I did like the first person narrative, noticed that I mentally changed the way I read to incorporate the accent.
The last effect of the grammatical correction made a greater impact, but it seemed as if "me" was used too often in getting to that goal at the bottom of the set of stanzas.
As for the third person perspective, you do not have "enough" exposure to the usage of "me" to get the same effect out of the last two lines of dialog.
Jeff: Well, this is the second chapter of the second novel. The speech quirks of both characters have long been established.
Tom: 1) So I don't have to clutter up this blog with posts about my writing class and Space Pirates,
2) Similar to Little Ralphie's A+++ syndrome, I occasionally get the delusion that I might be published some day, in which case it would be prudent to have a public literary blog unaffiliated with ancient posts about rather personal things.
3) (And most importantly) I needed a Live Journal account to comment on John C. Wright's blog.
Hmm. Hard to say which I like better. Reading (and therefore thinking) in pirate lingo is fun, but for some reason I don't take stories written in 1st-person as seriously. (Even the Hunger Games. What, you haven't read it yet?? What are you doing sitting there and reading my stupid comment? Go get it and read it! Pronto!) Certainly a 1st person narrative makes the story more personal in a way, but I tend to enjoy the omniscience of the 3rd person better. Just my personal preference, though. You can offer more insights into characters and situations with a 3rd person narrative, while with 1st person, the reader only knows what Jack knows. I guess it really depends on which perspective you want to offer your readers -- what kind of story you want it to be. Do you want the reader to grow right along with Jack, or do you want to give him some insights that Jack can't have?
I agree with Jenny. The 1st person allows you to think with the character, but you can still put in what characters are thinking when you write in the 3rd person. Plus, the 1st person is limiting. If you want to stay in 1st person, you can't follow the other characters around when their narrative paths separate. I would say if your story is primarily about a particular person and his experience then 1st person might make sense. If it's more about a group of characters and their sometimes combined, sometimes separate adventures, 3rd person would be best.
You could always switch which character is speaking for the separate paths, I guess, as long as you made it immediately obvious which head we're in when you did.
Another consideration would be that 1st person narrative forces your characters to admit things to themselves it might be out of character for them to admit. A macho pirate captain might not admit to himself that he felt embarrassed or stupid even if he did.
Have you considered the 2nd person? Nothing takes the narrative to a personal level with the reader like the choose-your-own-adventure feeling (using present tense as well):
You take a sip of your rum and try to calm yourself. You turn back towards Regina, stare into her blue eyes, and from there, quickly find yourself lost. She seems distracted and her gaze flits around the room for a minute before she finally notices you. She looks at you quizzically before you shift your gaze down to your rum.
To slap her, turn to page 47. To kiss her, turn to page 132.
I agree with Mrs. Pickles' comments about writing in the first person -- it limits the reader to knowing only what the main character knows and seeing what he sees. Also, the only point of view possible is that of the main character.
One other thought about writing in the first person: you would have to keep up Jack's idiosyncratic speech pattern all the way through ("me expectations", for example). That would be hard, unless it is the way you naturally talk -- otherwise it might sound artificial and forced. It might also get tedious for the reader.
The Orphans of Chaos series by John C. Wright is written mostly in the 1st person, except for one part where he changes to the third person for plot-significant reasons I won't spoil here. When he changes back it's subtle but effective.
I think you could keep up the pirate dialect for the whole novel, but you might end up talking that way in real life. For some variety, you could tell each book or chapter from a different character's perspective.
And it's not like Captain Jack is Jar-Jar Binks:
"I took a sip ta mesa wum and tried to calm mesaself. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa turned back towards Wesagina, stared into her blue eyes, and from derre, quickly found mesaself lost. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! She seemed distracted and her gaze flitted about der woom for a minute before she finally noticed mesa. Way? Esqueeze mesa. She looked at mesa quizzically before Mesa shifted mesa gaze down to mesa wum. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks!"
