Obituary: Anne Marie Belland

Wife of F.U. News Founder Lost to "World of WarCraft"



Anne Marie Belland, area wench and wife of F.U. News Founder Joe Belland, has been lost to World of WarCraft, a virus created by Irvine based software company Blizzard Entertainment. She is among 300,000 people who have been diagnosed with or lost to the disease in the last two weeks.



"I know I'll really miss her, but in my heart I know she's gone on to a better place," said Joe Belland. "Now her spirit can roam freely amongst the Elven forests of Teldrassil or the Dwarven mountains of Loch Modan. I only hope that one day soon, I too will be able to join her."



According to Loretta Kuntz at the Center for Disease Prevention and Control, WoW, as it is being called, is the fastest-spreading MMO epidemic as yet, with 240,000 becoming infected on opening day, and as many as 7,000 at its originating point, a Fry's Electronics in Fountain Valley, CA. "We knew that WoW was coming and that we had to prepare for it, but we had no idea that it would be such a huge epidemic," said Kuntz. "It has caught us completely off guard, and as such, many of our treatment centers are too over-crowded to deal with all the reported cases."



Also overburdened by the influx of cases is Widows of WoW, a support group for those who have lost their loved ones to WoW. Said Judy Caruso of WOWoW, "In the last week alone, we've received 56,000 calls from people whose husbands or boyfriends or sons have become swallowed up by this hideous disease. 90% of the victims of the disease are male. Joe is one of the few men who have lost their female counterparts to WoW."



"The most important thing for Belland is not to become a victim himself," continued Caruso. "Many widows and widowers are tempted to expose themselves to the disease, hoping that they'll be able to meet their loved ones again. In most cases this just leads to further spread of the infection. He needs to keep himself occupied with things like work and family."



"Besides," continued Caruso, "if he does become infected, he may lose his job, and the $15 per month subscription isn't going to pay itself."