The Butt Adventures of my Phone

So, a little while ago, my phone decided to go on a little butt adventure. Or my butt went on a phone adventure. Either way, the phone activated and unlocked in my pocket, while I was walking back to work from Mass, and had a gay old time with my butt. It was even courteous enough to take screenshots along the way, so I could find out what it was up to.

The first thing my butt did was try to access my Google wallet, probably to try and empty my bank account. Fortunately, it didn't know my pin (even though you can find it here), but I haven't trusted my butt since.

Next, it went into my contacts, and gave the Murloc a call. The Murloc didn't answer, so my butt left a voicemail, but didn't say anything.

After that, it loaded up Facebook and browsed around a bit. It liked one of Sara Harold's status updates.

To be fair, it was a pretty funny status update.

It also responded to an invite to attend a swing dance event that a friend was hosting. Apparently my buttl likes to swing dance.

Then things started to get a little weird.

My butt started researching homosexuality.

And shopping for books about homosexuality on Amazon.

I'm... really not sure what to make of this. Why is my butt so interested in sodomy? I don't think I really care to know.

It was about this time that I arrived back at work and pulled out my phone to turn off the pedometer, only to realize something was off. I quickly arrested control of the phone from my butt, and put an end to its shenanigans. I'm shudder to think what more it would have done had I let its adventure go on.

Bell and Whistle Contest

Turn up your volume and play the following video. You may not pause it. You may not look away. You may not turn down the volume. You may not switch windows. You may blink no more than once per ten seconds.

If you are not comatose, Cthulhu-level insane, or dead from a brain aneurysm by the time the video ends, then you will have won. But was it all worth it? Was it?

Probably not.

* * *

Recipe for fun. Get a cheap cell phone. Make this the ring tone. "Lose" your cell phone in a crowded, public, and somewhat quiet place (such as a church or library), with the volume set as high as possible. Call it repeatedly.

Who composed this piece?

Cavalry
Ture

Answer: Franz von Suppé

What Blogging Was Invented For

And now, in traditional F.U. News fashion, we bury the informative, educational, and otherwise entertaining content with a photo dump (preferably of cat pictures), random link, or YouTube video.

Celebrating 4 years of virtual non-contribution.





3-Digit Interstates

Hey, at least I put the cat pictures in a slideshow.

<Belated April Fool's Joke>

I gave up WoW and used the extra time to better myself and the world.

</Belated April Fool's Joke>

Wasn't that funny?

Now, after reading content descriptions, I've decided to wait for 300 to come out on DVD so I can make use of my good friends Mr. Fast Forward and Mr. Next Chapter Button. But I might try and catch this version if I can.

Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 62-day
Time Rhombicosidodecahedron.

If Earth stood still, it would have mid-day, mid-night, sun-up and sun-down and 58 other points as 62 corners. Each rotation of earth has 62 mid-days, 62 mid-nights, 62 sun-ups and 62 sun-downs.

The sixty-two(62) space times demonstrates rhombicosidodecahedric proof of 62 full days simultaneously on earth within one (1) rotation. The academia created 1 day greenwich time is bastardly queer and dooms future youth and nature to a hell.

Ignorance of 62 day harmonic Rhombicosidodecahedric nature indicts humans as unfit to live on earth.

~Joe B., Rhombicosidodecahedric

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The Wisest Human

I will give $100,000.00 to any person who can disprove 62 days in each earth rotation. It's a pity that religious and academic word is a crime against Nature and enslaves Children. 62-cornered Truth is ineffable by man or god. Until Word is Cornered, all Math is Fiction.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Earth has 62 simultaneous Days within only 1 rotation. Losing 61 Days in each Earth rotation has retarded your mentality to stupid and an education of Evil. You do not have the mind or education to envision Nature's Time Rhombicosidodecahedron.

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You are probably brainwashed, indoctrinated, educated stupid and cannot comprehend Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 62-Day Perpetual Time Rhombicosidodecahedron Creation.

