Archiving

This post is mainly an archive for myself, in case I ever remember that one thing I wrote (remember that one thing?) and I want to reference back to it, but I can't find it in my archives because Blogger's search is so awful and oh, that's right, I didn't write it on my blog but in the comments of another blog and oh gosh, I have no idea which blog it was and have no idea how to find it and am I really going to have to search the entire internet for it hey this is boring let's play WoW.

DEAR FUTURE SELF: YOU DIDN'T WRITE THAT COMMENT HERE. IT WAS ON BAD CATHOLIC. (Bad Catholic, of course, being the blog of Marc Barnes, that Alma Mater-attending kid whose wit and wisdom I want to have when I grow up, and who is described by this blog's other favorite writer as "wise beyond his 18 years upon this earth.")

Anywho, since I'm archiving this in a public place, I might as well let you in on the joke so you can follow along.

Marc recently wrote a piece against the heretic Christina Pesoli (whose last name is at the very bottom of the last name uncanny valley), who wrote at HuffPo about why she was hoping for a schism. In the comments, one well-intentioned but clueless commentor wrote the following:

I wonder if you have ever had a moment to sit back and think about exactly what it would feel like to be a woman in the Catholic church. Like a man, you have two vocational options: marriage or service (or single life, but that never feels like a real choice). Let's follow your life path if you choose marriage: you hope to find someone who believes the same things you do, but for goodness sake you better attract him in a holy way! Feminine but not slutty. Sexy but modest. Pretty, but don't try so hard ok? Then when you find him, despite whatever place you are in your own career, you have to immediately start making babies. I mean, you don't HAVE to, but shouldn't a good wife "take care" of her husband? Then here you are, five years later with 3 children and suddenly you can't work anymore and your whole life is consumed with diapers and other peoples laundry and you better LIKE IT BECAUSE IT'S YOUR VOCATION. So you spend your entire adulthood taking care of other people, not once getting a chance to follow one of your own passions or interests, coupled with a constant guilt for being so selfish as to even have a personal passion, that you must not be very good at the Catholic thing. Over and over. Oh woman please, stop complaining, WE "VALUE" YOU so you better deal with all the ****, literal and figurative. Isn't being a woman fun? Doesn't motherhood fulfill you totally? 

Or you could opt to go the other direction and skip the babies to serve the poor as a nun. Then, when you have spent 60 years of your life serving the poor, suddenly the Vatican, the leaders of the Church you love so much, start accusing you of not loving Jesus enough because you are "ignoring" something you thought best to stay out of, it seemed like other people were taking care of it. 

Let's say you are a smart Catholic woman and you think the Church should do something differently. The minute you open your mouth you will be labeled a radical feminist and ridiculed from your brothers and sisters in Christ. 

The Vatican called those who challenged the practice of indulgences in the Middle Ages heretics. We have come to understand.. they were probably right. What good is our 2000 year tradition if we don't learn and grow? Not all traditions are good, (like the problem of reassigning abusive priests and covering up their crimes), so stop drawing on "tradition" and stop name calling the minute someone says, "maybe we need to rethink birth control." 

I go to mass because that's where I meet Jesus. It takes a lot of mental energy to forget about people like you and the woman fearing Vatican leadership, and remember that the Sacrament is what it's all about. No matter how much you **** me off. The one, holy, Catholic and Apostolic church is the Church that brings people closer to Christ. Even women.

This being the internet, and someone being wrong on it, I felt compelled to reply. And, in my totally unbiased, humble, and honest opinion, I though my reply was kinda cool. Then it occurred to me that I might want to reference my reply again in the future, and the idea of having to dig through the entire internet to find it being unappealing, I am reproducing my comment in its entirety here. Also, this is an excellent time to correct my grammar and spelling mistakes.

Future self: you're welcome.

I wonder if you have ever had a moment to sit back and think about exactly what it would feel like to be a human being in the Catholic church. You have exactly one vocational option: service. Serve God, serve the poor, serve your spouse and children. Whatever you do, it's service. Let's follow your life path if you choose to serve a spouse. No matter what, you have to put your spouse ahead of yourself in all things. If you're a woman, you have to submit to your husband's love. If you're a man, you have to love your wife as Christ loves his church. What's that mean? Take a look at a cross sometime. That's the ideal for a Christian husband. That means every time you put yourself before your wife even in the smallest manner, you've committed a sin against her. In everything, she must be first. Want that new video game? Not if it takes you away from her. Thinking about popping a cold one and watching the game on Sunday? Not if it burdens her in any conceivable way. And forget ever asking for sex if she's not in the mood. What horrible beast of a man asks his wife to do something she'd really rather not, purely for his own pleasure? Here comes the frustration for feeling like you're emptying yourself into the marriage and getting nothing in return, coupled with the constant guilt you feel for selfishly even desiring something in return. You must not be a very good Catholic. And there you are, five years later, practically celibate, with three kids and every penny you earn during the day going to support your family and you're a selfish ******* if you complain because SERVICE IS YOUR VOCATION AND YOU WILL LIKE IT. Goodbye to your dreams of traveling the world, getting a motorcycle, or getting that dream job you always wanted that just wouldn't leave you with enough time for your family. Isn't being a Catholic fun? 

Or you could become a priest and swear off sex forever. If you're a diocesan priest, you'll probably make about $20k a year. Religious priest, and you've probably taken a vow of poverty, and don't make anything. And you get to spend your entire life going wherever you're told by your bishop/superior. Just getting settled in that new parish with all the nice folks who like your sermons and the way you say Mass? Nope, now you get reassigned to that semi-heretical parish, where they complain if you utter one word of Latin or even hint at sexual ethics. And forget ever being trusted near children. Doesn't matter that you're less likely to commit abuse than the average man; society sees you as just as guilty as the worst of them. 

Yeah, being Catholic sucks. Maybe you got suckered in by that cute saying that "my yoke is easy and my burden light." Maybe you glossed over that other part about "whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." Dying hurts, you realize. Even if it's just dying to your own selfish desires. 

Then, maybe, you read the life of a saint. Doesn't really matter which one: St. Maximilian Kolbe; Bl. Teresa of Calcutta; St. Theresa of Avila; St. Katherine Drexel; Bl. Miguel Pro; St. Charles Lwanga. You realize that the one thing that all these people have in common is JOY. They radiate it. They exude it. It oozes from them, as if from the pores of their skin. It doesn't matter how hard their life was, how little time they had for themselves, or how bloody and miserable their deaths were. They were happy. 

And finally it hits you. That dream job? That video game? That sex? None of it really was going to make you happy. Sure, they'd be fun for a bit, but none of it would fulfill you in any real way. Only Christ on His cross can do that. The only way you're ever going to be happy is to climb up there with Him, nails and all. Yeah, it's not going to be pretty. Yeah, it's not going to be easy or fun. But was there ever anything worthwhile that was? 

Maybe St. Francis had it right all along: "Above all the graces and gifts of the Holy Spirit which Christ gives to His friends is that of conquering oneself and willingly enduring sufferings, insults, humiliations, and hardships for the love of Christ. For we cannot glory in all those other marvelous gifts of God, as they are not ours but God's, as the Apostle says: 'What have you that you have not received?' But we can glory in the cross of tribulations and afflictions, because that is ours, and so the Apostle says: 'I will not glory save in the Cross of Our Lord Jesus Christ.'"

For those unfamiliar, the quote at the end is from St. Francis' teaching on Perfect Joy.