True Story

Well, since Cari's writing about all her funny experiences in college, I figured I should share this story from my recent past.

One of my numerous jobs here at [company name deleted] is to conduct training in the use of our software. So the last training session I conducted before Australia was here in our offices this July. When I actually have to meet face to face with a client or potential client, I can't wear my usual jeans and T-Shirt to work, so I wear my "nice clothes": the now-6-year-old faded "blue"pants my mom bought me when I started at El Camino College, and one of two identical white long sleeve shirts. My co-workers, Jeremy and Amy, sat in on parts of the course that took place over three days. Well, at one point when I was in the training room and they were back in the office, Jeremy said to Amy, "this may sound bad, but we have got to get Joe new clothes". So before the training in Australia, Amy staged an intervention and offered to take me out to help me buy new clothes. You may not know it but Amy is getting married this Saturday. The poor girl, nine days before her wedding, when she's in the midst of final preperations, dealing with her future mother-in-law, and the stress caused by everything, takes a long lunch from work so she can take me to go clothes shopping.

So the day before I left, Amy and I went to Kohl's so I could get some nice clothes. How much of a guy am I that I need my co-worker to take me to buy clothes because I would be too helpless on my own? It is truely amazing watching a woman at work shopping, though. While I was walking amongst the endless racks of pants, I saw only three kinds: Black, Blue, and Gray. Amy, however, was able to see through these superficialities to the inner core of the pants and was somehow able to determine, through some kind of special feminine intuition, that some of these pants were better than others. She also mentioned some strange terminology like "pleats". I'm assuming this is some strange concept that only women can understand.

Also, I was amazed to learn that shirts now come in actual colors other than white. Not only that, but some of them even have patterns on them, such as pinstripes. What will modern technology come up with next?




That's it. That's all there is to the story. No, there's no punch-line, aside from "I'm a guy".

What? You're not satisfied with that? Ok, how about this: A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that lasts a lifetime.

Still not laughing, eh? Well how 'bout this one? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Give up? The holocaust.

Sheesh, this room makes an igloo seem pleasant. Well, you better laugh at something. I've got enough material to go all night.