NCAA Requiring Notre Dame to Change Mascot

SOUTH BEND, IN - In the wake of the National Collegiate Athletic Association ruling to prohibit American Indian names and mascots in postseason tournaments, the NCAA has issued another ruling requiring the University of Notre Dame to change their team name and mascot if they wish to participate in postseason play.

"After requiring the University of Illinois Fighting Illini and the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux to change there names as 'hostile' and 'abusive' to Native Americans, we realized it would be racist if we didn't require the Notre Dame Fighting Irish to change their name, as abusive to Irish persons," said NCAA spokesman Jamaal Foney.

The ruling has come under immediate fire from Notre Dame administration, as well as from sports commentators around the nation. Said one dissenter to the name change, "even though I support the ruling about American Indian mascots, I don't think we should apply the same standard to other groups. The Native Americans have been so oppressed by this nation that I don't think we should say anything about them that may or may not be considered hostile. It's a different story with the Irish, though. I mean, it's not like anyone has ever oppressed them."

A University of Notre Dame spokesman said "while we do approve of the removal of stereotypes, particularly Native American stereotypes, from sports teams, I would like to point out that the Notre Dame's mascot is not a stereotype. While not all Indians wear feathers, throw tomahawks, and collect scalps, all Irishmen are short, wear green, drink beer, and get in bar fights."