So, a little while ago, my phone decided to go on a little butt adventure. Or my butt went on a phone adventure. Either way, the phone activated and unlocked in my pocket, while I was walking back to work from Mass, and had a gay old time with my butt. It was even courteous enough to take screenshots along the way, so I could find out what it was up to.
The first thing my butt did was try to access my Google wallet, probably to try and empty my bank account. Fortunately, it didn't know my pin (even though you can find it here), but I haven't trusted my butt since.
Next, it went into my contacts, and gave the Murloc a call. The Murloc didn't answer, so my butt left a voicemail, but didn't say anything.
After that, it loaded up Facebook and browsed around a bit. It liked one of Sara Harold's status updates.
To be fair, it was a pretty funny status update.
Then things started to get a little weird.
My butt started researching homosexuality.
And shopping for books about homosexuality on Amazon.
I'm... really not sure what to make of this. Why is my butt so interested in sodomy? I don't think I really care to know.
It was about this time that I arrived back at work and pulled out my phone to turn off the pedometer, only to realize something was off. I quickly arrested control of the phone from my butt, and put an end to its shenanigans. I'm shudder to think what more it would have done had I let its adventure go on.
That. is. hilarious.
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