I don't know - 1st person is more immediate, and draws me into the story more/quicker. Why don't you try a chapter and see how it feels. It can be challenging, since Jack won't have visibility of a lot of things, but there are devices to work around that. - Dad
One thing I'd like to mention is that 3rd person omniscient is extremely out-of-vogue these days. It's something my instructor will call her students on, if they try to drift from one character's POV to another's within a scene. Even when you're writing 3rd person, it ought to still be through the character's eyes and heart, and we're not supposed to include information that the character doesn't know. It helps anchor the reader in the scene.
See Harry Potter for a good example of what I'm talking about. Even though it's third person, everything is seen through Harry's eyes, and the reader doesn't know anything that Harry doesn't know.
I asked my instructor if I could write a 1st person novel with two different POVs (Jack's and Regina's), because the only 1st person novels I've read are from one character's POV only. She said that it is allowable and it is done from time to time. It requires a lot of skill on the author's part to make it immediately clear to the reader whose POV we're in from the start of the scene.
So, if Space Pirates were to be a 1st person novel, I'd probably still use 3rd person for the beginning (the anonymous Captain's POV) and near the end (Sikorsky's POV). Jack and Regina would be 1st person, and I don't know what I'd do with the couple scenes from Damian AKA Elijah's POV.
(BTW, for those who read the first draft, several characters have been renamed: Elijah->Damian (with an "a"), John->Yosef, Steve->Steven, and I finally bit the bullet and renamed Zack to Chris. Chris White from the scene I posted from E2 is now Miles (thanks for the suggestion mom!))
Yes, a number of SF novels are 1st person. Robert Heinlein used it in "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress", "Starship Troopers", and "Podkayne of Mars". In the latter, he switched to another person's POV in the last chapter. This was dramatic, since for a moment you thought the heroine had been killed. Also Poul Anderson, in "The High Crusade" - all of these excellent books. Also of course, Moby Dick, if you like that sort of thing. "Call me Ishmael/Cap'n Flynt" - Dad
I agree with Dave. You should write in 2nd person and change it into a choose-your-own-adventure. (My girls agree -- at least that's what I'm inferring from their hysterical laughter at Jack's immediate demise.)
I did like the first person narrative, noticed that I mentally changed the way I read to incorporate the accent.
ReplyDeleteThe last effect of the grammatical correction made a greater impact, but it seemed as if "me" was used too often in getting to that goal at the bottom of the set of stanzas.
As for the third person perspective, you do not have "enough" exposure to the usage of "me" to get the same effect out of the last two lines of dialog.
off topic: why do you have a second blog?
ReplyDeleteJeff: Well, this is the second chapter of the second novel. The speech quirks of both characters have long been established.
ReplyDeleteTom:
1) So I don't have to clutter up this blog with posts about my writing class and Space Pirates,
2) Similar to Little Ralphie's A+++ syndrome, I occasionally get the delusion that I might be published some day, in which case it would be prudent to have a public literary blog unaffiliated with ancient posts about rather personal things.
3) (And most importantly) I needed a Live Journal account to comment on John C. Wright's blog.
Hmm. Hard to say which I like better. Reading (and therefore thinking) in pirate lingo is fun, but for some reason I don't take stories written in 1st-person as seriously. (Even the Hunger Games. What, you haven't read it yet?? What are you doing sitting there and reading my stupid comment? Go get it and read it! Pronto!) Certainly a 1st person narrative makes the story more personal in a way, but I tend to enjoy the omniscience of the 3rd person better. Just my personal preference, though. You can offer more insights into characters and situations with a 3rd person narrative, while with 1st person, the reader only knows what Jack knows. I guess it really depends on which perspective you want to offer your readers -- what kind of story you want it to be. Do you want the reader to grow right along with Jack, or do you want to give him some insights that Jack can't have?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jenny. The 1st person allows you to think with the character, but you can still put in what characters are thinking when you write in the 3rd person. Plus, the 1st person is limiting. If you want to stay in 1st person, you can't follow the other characters around when their narrative paths separate. I would say if your story is primarily about a particular person and his experience then 1st person might make sense. If it's more about a group of characters and their sometimes combined, sometimes separate adventures, 3rd person would be best.
ReplyDeleteYou could always switch which character is speaking for the separate paths, I guess, as long as you made it immediately obvious which head we're in when you did.
