Facebook Miscellany 1/13 - 1/26

The most important news on the internet: J.J. Abrams to direct Star Wars VII. To me, this is wonderfully good news, as I have enjoyed all the Abrams films I've seen. According to IMDB, "'Argo' director Ben Affleck was also in contention [to direct]." (Insert huge gasp of relief here.)

I think the funniest response I've seen so far has been this one:

Star Wars Episode VII: Revenge of the Lens Flair

A note on why I like him: of the first three Mission Impossible movies, (the ones I've seen), #3 (directed by Abrams) was my favorite, while #2 (directed by John Woo) was an abomination that ought to be fed to the ravenous bug-bladder beast. What is interesting is that, in M:I2, the villain threatened to release a virus that would kill billions, and yet I could not motivate myself to care if the hero succeeded (I was hoping he wouldn't, so the heroine would be forced to throw herself off a cliff). In M:I3, we are never told what  plot the villain is attempting. There is no on-screen threat beyond the hero and his new bride. And yet I cared intensely.

And getting me to care about Tom Cruise is a feat in itself.

On the Ability of Inanimate Objects to Fly when Sprinkled with Pixie Dust in Disney's Jake and the Neverland Pirates

Objection 1: It would seem that flora, fauna, and inanimate objects should not be able to fly when sprinkled with pixie dust, as the second component of the ability to fly is the requirement to "think happy thoughts". Since these things lack an intellect, they thus lack the ability to think of pleasurable things, and ergo cannot fly.

Objection 2: Moreover, the directionality and speed of inanimate objects, if they could fly, would be random and uncontrolled, since the flyer controls his path by thought. An un-thinking object would not fly in a directed or controlled manner, as portrayed in the children's tales.

Objection 3: Moreover, flying by means of pixie dust is akin to witchcraft and therefore not suitable for portrayal in children's tales.

To the contrary, surely it is written "For his own purposes he opens the storehouse and makes the rain clouds fly like vultures."

I answer that,