicide bombers. She says she knew from the beginning it wasn't the dictator of Iraq. She just needed to prove that to the rest of the world. After months of searching, the well-funded team of researchers discovered that the money going to the suicide bombers was actually coming from within the United States. A few weeks later, and the donor had been discovered to be Saddam Hussein of Palestine, TX.



Shortly after news of the findings broke, Saddam Hussein was released from prison in an undiscolsed location in Iraq, as there was no longer anything to hold against him. When asked what he would do next, the former dictator said "I here France is looking for a non-terrorist dictator, so I'm going to check them out and see if I can grab power in a bloody coup there."

Saddam Hussein of Palestine, Texas, whose giving of money to the families of Palestinian suicide bombers lead to the confusion about the dictator of Iraq being involved in terrorism.