Judge Greer Orders Removal of Pope's Feeding Tube

VATICAN CITY - Florida District Court Judge George Greer has ordered the removal of Pope John Paul II's feeding tube. The tube was inserted yesterday to help the Pontiff stay nourished during his recovery from his recent illness.

The ruling follows a suit from attorney George Felos asking for the Popes feeding tube to be removed, claiming that "he had stated in a casual conversation I once had with him that he did not want to live this way." Felos goes on to state that "it's beneath the dignity of any human being to live. This is something that the Pope recognized and had stated before."

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith argued the case against the removal of the feeding tube. "It has been John Paul II's teaching on numerous occasions that every human being has a right to life and it is immoral to deprive one of basic care, such as food and water."

Judge Greer threw out Cardinal Ratzinger's testimony, citing the seperation of church and state, saying that the teachings of one religion could not be used to determine if some one wished to live or die. "The evidence that Ratzinger presents for why the pope would wish to be kept alive artificially is invalid, since he was too old to make life or death decisions at the time of making those teachings.


[Author's note: Sorry this isn't very funny. I'm just too angry at this point to write something humorous.]