I'd feel better discussing this with a Drill Instructor, but since Senator Kerry seems to find time lying heavily on his hands . . .

Dear Senator Kerry,

I am confused about Christian formation.

It states in the Kolbe Academy Policy Handbook that, in light of truths enumerated by the Pope in Familiaris Consortio, and in accordance with methodology developed by Saint Ignatius of Loyola, " . . . education is about formation, not information: formation of the child's will and assistance with the discernment of vocation." The handbook goes on to say, "Any educational effort that fails to form the will fails the student."

I recently received a letter from Trinity School which announced, "The development of character and Christian piety is not part of the mission of Trinity Schools."

So, what's up with that?


Please hurry,
Confused Mom

+++++++++++++
Respect Life



Dear Recruit,

Are we writing a letter during class? Holy fornicating monkey poop! Have you lost your friggin mind?! Do you need my help finding it!? Who on this Dog Gamn rat poop heap you call your home planet are you writing to? We are writing a letter to our senator? Senior Drill Instructor is going to love your caboose. Excuse me sir, I have a recruit here who wants to write his senator. Would you like me to read it out loud to our company commander? Very well.

“I'd feel better discussing this with a Drill Instructor” Oh don’t worry about that yoo-hoos. GO AHEAD AND LOSE YOUR BEARING IN FRONT OF ME TOO! You’re about as jacked up as a football bat, you nasty thing.

Come here college. You think you can write letters in class because you’re smarter than every other recruit. You went to college, didn’t you? “I”!?! “I”!?! How about ‘this recruit’. Or did they not teach that in college? Did they teach phys-ed in your college? Talk to me like you're my girlfriend too, nasty. Shut your suck. Start pushin. You will push until I am tired. Begin.

Where was I, Senior? Oh yes. “I am confused about Christian formation.” Recruit, do you believe in the Blessed Virgin Mary? You’d better get up and tell the platoon that you Dog Gamn do love the Blessed Virgin Mary! Get back on your face.

“In light of truths emniated by the Pope in Family Concert, and in accordion with methogdy developed by Saint Igneous of …” Some kind of nastiness. Recruit, are you some kind of butt crack nasty rocket surgeon? OH I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST TALK TO ME ON YOUR FACE!!!

Get up! Shut your suck. You have 5 seconds to get to the other side of the room. Go, 5, 4, 1. Get back! 5, 1. No, get back! 5, 2, 3, 1. Get Back. Oh we want to get tired. Very well, we can play games instead. Mountain climbers, begin.

“Blah blah blah, I am huge monkey fornicating myself with a football who recently received a letter from Trinity School which announced, ‘The development of character and Christian pies is not part of the mission of Trinity Schools.’ So, what's up with that?”… “So what’s up with that?” Senior did you hear that? We must be back on the block with our boys. Apparently we haven’t learned a single thing from our Senior Drill Instructor all the time we’ve been here. We must be back on training day one. You must be trying to embarrass him in front of the company commander. Because of your nastiness I have to purge the entire platoon before you start to spread like a fungus. From now on you are all back on training day one. Platoon, say 'thank you'.

Allow me to answer your question in words that most of us understand: YOUR FIRST MISSION IS TO DO WHATEVER I TELL YOU! After that you next mission is to unfornicate yourself.

"Respect Life"? You're a killer! You will not respect life, you will rip the heart of your enemy with your bare teeth and you will like it. Do you like to kill? You'd better give me a war cry or you will be doing mountain climbers on every drill deck I can find in North America.

Get up. I swear to God, thing, every time I look at you I hear circus music. What foreign government sent you here to pollute my Marine Corps?

“This recruit don’t know, sir.” Wow, you’re as sharp as a fartsack full of doorknobs. See that rock over there. Pick it up. Put it in you left breast pocket because that is now your new ID card, bright one. Now get out of my sight before I claw my eyes out to relieve the pain.