FU News Contest!
I will mail a bag of marshmallows to whoever is first to post a Question that could grammatically (using the English language) be answered with:
Because the higher it goes the more.
Feel free to re-punctuate that sentence if it would help. I, Tom Adams, am the final judge of this contest. If you disagree with my ruling, tough toenails. I ain't mailing the marshmallows till someone posts a sentence that I think works. And, no, "Why is the mouse that spins?" is not the winning post.
There are lower, middle, and higher levels among levels that can be had. Some people say that less is more and that negative is positive, but that can sometimes be confusing (especially when pulling something rather large out of an orifice that wasn't designed for such things). When choosing the level, think of the most logical straight forward thing, and go with it. So, in that regard, remember the great saying, "The lower it goes, the less." The question must be asked, "Why does everyone like to choose the higher instead of the middle or lower?"
ReplyDeleteCan you say or type "because the higher it goes the more"?
ReplyDeleteOr...
What is the answer to the question "why is the mouse that spins"?
Perhaps a better way of phrasing my second question would be "If I were to ask you 'why is the mouse that spins' what would your response most likely be?"
ReplyDeleteThe question isn't "why is the mouse that spins". The questions is "what is the non-sensical answer to that strange riddle 'why is the mouse that spins'". Two distinct things, really.
In a more straightforward response, I could ask the question "considering that the number of lotto tickets purchased is directly proportional to the size of the jackpot; the jackpot increases each time no one wins; and no one won for 3 consecutive weeks; why were more and more lottery tickets purchased each week?"
The answer of course is "because the higher it (the jackpot) goes, the more (tickets are purchased)"
While I was ballooning in New Mexico, as I am wont to do. A number of poeple approached me with a miriad of questions regarding the sport of competitive ballooning.
ReplyDeleteRumor has it that hte next Olympics is introducing two new sports in both the Summer and Winter games. One event is swell and the other is completely lousy.
While I am not entirely up to speed on all the rules the first event somehow involves kittens, snipers and leotards. The rules simply state, "Last one on the ground-- wins"
The second event is "point" based, where each competitor has thier own balloon and attempts to aquire points. When I asked the chairman of the sport, "how do I aquire points with my balloon"? He merely stated:
The higher it goes, the more.
-The blue fox.
(Or I could have just told a story about the game of "baby catch" Liz and I were playing the other day. I noticed how when I tossed the child I could never get her to regurgitate as much as Liz could. I approached Liz and asked, "How do you get kid to spew so much?" Of course, you probably already know what she told me.)
I would like to point out that neither of The Blue Fox's questions really make sense with the answer. The correct answer is 'because the higher it goes the more.' The "because" implies that the question begins with "why" whereas TBF's questions both begin with "how".
ReplyDeleteCrafting a question that can be answered with "the higher it goes the more" is significantly easier than crafting a question that is answered "because the higher it goes the more."
Perhaps the question should be "why does the child spew so much when you toss it?"
"why does the child spew so much when you toss it?" -Joe
ReplyDeleteThe use of "english" has wonderful effects on projectiles.
-tbf
Hey, no changing the sentence! (if you could even call it that)
ReplyDeleteI'm leaning mildly towards:
Joe's "why were more and more lottery tickets purchased each week?"
and
Take's Up Space's "Why does everyone like to choose the higher instead of the middle or lower?"
Someone should see if they can use the word "more" differently or repunctuate that sentence. Could you use "The More" like a title or a noun? Alas my englilish sucks.
So, I have this friend whom everyone refers to as "The Higher". He thinks he's God's gift to the world and is above everyone else, so we dubbed him that mockingly.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, we were out eating at a restaurant when a small furry creature ran by making a noise that sounded as if it were yelling "the more! the more!" As it went running by, one of the restaurant staff went chasing after it with a broom, swatting at it but missing. This chase went on all around the restaurant for several minutes.
Eventually, The Higher spoke up, saying "why does that staff member have it in for that poor fluffy creature? Why does he want to kill it so badly?"
My response? "Because, The Higher, it goes "the more!"
Admit it, Joe is brilliant. And as the source of half of his genes, and his principal educator for the first 18 years of his life, I take most of the credit. (I have to acknowledge that he got some of his brilliance and wit from his father.)
ReplyDeleteExcept for his spelling and, occasionally, punctuation (there's a final quotation mark missing in the above post).
And when his jokes are REALLY bad.
Nice use of repunctuation... That was a reeeeaaaal stretch though. I think I'll give this a couple more days. Before I make up my mind.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I am playing "Candyland" with a todler, the rules keep changing after every turn. :P j/k
ReplyDeleteOn the *new* sentance....hmm..
My cow-orker Rebeaca, just "Beca" to her friends, was shopping for a new dress in the "J. Peterson Catalog" during a lunch/teleconference at work. Her friend Patty was also looking through the catalog in attempt to help find the right dress. Beca's always was challenged to find something that fit her well, on acocunt of how tall she was.
When Beca found a dress, on page 35 item "B", that she really liked. She turned to Patty and asked what she thought of the length and whether or not she should request that it be hemmed when she ordered it.
Patty was not a fan of the particular number, since she had been eyeballing item "E" herself and she thought estimating the hem length to request would be near impossible.
However, Beca was percistant in getting a reply from Patty on whether the low hem or high hem would be best or whether one would be a serious error in judgement to take a wild guess at the right length.
Patty gave up. She said, "Beca, use the high; er, it go est. hem, or 'E'."
Patty really did like item 'E'. In fact, she bought it the following day.
~the blue fox.
Three fat-cat corporate executives of Noxxe, Inc., were sitting in an oak-paneled office on the two-hundred-foot yacht “Bigger is Better” and were drinking 30-year Scotch while smoking fine hand-wrapped, black-maduro Cohibas. The youngest of the three, who was still yet to be fully initiated into the ways of the world, wondered out loud why it was that they had to keep making an obscene profit at the expense of the backs of the working (wo)man and the destruction of the environment. The other two executives—hearty veterans of the global market’s trenches—glared at him, thinking the answer to obvious to speak:
ReplyDeleteBecause the higher it goes the more
wow, blue fox. Just wu-ow. with a capital OW! that was near perfect genius.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, am I miing it (it is 3am admittedly)? what does the more refer to in your cenario?
Hurray! Huzzah! A winner has been picked. Why? Cause I finally got to it.
ReplyDeleteJoe wins with "Because, The Higher, it goes "the more!"
That is the only sentence that actually made sense to me. So, as soon as you brother divulges your address (a Jack Bauer-style interrogation may be in order), I'm sending you a bag of marshmellows with a self addressed stamped envelope so you can mail me back that coke. ... You know. So, uh, ... where's my coke? I want my coke, man.
Bah!
ReplyDeleteYou know mine was more creative.
-TBF
Typical computer science geeks with no creativity...
ReplyDeleteComputer Science? I'm not a computer scientist... I'm an out of work philosopher, moonlighting (daylighting?) as a systems architect.
ReplyDelete-TBF
OK, I'll admit, Joe's sentance was "grammaticlly correct and posted first".... but he had to change the sentance to do it.
ReplyDeleteIn other odd de-ja-vous-news: A Cow-orker of mine was pondering out loud how airlines determine ticket pricing, when another cow-orker lept into the room, shaking his hands saying:
"Because the more you click the higher it goes".
Ahhhh..... now I understand airfaire pricing... but his entrance to the room and comment were really creepy. (especially in light of this whole discussion)
~the blue fox