Another consideration would be that 1st person narrative forces your characters to admit things to themselves it might be out of character for them to admit. A macho pirate captain might not admit to himself that he felt embarrassed or stupid even if he did.
Have you considered the 2nd person? Nothing takes the narrative to a personal level with the reader like the choose-your-own-adventure feeling (using present tense as well):
You take a sip of your rum and try to calm yourself. You turn back towards Regina, stare into her blue eyes, and from there, quickly find yourself lost. She seems distracted and her gaze flits around the room for a minute before she finally notices you. She looks at you quizzically before you shift your gaze down to your rum.
To slap her, turn to page 47.
To kiss her, turn to page 132.
(both pages lead to your immediate death)
I agree with Mrs. Pickles' comments about writing in the first person -- it limits the reader to knowing only what the main character knows and seeing what he sees. Also, the only point of view possible is that of the main character.
ReplyDeleteOne other thought about writing in the first person: you would have to keep up Jack's idiosyncratic speech pattern all the way through ("me expectations", for example). That would be hard, unless it is the way you naturally talk -- otherwise it might sound artificial and forced. It might also get tedious for the reader.
The Orphans of Chaos series by John C. Wright is written mostly in the 1st person, except for one part where he changes to the third person for plot-significant reasons I won't spoil here. When he changes back it's subtle but effective.
ReplyDeleteI think you could keep up the pirate dialect for the whole novel, but you might end up talking that way in real life. For some variety, you could tell each book or chapter from a different character's perspective.
And it's not like Captain Jack is Jar-Jar Binks:
"I took a sip ta mesa wum and tried to calm mesaself. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa turned back towards Wesagina, stared into her blue eyes, and from derre, quickly found mesaself lost. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! She seemed distracted and her gaze flitted about der woom for a minute before she finally noticed mesa. Way? Esqueeze mesa. She looked at mesa quizzically before Mesa shifted mesa gaze down to mesa wum. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks!"
I don't know - 1st person is more immediate, and draws me into the story more/quicker. Why don't you try a chapter and see how it feels. It can be challenging, since Jack won't have visibility of a lot of things, but there are devices to work around that.
ReplyDelete- Dad
One thing I'd like to mention is that 3rd person omniscient is extremely out-of-vogue these days. It's something my instructor will call her students on, if they try to drift from one character's POV to another's within a scene. Even when you're writing 3rd person, it ought to still be through the character's eyes and heart, and we're not supposed to include information that the character doesn't know. It helps anchor the reader in the scene.
ReplyDeleteSee Harry Potter for a good example of what I'm talking about. Even though it's third person, everything is seen through Harry's eyes, and the reader doesn't know anything that Harry doesn't know.
I asked my instructor if I could write a 1st person novel with two different POVs (Jack's and Regina's), because the only 1st person novels I've read are from one character's POV only. She said that it is allowable and it is done from time to time. It requires a lot of skill on the author's part to make it immediately clear to the reader whose POV we're in from the start of the scene.
So, if Space Pirates were to be a 1st person novel, I'd probably still use 3rd person for the beginning (the anonymous Captain's POV) and near the end (Sikorsky's POV). Jack and Regina would be 1st person, and I don't know what I'd do with the couple scenes from Damian AKA Elijah's POV.
(BTW, for those who read the first draft, several characters have been renamed: Elijah->Damian (with an "a"), John->Yosef, Steve->Steven, and I finally bit the bullet and renamed Zack to Chris. Chris White from the scene I posted from E2 is now Miles (thanks for the suggestion mom!))
Yes, a number of SF novels are 1st person. Robert Heinlein used it in "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress", "Starship Troopers", and "Podkayne of Mars". In the latter, he switched to another person's POV in the last chapter. This was dramatic, since for a moment you thought the heroine had been killed. Also Poul Anderson, in "The High Crusade" - all of these excellent books. Also of course, Moby Dick, if you like that sort of thing. "Call me Ishmael/Cap'n Flynt"
ReplyDelete- Dad
I agree with Dave. You should write in 2nd person and change it into a choose-your-own-adventure. (My girls agree -- at least that's what I'm inferring from their hysterical laughter at Jack's immediate demise.)
ReplyDelete