Ok, so for those of you who haven't heard, we've moved.
Our new place is really nice. It's a 3 bed, 2 bath condo, around 1500 sq. ft. (more than twice the size of our previous apartment). It has an attached two car garage, washer and dryer, and remote-controlled ceiling fans in every room.
And in what I'm sure many of you will consider a highly, highly controversial move, we've taken on a roommate. Jason White is a friend of ours and a co-worker of Rie's and I've linked to his photo site a couple times: the Dork Knights of Dumbshire. He has some pictures of the condo there that you can check out.
Part of the reason we moved in with him is because he was the one who discovered the condo. He was at a housewarming party for another friend and was in a conversation with one of the IT managers at Blizzard when it came up that the manager had a condo he was trying to sell. Jason told him he couldn't really afford to buy, but the manager said he was also willing to rent as well, since he was having a hard time selling it with the housing bubble popping. Jason told us about it (since he new we wanted to get out of our apartment) and we went to look at the condo with him. After a couple months, and much thought and prayer, we moved in.
The other reason was to save money on rent. $2100 a month, while cheap for the condo and area, is a little high for us. But at least it's better than the $500,000 asking price on the condo, which again is a good deal considering the area.
Now before you post comments about what an idiotic move we made, let me just say that this was a very carefully considered decision and after much thought, Rie and I decided that the pros outweighed the cons. Yes, there are drawbacks. We won't have as much privacy so we can't have wild sex on the couch anymore (not that we ever did), and we do have to worry about, as mom put it "what other people can hear" (but how is that any different than living in an apartment with paper-thin walls?). But those really weren't my main concerns. I really had only two concerns, which are detailed below.
1) Loss of the "Fortress of Solitude". Being an introvert, I can only tolerate being around people for so long. Eventually, I just need to retreat to my fortress of solitude and avoid all human contact for a while. With a roommate, that will be slightly less possible. Where do I go when I just want to sulk in a corner? I have to put up with some one else invading my space. Fortunately, I think I'll be able to live. Something we all agreed on before we moved in was that this would only really work because we had 3 bedrooms (one of which is used as a computer room). What it essentially means is that no matter where the other two people are, there will always be a room to retreat to for privacy.
2) Loss of "The Bubble". One of the things I've missed the most since graduating from Steubenville is "The Bubble". This was an invisible field that surrounded the campus and kept the good influences in and the bad influences out. Within the bubble you could be yourself and live by a Christian value system and not be thought of as quaint, out-of-touch, or radically out of the mainstream. When I moved out into "the world" I suddenly lost the protection of "the bubble". Suddenly, you find yourself surrounded by a culture that does not just think of you as outdated, but out-and-out despises your values. (Don't believe me? Read this recent post from The Pickles.) But the one place you could be safe (aside from at church) was in one's home. There I could set my own rules and live as I believed was right with no one telling me I was hopelessly out of touch, except for the TV of course, which can very easily be turned off. But with a roommate who is not Catholic, what becomes of my own, personal bubble? It's something that has yet to work itself out and gives me a fair amount of anxiety.
Now the Pros.
1) Our own Domicile. The major drawback to the last two places we lived was that neither one really felt permanent, or really like a home. They really only felt like the place we went to play WoW and sleep. This new place really, really feels more like a home. For the first time since we've been married we've actually unpacked most of our boxes. The crucifix that mom and dad gave us for our wedding has actually been hung up. The new place really just feels like someplace we can settle in.
2) Unpacking. This goes along with the previous point. Those of you who visited us at our previous apartment know how woefully small it was and we never had any hope of being able to unpack. This place is large enough that not only can we unpack, but we can move around! We've been able to sit down at our dining table and have a meal there for the first time in a year. Also, one of the reasons I've played so much WoW in the last year is because all our books were still packed away, and we never got the TV hooked up. I would sit around and be bored, not really wanting to play WoW, then I'd think to read a book, but didn't want to have to dig through the five heavy boxes, and I couldn't watch TV, so I just defaulted to playing WoW. After we moved, we didn't have internet for a week, and I ended up not playing WoW for 3 weeks. What amazed me was how little I missed it. Now when I'm bored and not really in the mood to play WoW, the bookcase right next to my desk starts to look a little more inviting.
3) Domestication of the Murloc. I think part of the reason that Rie hasn't been domesticated yet is because she hasn't had a place to be domesticated in. It was really her idea to move to this new place (I was against it until I saw how much she wanted it) and I think part of that is because of her nesting instinct kicking in. She's told me that she's now ready to quit her job and stay at home, but I need to be making enough money first. So if anyone knows of a job in the Irvine area that pays $60k+ a year, please let me know.
So, now if any of you think that we're still making a horrible mistake and are inclined to post or e-mail me why think so, I'll just tell you now, STFU! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! Actually, Rie's mom called her a little while after we moved to tell us as much and that she was disappointed we didn't ask her opinion first. Good thing it was Rie talking to her. My response would have been "of course we didn't ask you. We already knew what you would think."
