Saint Anthony Works in Mysterious Ways

So, to accommodate the ever-expanding fam, we have made the move to acquire a means of conveyance suitable for transporting three car seats safely and securely.

In other words, we traded in my beloved G6 (*sniff*) for a minivan. Particularly, we got a swagger wagon, that is, the 2013 Toyota Sienna SE. As is appropriate for this blog, it comes with all the bells and whistles. All of them. All. Of. Them. The car could basically be described as a driving bell and whistles.

Here, I made you a picture.

Some specs:
3.5L V6 DOHC 24-Valve with Dual VVT-i; 266 hp @ 6200 rpm, 245 lb.-ft. @ 4700 rpm.
6-speed electronically-controlled automatic transmission, with intelligence (ECT-i) with manual shift mode.
Sport-tuned electric power steering.
Power-assisted ventilated front and rear disc brakes.
19" 6-spoke alloy wheels.

Compared with the G6:
2005 G6 GT: 3425 lb. curb weight / 202 hp = 16.96 lbs./hp
2013 Sienna SE: 4480 lb. curb weight / 266 hp = 16.84 lbs./hp

So the new car is officially more powerful than the old. And it's definitely more powerful than some dorky Kias that shall remain nameless.

Alas and alack, it is not blue, but a much more neutral "Predawn Gray Mica" with a dark charcoal interior. Le sigh.

Now for the aforementioned Bells and Whistles:

• Remote-activated dual power sliding doors.
• Remote-activated power liftgate.
• Power tilt/slide moonroof.
• 8-way power driver's seat.
• Leatherette/fabric first- and second- row captain chairs, with leatherette third row.
• Three-zone automatic climate control system with individual temperature settings.
• 3.5" multi-info display with current/average mileage, trip timer, miles-to-empty, climate control settings, clock.
• 6.1" touch-screen multi-function display with GPS navigation, integrated back-up camera, AM/FM HD radio, CD player, and music streaming via Bluetooth.
• Hands-free phone capability, phone book access, and advanced voice recognition via Bluetooth. It will even read you your text messages.
• Steering wheel-mounted audio and phone controls.
• USB port with iPod connectivity.
• Blind-spot monitor with rear cross-traffic alert.

Now, one may wonder how much all of this cost. That is cromulent. It cost $(X+Y), where X is a value that we can probably afford and Y is a value that we might not. It remains to be seen if Y is positive and, if so, how positive.

How did this situation come about, you may ask? Well, as it turns out, I am terrible at saying "no" when shiny objects and cool gadgets are involved. I mean, how can you say no to power sliding doors or a touch-screen multi-function display? And, considering every car we've owned, save my college-era Celica has had some sort of roof-opening technology, how could we possibly even consider not getting a moonroof? I mean, what is this, the third world?

Speaking of the third world, one may argue that it would be a better use of one's money to get a more "practical" (read: boring) car and send the extra money to some starving orphan or other undeserving wretch in Dirtpooristan. One could argue that this would be a more Christian and loving use of one's resources than spending quiggly-jiggly thousands of dollars on "useless luxury". One could argue this, yes. But, as we all know, as a husband and father, my job, first and foremost, is to make my wife happy, and since she just couldn't be happy without leather seats or three-zone climate control, I think a better argument is that it's more important, nay, necessary for both my marriage and my eternal salvation that I provide my wife with the essentials she needs for a basic human standard of living, like side-mirror defrosters.

I'm pretty sure that'll fly on judgment day.

* * *

Unable to find babysitting, we took the boys with us to the dealership. While having kids present for trying out cars might be useful, I would not generally recommend having them for the arduous, long, and multi-houred process of actually purchasing the car. Particularly when said process lasts until 11 at night.

Although I must say, the salesman was an angel. While The Murloc and I were signing our life a way (in blood, as is the custom for such documents), he took it upon himself to play with the boys and keep them entertained and happy, despite that it was hours past bedtime and they were delirious with fatigue, by making paper airplanes for them and other sundry fun things.

But at least, if we play this right, this is the last time we'll have to go car shopping for the next 15-20 years. This'll probably be the car that Damien, Anthony, and maybe even #3 take the driving test in. I'm thinking 2030 will be the next time we set foot inside a dealership.

* * *

A few years ago, while preparing for a business trip, I copied a bunch of files onto a USB thumb drive to take with me as a backup, just in case. I threw it into my laptop bag, then put the laptop bag into my car. When I got home from work and started packing, and removed the contents from the bag, the USB drive was nowhere to be found. Being absitively posolutely sure that I had the USB drive when I left work, I figured the only place it could have fallen out was in the trunk of the car on the way home. I tore the car apart searching for it, looking in every niche and crevice of the trunk, to no avail. Since it was only a triple-redundant backup anyways, I just left it and went on my trip.

Periodically, over the months and years following, when the desire for portable storage re-emerged, I'd go back and look through the car for it, but eventually gave up hope of it ever turning up.

On Monday, when we were packing the car to leave for the dealership (and trade in the car), I opened the trunk to stow the diaper bag and sitting right smack in the middle of the trunk was the missing USB drive. After years of packing and unpacking the trunk with grocery bags, boxes, suitcases, diaper bags, sweaters, strollers, pillows, blankets, pack & plays, and small misbehaving children, the USB drive appeared exactly where it had been lost, as if it had sat there undisturbed for years.

I took that as a sign from Saint Anthony that we were meant to trade in the car that day and get a new one.

So, if you're looking for something and can't find it, keep in mind that maybe you won't be able to find it until the time is just right.