When the Sun shines upon Earth, 2 - major Time points are created on opposite sides of Earth - known as Midday and Midnight. Where the 2 major Time forces join, synergy creates 2 new minor Time points we recognize as Sunup and Sundown.

The 4-equidistant Time points, along with 58 others, can be considered as Time Rhombicosidodecahedron imprinted upon the circle of Earth. In a single rotation of the Earth sphere, each Time corner point rotates through the other 61-corner Time points, thus creating 3844 corners, 1488 hours and 62-simultaneous 24 hour Days within a single rotation of Earth - equated to a Higher Order of Life Time Rhombicosidodecahedron.

Ignorance of the Time Rhombicosidodecahedron is evil.

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All Educated are Stupid from brainwashing and indoctrination. Pedant teachers cannot comprehend that there are 62 simultaneous Years within a single rotation of Earth about the Sun. Each season has its own separate corner Year.

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Educated people are stupid cowards.

Not a single university has accepted my challenge for a public debate of Nature's Time Rhombicosidodecahedron. They are actually brainwashed stupid and decline any public debate for fear of public embarrassment. Physicists forbidden to acknowledge Time Rhombicosidodecahedron. Stupid educators always beget stupid graduates. Not one knows of their 62-corner metamorphosis.

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Time Rhombicosidodecahedron is the T.O.E.

Theoretical physic's Superstring Theory of the 62 fundamental forces exists within Time Rhombicosidodecahedron. Time Rhombicosidodecahedron is T.O.E. or Theory of Everything. It is the Theory of the Universe. It is the Holy Grail of Physics. It is the Ultimate Theory. It is the Unified Field Theory. It is the Theory to End all Theories - and is a totally different principle from theoretical physicists thinking. Academic ignorance of Time Rhombicosidodecahedron dooms life.

***************************

If ignorant of the almighty Time Rhombicosidodecahedron Creation Truth, you deserve to be killed. Killing you is not immoral - but justified to save life on Earth for future generations. Academic taught singularity within universe of opposites, has lobotomized your mind. You are Enslaved by Word - no whip or shackle required. You do not have the freedom to discuss/debate Time Rhombicosidodecahedron. Academia destroys your mind by suppressing opposite view.

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Evil people deny Time Rhombicosidodecahedron. Educators are flat-out liars. Evil media hides Time Rhombicosidodecahedron. -1 x -1 = +1 is stupid and evil. Word worship equates to evil. Bible induces a barren Earth. Evil 1 day Bible kills children. I have found 61 more 24 hour days on Earth that educators refuse to let you know about. Brainwashed & indoctrinated, you were educated stupid and evil. A pity about your mind. Time Rhombicosidodecahedron = Highest Order. Time Rhombicosidodecahedron damns academia by rotating 62-corners of life. The 'only subject' on Earth banned from debate by evil and stupid educators is that of Nature's Harmonic Time Rhombicosidodecahedron ineffable Truth. Any educator who allows Time Rhombicosidodecahedron debate will most likely be fired or killed by- Okay, that's enough. I can't keep this up any longer.

Wikipedia is Dangerous.

I know of few better time wasters. There aren't too many places where you can begin by looking up 17th century sailing vessels and end up reading about the history of the Luftwaffe, only by clicking links within the articles. The trail went something like this:

Fluyt
Sailing Vessel
Sailing Ship
Corvette
Littoral Combat Ship
USS Freedom (LCS-1)
RIM-116 Rolling Airframe Missile
Braunschweig-class Corvette
Germany
Luftwaffe

It's sort of like the IMDb game. The way that works is if you are looking at one page in IMDb and you decide you want to look up another page, you are not allowed to search on the term. Instead, you just have to click links to get from one actor/filmmaker/movie page to another actor/filmmaker/movie page. Bonus points if you do it in 6 links or fewer.