Dear Internet,

I normally hate criticizing grammar, particularly because I am so prone to mess it up myself. But in this case, I see the incorrect usage more frequently than the correct usage. This has caused me much frustration, and I would appreciate it, Internet, if you would correct your behavior.

The issue:

"Loath" is an adjective meaning "reluctant" or "unwilling", such as in "I am loath to use that word correctly." It ends in a hard "th" and rhymes with "both".

"Loathe" is a transitive verb meaning "despise". The connotation is one of intense hatred, as in "I loathe using that word correctly." It ends in a soft "th" and rhymes with "clothe".

Now you know and, as they say, knowing is half the battle. Please correct your usage of these words immediately and stop saying that your are *shudder* "loathe" to do something. You cannot be "loathe". You can loathe and you can be loath.

Internet, this constitutes your first and only warning. From now on, every time you misuse these words, I shall strangle a bunny. You have been warned.

Sincerely,
Me

P.S. For more common errors to avoid, see here.

*Twitch Twitch*

*shudder*

Ok, so if someone is talking about multiple people, and accidentally uses a plural pronoun where a singular one should be used, such as in the sentence "everyone went to the store and bought themselves a ham," I can forgive him. I would politely correct the usage, so long as it is approriate to do so, but the offense can be forgiven.

(If, however, the misusage is intentional, because he believes that the English language is sexist, and is trying to affect a grammatical revolution, then he can be cast in the Pit of Despair for all I care. We won't go into that, as my thoughts on this topic have been made abundantly clear.)

But, verily, when you use a plural pronoun when you are talking about one singular person, there is no word in elvish, entish, or the tongues of men for your stupidity.

To wit:

"This is Shirley Lin, who seems like they [sic] might be a girlfriend of Zedadias’"

There is only one rational reaction to this grammatical mangling: scream like Wilhelm.

(Irony of ironies, the first sentence of this post originally ended "I can forgive them". You guys never would have let me live that one down if that made it to press.)