"So for the Blizzard Christmas party," the Resident Murloc says to me a couple days ago, "I'm going to get my hair done like Elsa's."

There is a short pause.

"Schneider?" I reply.

"Yeah."

I pause again, briefly, while images like the one below, and thoughts of the Austrian Goodbye dance through my head.

"We may have to go home early."

"Very early."

Click here to be immersed in Coolness.

Geriatric Jones and the...

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? What the hell kind of name is that? It sounds like the name of one of the cheesy novels or video games. Raiders of the Lost Ark; The Last Crusade; Temple of Doom; hell, even The Fate of Atlantis; those are cool titles. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Not so much.

By the way, which one of you no-good, fake, phony friends of mine new about this and didn't tell me about it? Now you can fly an F-16 down the Grand Canyon at 1000 mph, or land on the Las Vegas strip from the comfort of your own work.

Also, be sure to check out the new, digitally-remastered by George Lucas version of Singin' in the Rain.

Good News, Everyone!

Synchronize your watches for October 23rd, 2007!