To encourage love of the environment, all civilian recycling will be tracked via monitoring chips. The city administrator believes citizens will find these tracking chips even less invasive than the rectal implants tested on the population last year.
Alexandria's benevolent administrator addresses its peaceful citizens.
We hope you enjoy your stay in the People's Republic of Alexandria 17. Should you have any issues, the friendly Overwatch officers will assist you without mercy or hesitation.
A friendly Alexandria policeman officers his assistance.
Next week, we will discuss the numerous benefits of Alexandria 17's suppression field.
Are you making fun of smelly ol' Virginia again?
ReplyDeleteMr. Pickles is wondering why they didn't just use that $180,000 to conduct an easy survey to find out who's recycling, rather than use the rectal implants. Or they could just ask the guys who work on the recycling trucks.
How ironic that this article appears just days after this one.
Yeah, I want my money back too.
ReplyDeleteI think they botched my rectal implant. Instead of a tracking device, they just filled me up with somebody's poop.
I told the doctor that "I'd never crap from NOBODY!"
I think I'll sue.