RE: Fault Tree Training.

Dear Sir or Madam,

Thank you for your interest in ********'s introduction to fault tree analysis training course. Please find the attached brochure with course details and pricing information for ********'s training programmes.

So we can better accommodate you, please let us know what dates you wish to have training so we can schedule it as soon as possible. Please note that availability is limited and, while we will try to meet your request, we may be unable to.

Also, prior to training, please be sure you have the following attendees signed up for the course:

• Two (2) or more balding, middle-aged engineers.
• One (1) crotchety old guy who barely knows how to use a computer.
• One (1) or more crotchety old guy(s) who will sit at the back of the room and scowl the entire time. Optionally, they may heckle the instructor from time to time.
  
• Two (2) or more engineers who refuse to participate in the class, instead talking to themselves during the entire course and causing a disruption.
• One (1) token ethnic guy, preferably Indian, although Chinese is acceptable. His accent should be all but incomprehensible to a native English-speaker, and he should ask the most questions.
  
• One (1) token woman. Optionally, she may be the most extroverted member of the group and provide the highest level of class participation, furthering the already extreme stereotypes.
  
• One (1) engineer who looks like Michael Bolton from Office Space.
• One (1) young guy, under 30 years of age, who is probably the only person in the room with less experience in reliability and system safety engineering than the instructor. This attendee is important to make the instructor feel not quite totally worthless.
• One (1) guy who booked the training and has forced everyone else to be there against their wills, including the trainer. He should ask lots of well thought-out and meaningful questions about how to apply the software to the system that your company is developing, as if the instructor had any freaking clue how your systems work.

If you have a small number of people seeking training, some people may fulfill more than one of these roles. For instance, the Michael Bolton look-alike can also be disinterested in the class, and the woman can also be ethnic.

In preparation for the training, please make sure each attendee will have access to a computer with the software pre-installed on it. We will provide temporary licenses for the training session.

I look forward to hearing from you and await your reply.

Regards,
Joe Belland,
******** Technical Consultant