Ok, on to the pictures.
A couple days after we moved in, the power went out while Southern California Edison switch the account from the landlord's name to ours. The landlord SCE to tell them that we would be calling to put the electric account in our name and somehow SCE heard that as "turn off the power until the new tenants call." I can see how a minimum wage or government worker might confuse the two. It did give me a good opportunity to take some cool pictures thought. The previous picture and the next four were all taken with a 10-second exposure.
Living room. This was before we had unfinished unpacking so there are still a few boxes.
The fireplace.
...with Rie's lightsaber turned on.
The coffee table centerpiece.
The real reason we moved in with Jason: he has a big-screen TV. The toilet paper stacked on the coffee table is so we don't have to leave the living room when we gotta go.
The picture above the fireplace is a map of Azeroth.
Jason's trophy case, filled with swag, mainly Blizzard swag that he swiped when Blizz was closing their offices in Northern California.
Our new place has stairs, but thankfully only the entry and garage is downstairs. All the bedrooms, living room, and kitchen are on the same level. Kittens love the stairs! It's fun to stick Bastet to the bottom of them and watch her cling on and crawl around to the top.
What could be more fun that putting a kitten in a hanging fruit bowl?
Putting two kittens in hanging fruit bowls! Isis is trying to chew through the chains while Bastet is contemplaiting a jump to freedom.
Bastet has a new favorite place. On the towel on top of the cabinet in Jason's bathroom. Apparently she was there watching him while he was taking a shower once. Voyeuristic kitty.
She likes being up and she can't get on top of the refrigerator any more.
A week after we moved in we threw a Halloween party. This was actually a really good idea as it forced us to unpack an clean up quickly rather than dragging it out. Rie went as a Pirate.
Tine was a punk pixie.
Jason went as, um, a drinking skeleton. There was a hole in the mouth just large enough to fit a straw through.
Rie went all out decorating for Halloween.
Cool little candle things on the coffee table.
Apparently Shelob got to Grom Hellscream and Tychondrius.
The hallway.
In case you hadn't noticed, we have a very WoW-themed home.
Jason also has a barbecue and grilled some hotdogs for Christine's birthday party.
A row of lighted eyeballs along the balcony railing.
The dinner table.
The chandelier. Shelob's been active.
Our wine "cellar". Shelob was here too. That might even be her in the background.
Kitties like stairs. Shelob likes kitties.
We do actually have a dungeon. A door in the garage leads to an under the beneath that resembles a dungeon.
Isis has it out for that Monkey. She's like the Coyote constantly plotting and planning how to get it. The ACME bills that we keep getting are huge.
Boo! This is what you saw when you came in the front door.
This is the front door. Rie cleverly placed the spider web just right so that she could walk under it but I would walk into it. Maybe she's Shelob.
Happy birthday Tiney!
The cake was actually made out of cupcakes.
And lastly, I give you. Rie's toes.
Coinkydink! We put an offer on a house on Monday and the offer was accepted last evening, so now we are scrambling around trying to get the mtg app in and find hazard insurance before we close in a week and a half!! Our place is a 2-story second half of a duplex with 1444sf, 3 beds, 1.5 baths, a detached 1-car garage, screened in porch, fenced in yard, on a dead end street with a community pool at the end, within walking distance from a park with basketball and tennis courts in a low crime area. The adjoining portion of the duplex is a one story, so we only have the half of one wall in common with our neighbors and all the beds are upstairs. The price is 149,900 and we are praying we can make it! Good luck in your new place!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I'll pray for you and Rie.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the opinions of your family on your move:
STFU! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!
You didn't actually say this to your mother-in-law, did you? :p
and we do have to worry about, as mom put it "what other people can hear" (but how is that any different than living in an apartment with paper-thin walls?).
I think there's a big difference between walls within an apartment and walls between apartments. Regardless of what you hear between apartments, you'll hear more within the apartment.
There's also a bigger difference when there is only a door between you and outside ears.
This situation can be good practice for when you have children.
1) Loss of the "Fortress of Solitude".
Again, another good practice for when you have children. You just don't have the time to yourself that you used to have. Of course, having children is much different, especially in that you constantly give to them. But the solitude angle is still somewhat comparable.
Loss of "The Bubble".
Yeah, this is a biggie, and it will be even bigger once you have children. You home is like your sanctuary. It's like walking into a church and being with God (well, being with God combined with spilled milk, sibling rivalry, and running and screaming). Children need a "bubble", and, quite frankly, so do breadwinners (ie, you). I imagine that you'll want to get your own place once you have children.
I think a roomate is a big issue if he isn't interested in talking about the "big issues" of life. Ya' know what I mean--video games, particle physics, the half-life of twinkies, and Michael Jackson's real skin color. OK, I think you know what I really mean.
If he doesn't mind talking to you about these things, then I think it will be a very enriching experience for all of you. Since you're now unpacked, you'll undoubtedly leave various religiously-themed books around the condo too. Lots of opportunities to plant seeds.
