Election Coverage 2004

The debate so far



George Soros: Bush sucks!

Gephardt, Dean, Lieberman, Edwards, Sharpton, Kerry: I agree.

Bush: Kwicherbellyachin.

Kerry: Vote for me I served in Vietnam and all the vets love me!

John O'Neal: I served with John Kerry and he sucks.

Kerry: How dare you bring Vietnam into this! Stick to the issues. Bush! Make him stop.

Bush: While I think all 527s should stop, I can't do anything about it because to do so would violate McCain-Feingold.

Kerry: There's a cop-out if ever I heard one, bringing up some 'law'.

Dozens of other groups: Kerry sucks!

Kerry: This is just another thinly-veiled attempt by Bush to divert attention from his dismal record and the issues that really matter, like my Vietnam record.

Swift Boat Vets: But your Vietnam record sucks!

Kerry: There you go again! Trying to divert attention from the issues by bringing up Vietnam.



1997 John Kerry: The US can't count on France or Russia. We should pre-emptively invade Iraq without their support!

2002 Bush: Let's go to war with Iraq. It won't be easy.

2002 Kerry: OK!

2003 Bush: We need money for the troops.

Kerry: Ok. No.

2004 Kerry: Hey! This is hard! Why didn't you tell us?

Bush: I did.

Kerry: Well, why didn't you get France and Russia?

Bush: The invitation for them to join in was open.

Kerry: Well, we needed their help. This war is meaningless without international support.

Bush: What about Britain, Spain, Poland, Italy, Australia, Honduras, etc.

Kerry: They don't count because they aren't France, Germany, and Russia.

Bush: But you said we don't need them.

Kerry: No I didn't. They're our long-standing traditional allies, despite the fact that we've been at war with two of those three multiple times in the last century.

Bush: Whatever.

Kerry: Vote for me! I can bring legitimate nations to the table!

Bush: And I can't?

Kerry: Of course not. You've insulted them and they'll never trust you. You can only put together a coalition of the coerced.

Bush: Didn't you just insult several nations?

Kerry: Of course not.

Allawi: Iraq is making steady progress towards the elections in January.

Bush: They sure are.

Kerry: No they aren't. Iraq is a quagmire created by Bush and Allawi is a US stooge.

Allawi: *low growl*

Bush: Speaking of insulting world leaders....