What I deserve for Christmas: How you should spend your money on me



First let’s define some terminology.



\Some\ (s[u^]m), a. [OE. som, sum. See Same, a., and cf. -some.] 1. Consisting of a greater or less portion or sum; composed of a quantity or number which is not stated; -- used to express an indefinite quantity or number; as, some wine; some water; some persons. Used also pronominally; as, I have some.



\Ter`mi*nol"o*gy\, n. [L. terminus meaning place of boarding in an Airport term + -logy: cf. F. terminologie.] 1. The doctrine of terms; a theory of terms or appellations; a treatise on terms.



Okay, now lets define deserve according to Webster.



\De*serve"\ (d[-e]*z[~e]rv"), v. t. [imp. & p. p. Deserved; p. pr. & vb. n. Deserving.] [OF. deservir, desservir, to merit, L. deservire to serve zealously, be devoted to; de- + servire to serve. See Serve.] 1. To earn Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set by service; to be worthy of (something due, either good or evil); to merit a Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set; to be entitled to a Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set; as, the laborer deserves his Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set; a work of value deserves a Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set.



Now that we understand each other, I deserve a box set copy of Star Wars Widescreen Super Duper Edition DVD with such awesome features as

• Never before seen "Luke snoring" and "Darth Vader twiddling his thumbs" scenes
  
  
• "My obsession makes more sense than your obsession - A look at how stupid Star Trek is in comparison" Documentary
  
  
• “Learn to Act” Special feature starring Mark Hamill
  
  
• “Make your own stupid special effect regardless of what it does to the plot line” interactive PC feature
  
  
• "My DVD Box Set can beat up your stupid DVD Box Set" feature with boxing gloves and boxing ring for your Box Set
  
  
• And exclusive sneak peak at Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith floor tiling

The Box Set if you buy it for me now, like you know you should, because I deserve it, comes with two (2) free Star Wars drink coasters. You cooooould use them for any drink, but I think that is sacriledge. You should only use the official Star Wars power drink “Wookie-Ade” on your official Star Wars drink coasters. You can’t get these drink coasters anywhere else and it is only for a limited time, so you have to hurry up and buy me this Box Set NOW!



But don’t take my word about the obvious coolness of the Box Set, when you could take the word of Bib Fortuna, Jabba’s right hand man. “Izioto? Zi katzi umootsi. Lay jada zogootsi. Lok cha!”



Don’t let naysayers tell you otherwise. Most of them haven’t found true happiness in life and only want to spread their misery. Besides, my wife has only been in the family for like 2 years where I have been in for like 21 or something. A Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set is an irreplaceable part of every boys happiness. Whereas Ileana can be replaced.



So if you take anything away from the true meaning of Christmas, it should be the pride and joy of knowing you bought me Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set. No seriously. Joking aside. Buy me a Star Wars Widescreen DVD Box Set. If you are still reading this, then you are not buying it for me now. Why? Get off your bottom and go buy it. For me…. NOW!