Along the lines of "me on the dating scene," here's a script for a movie in which I'm transported to an alternate universe. In this scene, I'm working closely with a beautiful and brilliant scientist, played by Amanda Tapping, to try and figure out how I can get home to warn the people in my universe about the coming Goa'uld invasion.

And before you ask, I have no idea where this came from, which is a statement that could be made about virtually every thought I've ever had.

*music plays in the backgound*

Me: "That's pretty music, what is it?"

Scientist: "Mozart's 64th symphony, if I'm not mistaken."

Me: "64th? That's not right. Mozart's 41st symphony was his last, written shortly before his death in 1791."

Scientist: "No, you're mistaken. He wrote 98 symphonies, before he finally died in 1836."

Me: "What? You mean Mozart didn't die young in this universe?"

Scientist: "No of course not. You mean he did in yours?"

Me: "Yes, at the age of 35."

Scientist: "You mean your Mozart never lived long enough to write his London symphonies? You mean you've never heard his greatest opera, 'The Little Emperor'?"

Me: "No! Where can I get a copy of these? I must listen to them?"

Scientist: "You can borrow my complete Mozart collection."

Me: "That's fantastic! New music by Mozart! This will be incredible! I'm not sure I want to go back to my universe now! Oh, if your Mozart lived longer, that means he would have lived long enough to have been influenced by Beethoven!"

Scientist: "Who?"

Me: "Don't tell me you've never heard of Ludwig von Beethoven. German composer? Eroica? Emperor Concerto? Pastoral symphony? Ode to Joy? Fidelio?"

Scientist: *blank stare*

Me: *look of shock and horror* "No! You damned dirty apes! Also, KAAAAAAAHN!"

This is when I break my glasses and am unable to spend the post-apocalyptic future reading, and it also turns out that the scientist cut her hair to buy me a silver chain for my pocket watch, which I sold to buy her a set of combs for her hair.

Topic for discussion: would you prefer to live in our universe, where Mozart died at the age of 35, but we have Beethoven, or would you rather live in the universe where Beethoven never existed, but Mozart lived until the age of 80, becoming a greater composer every year?

Also, the other universe is being invaded by the Goa'uld.