Miscellany

♫Catching up is hard to do.♫

First up, Cosplay.

First up in the Cosplay category is the costume The Murloc wore to Wondercon (motto: unlike other conventions, we are affordable and available!)

For this costume, The Murloc custom-made her own corset. Of this, I approve.

Recognize the character? Imaginary bag of marshmallows if you do.

No? Here, I'll post a picture of the actual character.

Still nothing?

The Obscure Murloc is, of course, dressed as the DC Comics' Dark Justice League character Zatanna Zatara. And even if you had heard of Zatanna, the Murloc used the costume from DC's "New 52" comic book reboots, further decreasing the chances that anyone would recognize who she is.

Next, and more interestingly and recognizably, is the "costume" that The Patriotic Murloc assembled for the midnight premier of the Avengers ("What's that, sweetie? You'd like to see Joss Whedon's superhero movie? Me too! Do you mind staying home with the kids while I go to the midnight showing with a friend? Thanks!")

She made the purse herself.

Halfway through the purse-making, with her fingers raw and calloused from pushing a needle through vinyl, and her sanity on the verge of cracking each time that I told her "you know they make machines for that now," when she complained of the difficulties of sewing by hand, she snapped and dragged me and the boys off to Joann's.

Enter Helga the Viking.

She sews, she embroiders, she's smarter than your average sewing machine.

She has a USB port, so when Skynet goes live, Helga will be able to take orders and massacre all the humans.

This would normally be where I would complain about how much of my money she's spending, but considering we just got our tax refund, and I got my semi-annual profit sharing check from work, I had ($)_($) dollars burning a hole in my bank account, and, considering my fear of flaming money, needed to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

At my orders, The Crafty Murloc took many pictures of the purse-creation process, but she refuses to surrender any of them to me so I can post prose pertaining to the purse producing process for people's perusal. Something silly about "she doesn't want people to steal her work" because she wants to start a "home business" and "make money" off of it.

She also distinctly complained that there were two many p- words in the preceding paragraph.

Once Helga entered the picture, what had taken her about three or four days to get a third of the way into, she finished in a couple hours.

I think she's going to be making an X-Men purse for a friend, and Batman and Spider-man purses for the openings of those movies. She says she got lots and lots of compliments on the purse while waiting in line, so she's going to print out business cards and start a word-of-mouth marketing campaign.

She also needs a name for her business. I suggested "Sew Geeky" and "Creative Geekery".

* * *

Second item on the agenda: the neanderthal and the ankle-biter.

Ride 'em, cowboy.

(He literally is an ankle-biter. You'll be standing around, minding your own business, then *WHAM* out of nowhere, you'll have a cling-on gnawing on your ankle.)

We had to upgrade from bassinet to pack 'n' play in the bedroom for Obvious Reasons.

On the to-do list is by a toddler bed and move Damien into that before Anthony is too big for the pack 'n' play and needs to move into the crib. Certain Possessive Two-year-olds may not appreciate having to surrender their Private Sanctum to young upstarts without being given time to adjust.

Fortunately, that won't happen for a while. Anthony has completely reverted on his ability to sleep through the night, back to where he was at about four months old. He now wakes once or twice (from between 3AM to 5AM).

On a related note, does anyone know where to get good discounts on ether and handkerchiefs?

Also on the to-do list is begin potty training. Not sure how to do this one. I'm thinking of locking him in the bathroom until he figures it out. He is aware of when he's gone potty, as he'll announce his poops, but he hasn't yet told us before he needs to go.

So helpful! He feeds his brother and actually gets a few morsels in his mouth, not just  smeared on his face!

He's also learned to lie. Cold led to ear infection led to antibiotics led to diaper rash led to painful (for all involved parties) diaper changes. At the worst of it, whenever we asked him if he had a poop, he would eagerly and vehemently deny it, especially when he did have one.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

* * *

Jury Duty.

Week before last, I had jury duty. I was called to a civil trial, but never got interviewed, as the jury was set before they got to me.

After hearing the case description, I was all set to be an objective and reasonable juror. "Yes, I am the epitome of fairness, open-mindedness, and impartiality," I was prepared to say.

Then the plaintiff's attorney opened his mouth.

The case description is that, while on a boat on the Arizona side of Lake Havasu, plaintiff was pushed off the boat by defendant (who is also owner of the boat). Plaintiff then attempted to climb back into the boat using the aft ladder, but hit his foot on the (stopped) propeller, causing permanent injury. Plaintiff alleges that, as owner of the boat, defendant was responsible for informing the plaintiff of the dangers of the boat. Defendant denies that plaintiff was pushed into the water, and that plaintiff caused his own injury through personal negligence.

OK, whatever. I'm fine with that. I'll listen to evidence and apply my superior critical thinking powers to the matter at hand. Then the plaintiff's attorney started asking questions of the potential jurors like "would you have a problem if someone was awarded seven figures in damages for pain and suffering?" and "don't you think it's your responsibility to warn guests about the dangers in your house?" and "since the defendant and plaintiff are friends, would you have a problem with a friend suing another friend?"

Yes; herp derp propellers are dangerous? herp derp; and yes. During interviews, it also came out that the incident took place at a bachelor party. I wonder how much alcohol was involved.

At a couple points during jury interviews, the plaintiff's attorney mentioned tort reform, as if he was all for it. I don't know, but if you really want to cut down on the number of frivolous lawsuits, not asking $1,000,000 for something as subjective as pain and suffering seems like a good place to start. Whenever anyone on the jury seemed to be uneasy with the massive payout for "ouch, my toe hurts", the plaintiffs attorney would ask "given that the only way a civil court can award damages is through monetary compensation, would you have a problem assigning a dollar figure to pain and suffering?" I may be an idiot, but, to me, that would seem to be a pretty good indication that the courts are wholly inadequate for determining matters of pain and suffering and compensations therefor.

As I mentioned, I never did get interviewed. Kinda wish I did, though I do wonder if a juror has ever been held in contempt for delivering a tirade about the shyster plaintiff's attorney.

The judge was cool. Judge Glenda Sanders spoke the perfect Queen's English. I work with Brits, but seeing as they're all from Manchester, Liverpool, or Wales, you're lucky to understand every fifth word. But Honorable Judge Sanders spoke exactly like those English movie villains who everyone always claims has a fake accent, because no one from England speaks that well.

The case, for those interested, is Brian Moynan vs. Jeff Lawson, and court documents are available for purchase on the Orange County Superior Court website. The judge estimated that the trial would end by May 14th. I may try and find out the result.

* * *

Lastly, the Gallery of Sleeping Babbies.