Sure is a good thing I lift weights

Cpl Vangoderhafersham

Earth Space Marine



Holy crap! My shotgun just ripped the head off that zombie-thing! Well, I better reload and get ready for something else. Hmmm… I’ll just reach down to my bandoleer of 97 shotgun shells. Now I only have 96. Jeez, this bandoleer sure has been getting heavy. I’ve carried this thing for the last two hours, and probably carried it at least 3 miles now. At least it wasn’t full when I started. I picked up most of the ammo as I went. Strange so much of it was just lying around. I guess I—



Oh crap! Die fowl demon scum! I better switch to my chain gun. That got him! Man I love the whir of that gun. Too bad I have to haul 500 rounds of ammo just to get 10 seconds of joy. Dang, I’m down to 264 rounds. Oh there’s some just lying on the ground next to some extra shotgun shells. Now where did I put that shotgun? Oh, here it is strapped to my back. Let me just, uh, well let me just strap the chain gun to my belt while I reload the shotgun.



Wow, a hidden area! What makes this area more hidden than any other area on this level – er I mean space installation? Well obviously that special little chime played when I walked in so it must be hidden. I’m sure someone somewhere is giving me extra points or something. A rocket launcher? Where the heck am I gonna put that? I wish I could find a hidden area with a super secret sack which I could stuff all my crap in and drag it behind me. Holy mother of all things beautiful in Cleveland! A box of 10 rocket rounds is heavier than --- well its pretty darn heavy.



It’s good thing I took that Space Marine sensitivity training or I probably would have sworn a second ago.



I think I see some badies coming. Let me just put this crap down. Now rocket launcher… gotta… get the ammo… out of the darn box… oh crap I just tore the packaging. Now they’re just rolling all over the place. Well, I’ll pick them up later after I fire the two nearest me. Wow! That’ll learn ‘em! Ain’t no power in hell apparently powerful enough to withstand a good RPG to the chest.



Now how am I gonna take all this stuff with me. It must weigh at least 400. My stupid body armor certainly weighs enough. Maybe I could ditch a couple of these first aid kits. How many wounds do I really think I can take? Besides that many shots of adrenaline would kill me if I took them all within the same 2 hour period.



Well it sure is a good thing I lift weights because I probably couldn’t even hold the chain gun if I didn’t. Well I guess I could hollow out the rib cage of that demon thing and stuff everything in it… I could drag it by the spinal cord? I dunno. Maybe I could find some rope and tie everything together and just drag it behind me? Too bad they don’t make more pockets for these pants or a bigger back pack. Oh fudge it. I’m gonna go play Boggle.