Today is March twenty-second, two thousand and seven. Remember that date. You will remember it for ages to come. And you will always remember what you were doing when you heard the news of today.
It is a momentous occasion. Unbelievable in its unlikelihood. Unfathomable in its impossibility. Inconceivable in its, um, inconceivability. I have done what many before me have tried and failed at. I have foiled the evil plots of the traffic planners of the City of Irvine and the County of Orange.
I drove the 2.9 miles from home to work without having to stop for any of the 12 traffic lights on the way.
I have documented this glorious achievement so that others might revel in the wonders of the moment. I'm sure that after studying this image, you too will understand the awesomeness of this day. Spread the news! Bring the glad tidings to the nations!
For I, Joe Belland, have made the commute from home to work in four minutes.