It might also help teach your roomate something about marriage. Not many bachelors live with married people who aren't their parents.
It could also be very trying if, for instance, he decides he wants his girlfriend to live with you too. Did you ever discuss such a situation with him?
Anywho, I don't think taking on a roomate is a decision I would've made. However, if you're happy with it and it helps you grow to be the person God wants you to be, then God be praised!
Also, one of the reasons I've played so much WoW in the last year is because all our books were still packed away.
Oh ho! That's why you've been averaging ~3 hours of WoW play each day (approximately 12% of a day, as your sidebar indicates). If you want to read something.
By the way, those were fabulous pictures! Your condo looks great. Does Jason happen to have a surround sound stereo system to go with that TV?
Congratulations again. We'll be praying for you!
Congratulations on your new condo! We enjoyed visiting you in your new home, and can see why you wanted to take advantage of this opportunity to live in such a nice place. It's lovely, and your combined furnishings make it really attractive. The WOW stuff makes it distinctively yours. The neighborhood is much nicer that either of your previous places, too. (Except that it's a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. It took us about 15 minutes to find our way out!)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you finally have a place you can think of as home. It's obvious that Rie is enjoying it, from the way she enthusiastically decorated it! That's the first sign of domestication, when the female marks the place with her identity and thereby makes it her own.
I admit I had misgivings when you first told me about the arrangement, but having met Jason, he seems like a decent, reasonable, and friendly young man. I'm sure you have all agreed upon ground rules regarding privacy and standards of behavior in your mutual home.
Actually, your arrangement is not all that uncommon when housing is scarce or more expensive than young couples can afford. When your grandparents married in 1933 it was during the depths of the Depression, and they rented a room in their small apartment to your Uncle Neil in order to make ends meet. Your arrangement is temporary, and if it helps you to save money so that one day you can afford your own place, that's a good thing.
The loss of the "bubble" is not an entirely bad thing. Unless Jason is totally hostile to Christian values (which I think is unlikely), it gives you an opportunity to give him a really positive picture of what healthy Christian life and marriage should be. You will have to be a little more careful about how you behave so that you don't give a wrong impression, but that's not a bad thing, either. But you can show him, as I think Hilaire Belloc said, that "Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, There's always laughter and good red wine." Besides that, Christians are supposed to engage the world and influence it for the better, not retreat from it. You won't actually be persecuted in your own home, as some Christians are. As long as you resist any temptation to slack off in your Christian life, it might be a good experience for all of you.
The biggest problem I see is loss of privacy. Your loss of privacy as a couple is not absolute, and if you feel comfortable with the compromise, that's what matters. The loss of what you call your "Fortress of Solitude" is always going to be a problem, even when you no longer need to share expenses with a roommate. It might help to designate a particular place as your retreat where no one will disturb you. A corner of a room or even a particular chair might suffice, if everybody understands that they should leave you alone while you are there. It's harder when you have children. That's why bathroom doors have locks! Some of us have been known to go sit in our cars on occasion when that was the only way we could get needed time alone. (You also have the dungeon, although it's a little chilly!)
BTW, I never expected you to get our approval before you made your decision. It's YOUR decision. Whether you want our opinion or not is entirely up to you.
Anyway, God bless you. That reminds me, may I suggest that you ask your priest to come and bless your condo and enthrone a picture of the Sacred Heart so that it will really be a Catholic home. You can do it while Jason is out if you think it would make him uncomfortable. But it would be good for all of you, even Jason.
Wherever a Catholic son doth shine, there is always laughter and a WHOLE KITCHEN COUNTER FULL OF LIQUOR!!! (judging by your pic...)
ReplyDeleteI personally think that you are going to hell because of your choice.
ReplyDeleteLiz and I have had long term guests in our various apartments. It only gets tough when finances are tight and there is a sense of "not contributing proportionally".
ReplyDeleteYour new place looks great!
It is amazing how a nice environment reduces stress. I'm sure this place will be much "easier" to live in.
We need to have you guys up again, but I doubt we will do much of anything until after the baby arrives. (It's less than four weeks away and Liz thinks less than three weeks.)
~tbc
Just to cover on some points that Joe didn't go into full detail:
ReplyDeleteThe whole privacy issue isn't even an issue. We're not doing anything different than we did before, so there hasn't really been any super life changes in regards to this.
Heck, Jason's hardly ever home. So we have the place mostly to ourselves.
Also, Jason tends to be a private person himself. He keeps to himself and doesn't go butting around, unless asked to butt. He's a decent fellow like that.
And as for noise thing and the walls being paper-thin or whatever, Joe and I don't make ANY noise. So, the whole sound point is moot.
And, as Jason has told us time and again, he sees us as very good friends, and the last thing he wants to do is upset us.
We have a healthy and mutual understanding, and so far, this arrangement is working out very well.
And by golly, this place finally feels like home. I have chosen it and I will make my mark upon it, even if it kills me.
The Murloc hath spoken!
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