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Ah, traveling, and the joys of the "find a consistent daily Mass" crapshoot. It also allows the joy of judging a parish based on the church architecture.
Although, judging a parish can be tricky business. For instance, there's the one where the priest needed a "say the black, do the read" mug, who referenced The Last Temptation of the Christ in his homily, five extraordinary ministers of communion (for about 50 people? seriously?), and a gift shop inside the church, but where their was a flock of abnormally reverent teens in attendance, who all stayed to pray after Mass, and genuflected before receiving communion, bowed at the name of Our Lord, and were perfectly silent when leaving the church. I'm not sure whether to put that parish in the "heretics who will burn in hell" column or not.
The other church has devout "say black/do red" priests, a deacon assisting at the Mass, no extraordinary ministers, "40 days for Life" signs out front, and one of the most reverent altar boys I'd seen (after Mass, a women, I guess, from the altar society, opened the tabernacle to, I dunno, fiddle around? The altar boy, in the middle of extinguishing the candles, genuflected and remained kneeling for the entire duration while the tabernacle was open; this was after a 6:30am Mass, mind; how many teenage boys do you know who would willingly get up that early to serve Mass?). I think I probably won't shake their dust from my feet, or pray for the Lord to rain down fire from the heavens upon them.
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Speaking of traveling, whose idea was it to set up travel during Lent? I mean, what's the point of traveling on someone else's dime if you can't get wasted? And when the client has cookies and donuts that just have to go to waste? I mean, really, do you have any idea how hard it was to turn down donuts? Donuts, people! And liquor on the boss's tab! I mean, yeah, I get that it's holy week, remembering the passion, Christ suffered on the cross, yada yada. But free pizza but no soda? I sure hope God's happy, 'cause I'm sure not.
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Speaking of the client, they followed the directions closely: token woman, token black guy, room dominated by balding middle-age engineers, crotchety old guy who didn't know how to use a computer, two hecklers (who graced me by sitting in the front of the class!). It was almost perfect, except no Michael Bolton.
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Speaking of training, I dropped a Firefly reference during the session ("some people juggle geese!"). No one laughed. And here I thought engineers were supposed to be nerds.
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Apropos of nothing: The next time someone asks me if the seat next to me is taken, I'm going to say "it was, but Liam Neeson flew to Paris and killed a bunch of Albanian mobsters to get it back."
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Also unrelated, but I've forgotten for the last few quick takes: We're getting sued! (Again!) Well, not we personally, but the HOA of which we are a part. Which means we're still liable. Apparently, there was an alleged altercation between one alleged homeowner and another homeowner's alleged dog. The alleged plaintiff is suing the dog's owner (for reasons I shan't be the judge of) and the HOA for allegedly "failing to enforce the rules concerning dogs". They are allegedly claiming damages of
of which our share comes to $1094.09. Allegedly, dog bites are as damaging as boating accidents on Lake Havasu.
Seriously, HOAs are evil.
Want out of this place! >_<
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