Friday, December 23, 2005

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Pokemon Causes Cancer!

Well, I suppose more specifically, the POK erythroid myeloid ontogenic gene causes cancer.

Read what Pikachu has to say about it.
12,000 UAW Workers Plan Strike
Will sit around doing nothing, as usual

Thousands of United Auto Worker members at job banks around the country are planning to strike against unfair wages, poor non-working conditions, and threats of outsourcing. Unless the Big Five Auto manufacturers (GM, Ford, Chrysler, Delphi, and Visteon) immediately agree to the non-workers' demands, the union members plan to go on strike.

"We'll play crossword puzzles, watch videos that someone brings in or read the newspaper," threatened one UAW member. "Basically we'll do the same thing we do every day, except we'll be on strike."

The UAW members are complaining that the average $26/hour that they're making doesn't adequately cover the hardships of their non-jobs. "It's hard work to sit around for 8 hours a day, doing nothing," said a representative of the employees. "The mental fatigue caused by the boredom of it all is not an easy thing to cope with. Plus, our health care costs are rising with the increased cost of blood clots from sitting down doing nothing all day." In addition to pay increases, the union is demanding that the Big Five manufacturers improve the quality of the job banks, citing such inadequacies as uncomfortable, hard plastic chairs, flickering flourescent lighting, and sub-par non-high-definition televisions in the job banks.

But perhaps the biggest issue for the workers is the rumor that GM and Ford are in talks to out-source their job banks to China. "What sort of way is that to treat your non-workers?" demanded one angry UAW member. "They think that just because they can pay someone in China 56¢/hour to sit around doing nothing they can get away with it. Well, I say they need to stop taking non-jobs away from non-working Americans!" Officials at GM and Ford have refused to comment on the matter of outsourcing.

The Big Five have made an offer to the UAW members that includes compromising on a number of issues. The offer includes a 5% pay increase over 12 months, factory-supplied cushions for the job bank chairs, and the promise that no existing job-banks non-jobs will be transfered overseas, although the possibiltiy of creating foreign job-banks in the future, in addition to the domestic job banks, is left open. The UAW has yet to vote on accepting the compromise.
Union Demands More Money

And doesn't care who they hurt



More for the ridiculous union strike files.



Transit Strike Daily Price Tag: $420M - Forbes.com



So, 10.5% pay increase over three years isn't good enough. They want better than 24% over that same period. And in order to acheive their ends, they're willing to inconvenience 7 million people, and cost New York City $420m a day.



In addition to their already above average pay, their retirement age is 55 and they pay no health care premiums.



I so desperately need to start my own Union.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

So Gay.

Let me preface this by saying, I’m always right.

Upon getting into an argument with people I used to call friends, I realized how vastly superior I am intellectually.

The subject of eBay bidding came up, and the method of bid-in-the-last-5-minutes was espoused (yes, I LIKE the passive voice). They defended it by claiming it helped you to pay the least and it helped you to “win.” Realizing how much could improve their spiritual state by berating them, I quickly resorted to an argument and finally fisticuffs.

I espouse the Bid-the-MAX-you-are-willing-to-pay method. Bid once. Determine how much it’s worth to you, bid that. Or

float bid; //init the amount we want to bid
bid = findWorth(object) – shippingCost(object); //take into account the cost of shipping
placeBid(bid);

This works, and it allows you to know early on when you are outbid so you can move on and attempt to find the same or similar item elsewhere without ever paying too much. Thus you don’t waste a week expecting to buy this item, only to be outbid at the last second by someone you outbid a week ago. If they were really willing to pay $1more than me, why not have just posted their bid that high? I could have moved on instead of waiting for the legally (ort least honor) binding agreement to end, because I sure as heck ain’t gonna pay twice for the same object.

What the bid-at-the-last-second bidders don’t realize is that the point is not to “win”. The point is to Buy. And to buy smart. I shall illustrate with a true tale of danger and intrigue. I once was boy. Call me Tom. Tom is a fitting enough name for a boy. But what you don’t know about this boy is that he was on a mission. He had shopped online to find the cheapest he could buy some used Beatles CDs. The cheapest he could find from a reseller was $20. So he went onto eBay and bid $16 because he was smart enough to take into account the cost of shipping and knew that for every dollar below $16 he paid, he saved that much more on the purchase. A week later, he was outbid by the same two people he had outbid earlier. They had both attempted to bid at the last second, and so they raced each other. The winner paid $30. Idiots. So instead Tom paid $20, and the CDs arrived a week later than they should have because incompetent people had wasted his time since they were willing to pay more but only at the last second.

But alas, perfect logic was no match for them. So I must resort to quoting eBay itself.

Consider your buying options
Determine the maximum you're willing to pay for the item. Take into consideration how much you want the item, how difficult it will be for you to find another one and how soon you need it, and determine the highest price you're willing to pay.

Here's how bidding on eBay works:
When you place a bid, you enter the maximum amount you'd be willing to pay for the item. Your maximum amount is kept confidential from other bidders and the seller.
The eBay system compares your bid to those of the other bidders.
The system places bids on your behalf, using only as much of your bid as is necessary to maintain your high bid position (or to meet the reserve price). The system will bid up to your maximum amount.
If another bidder has a higher maximum, you'll be outbid. BUT, if no other bidder has a higher maximum, you win the item. And you could pay significantly less than your maximum price! This means you don't have to keep coming back to re-bid every time another bid is placed.

QED: I am awesome.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I'm too lazy to write any decent satire, so I'll just link to some funny stuff instead.



The Forbes Fictional 15 - Forbes.com



Just pretend I wrote it.